The Pen
Created | Updated Apr 9, 2002
Derived from the stick, the pen is ideally suited to writing on paper.
In its normal form, "ball pen", it is one of the most common and useful
everyday objects known to man. Most common brands of this variety of
pen can be stripped down to a hollow tube, ideal for propelling lentils
at unsuspecting passers by.
It has been proposed that all pens are in fact manufactured by one man, or
rather spirit, namely the Dark Lord from the Lord of the Rings. Just like
his other great creation, pens have the ability to leave their owner at will,
only to be discovered missing when they are desperately needed (i.e. in a bar
after chatting to an extremely attractive member of the opposite sex). Upon
leaving their owner there appears to be two main destinations, another owner
or down the back of a sofa. Unlike the ring however they don't have the
ability to make one invisible, in fact they will do the opposite if one is
stuck up each nostril and a pair of underpants put on the head.
A common misconception regarding the pen, is that it is "mightier than the
sword". Just imagine the look on King Arthurs face if the Lady of the Lake
had presented him with a pen. "One Land, One King! Oh, by the way, does
anyone know where I can get a bag of lentils"?
The pen has also managed to keep up with modern technology. NASA scientists
in conjunction with a major pen manufacturer, developed a pen with a built
in pump, allowing it to write in space. Anyone who's ever sent a postcard
home from Spain will probably agree that this development was a complete
waste of time!
In its normal form, "ball pen", it is one of the most common and useful
everyday objects known to man. Most common brands of this variety of
pen can be stripped down to a hollow tube, ideal for propelling lentils
at unsuspecting passers by.
It has been proposed that all pens are in fact manufactured by one man, or
rather spirit, namely the Dark Lord from the Lord of the Rings. Just like
his other great creation, pens have the ability to leave their owner at will,
only to be discovered missing when they are desperately needed (i.e. in a bar
after chatting to an extremely attractive member of the opposite sex). Upon
leaving their owner there appears to be two main destinations, another owner
or down the back of a sofa. Unlike the ring however they don't have the
ability to make one invisible, in fact they will do the opposite if one is
stuck up each nostril and a pair of underpants put on the head.
A common misconception regarding the pen, is that it is "mightier than the
sword". Just imagine the look on King Arthurs face if the Lady of the Lake
had presented him with a pen. "One Land, One King! Oh, by the way, does
anyone know where I can get a bag of lentils"?
The pen has also managed to keep up with modern technology. NASA scientists
in conjunction with a major pen manufacturer, developed a pen with a built
in pump, allowing it to write in space. Anyone who's ever sent a postcard
home from Spain will probably agree that this development was a complete
waste of time!
