Androyd's Junk Emporium
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The Junk shop is currently a rather large and empty space with a lot of dust and cobwebs. It looks like a large and disused hanger because of course it is one.It is already starting to fill up with various old bits of furniture. Across the entrance is a rustic arch. A large collection of Beer Mats decorate one wall. On the opposite wall is a large banner which proclaims: Government of the people, for the people, by the people. In a dark corner you can make out a luminous sign glowing with the words "WEAPONS STORE". In the gloom you can make out the shapes of a couple of motorbikes, one appears to have been stripped of all it's working parts. There is a sound track of badly played bagpipes echoing through the hangar.
To one side is a slightly battered looking humanoid service robot trying to a get small computer terminal up and running. Every so often a shower of sparks arcs upwards. A tall, slim figure, her long hair glowing with a strange blue sheen reaches out languidly from the shadows, holding a duster with which she carefully polishes a section of the android's casing. She is wearing a skin tight blue body suit. She is felis sapiens. She fixes you with an unblinking stare...The robot speaks:
"Hi there its a bit of a mess at the moment. However over the next month or so we will be busy decorating and organising all of the items we have found. Feel free to look round."
I am looking for guide entries about things and concepts rather than places which have lain dormant for a year or more....(well actually since the whole thing is only a year old let's say 6 months for now)....junk in other words. Feel free to post suggestions and as things get under way we'll see about categorising them, but the best junk shops are just a mess.Here's one for starters, dormant since last September:
Fingernails
Coffee Tables
Bean Bags
Chairs
The Pen
Beer Mats
Amber Jewellery
Crystals
Venus Fly Traps
Dopamine
Toilets
Stuff
Deoderants
Spiders
Kettle
Java the programming language
Credit Cards
Motorbikes
Chip Forks Classic junk, this!!
Anoraks
Bagpipes...
Rules of squash
Left-Handers
Tampax
Public Information Services
Asteroids
Lampposts
Anoraks
Mobile Phones
Bonobos
Reiki, the Usui Healing System
War
ESP etc.
Relativity
Marketing
Intelligarchy
Golf Course Living
Air
Snails of the Air
Laws of Improbability and Chaos Theory
Fiat Lux
Eurovision Song Contest
Censorship Classic junk
Murder
Weddings
Spitting
Bullets This one's for Chrome 101
GunAnd this
Biological Weapons
Kevlar
Orbital Weapons Platform
This is for strange things such as:
Time TravelTime Travel
Obviously a rupture in the space/time continuum caused this but still junk however many times it appears..
Pearly Kings and Queens
Ducking Stool
Advertising
Skips and Scavenging
Fast Food Outlet User Manual
Breakfast Taco Buying Guide
Examples
DownloadsOne of my favourites
Sushi
Indian Side Dishes
Fast Food
Cheese Whiz
..Cheese Dippers
Grilled cheese sandwiches
Cake
Cockroaches Fashion Cat seems to think this is food....
Delicious American Cookies
Toasted sandwiches
Blue Foods
Local Delicacies
SPAM
Metabolic Diseases
How to seriously get a Doctor's Attention
Asthma
A slim and gorgeous new assistant is padding around the dark and dusty corners of H2G2 seeking out tast tidbits to add to our collection. She is :
FASHION CAT
If as a result of being found in the junk shop an entry becomes the focus for comment and discussion it can be considered to have been purchased and will be removed from the shop on application to the owner.
Don't panic!! You are in Hangar 12 of
THE H2G2 SPACE CENTRE.
To one side is a slightly battered looking humanoid service robot trying to a get small computer terminal up and running. Every so often a shower of sparks arcs upwards. A tall, slim figure, her long hair glowing with a strange blue sheen reaches out languidly from the shadows, holding a duster with which she carefully polishes a section of the android's casing. She is wearing a skin tight blue body suit. She is felis sapiens. She fixes you with an unblinking stare...The robot speaks:
"Hi there its a bit of a mess at the moment. However over the next month or so we will be busy decorating and organising all of the items we have found. Feel free to look round."
WHAT IS JUNK?
I am looking for guide entries about things and concepts rather than places which have lain dormant for a year or more....(well actually since the whole thing is only a year old let's say 6 months for now)....junk in other words. Feel free to post suggestions and as things get under way we'll see about categorising them, but the best junk shops are just a mess.Here's one for starters, dormant since last September:
Fingernails
ITEMS FOR SALE
Rustic Arch I'm fond of this, I may keep it.Coffee Tables
Bean Bags
Chairs
The Pen
Beer Mats
Amber Jewellery
Crystals
Venus Fly Traps
Dopamine
Toilets
Stuff
Deoderants
Spiders
Kettle
Java the programming language
Credit Cards
Motorbikes
Chip Forks Classic junk, this!!
Anoraks
Bagpipes...
Rules of squash
Left-Handers
Tampax
Public Information Services
Asteroids
Lampposts
Anoraks
Mobile Phones
Bonobos
Intangibles
DemocracyReiki, the Usui Healing System
War
ESP etc.
Relativity
Marketing
Intelligarchy
Golf Course Living
Air
Snails of the Air
Laws of Improbability and Chaos Theory
Fiat Lux
Eurovision Song Contest
Censorship Classic junk
Murder
Weddings
Spitting
WEAPONS STORE
KnivesBullets This one's for Chrome 101
GunAnd this
Biological Weapons
Kevlar
Orbital Weapons Platform
Curios
This is for strange things such as:
Time TravelTime Travel
Obviously a rupture in the space/time continuum caused this but still junk however many times it appears..
Pearly Kings and Queens
Ducking Stool
Advertising
Good Advice
Skips and Scavenging
Fast Food Outlet User Manual
Breakfast Taco Buying Guide
Examples
DownloadsOne of my favourites
Junk Food
SpaghettiSushi
Indian Side Dishes
Fast Food
Cheese Whiz
..Cheese Dippers
Grilled cheese sandwiches
Cake
Cockroaches Fashion Cat seems to think this is food....
Delicious American Cookies
Toasted sandwiches
Blue Foods
Local Delicacies
SPAM
Medical
Metabolic Diseases
How to seriously get a Doctor's Attention
Asthma
ANDROYD'S ASSISTANT
A slim and gorgeous new assistant is padding around the dark and dusty corners of H2G2 seeking out tast tidbits to add to our collection. She is :
FASHION CAT
Application to purchase item
If as a result of being found in the junk shop an entry becomes the focus for comment and discussion it can be considered to have been purchased and will be removed from the shop on application to the owner.
Where am I ?
Don't panic!! You are in Hangar 12 of
THE H2G2 SPACE CENTRE.
