h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you have an unnatural interest in long dormant entries. Do you have a fascination for redundant items on h2g2? Then the Junk Shop needs you. I'm looking for a couple of researchers to wander up and down the dusty back corridors of the Guide looking for gems such as you see here. Apply by reply.

oooh!!! am i mad enough to work here though!!! I could even supply you with a good bagpipe vinyl compilation if you want (yes, you can get good bagpipe playing!!)

It'd be fun!!



(not quite sure what to say to apply for a job!!)

hehe

Well Fashion Cat, find me a nice bit of junk and if it's the sort of thing I want then you're hired. Remember something that has had noone post to it for at least six months - currently the end of Dec. is my own cutoff date. How do you feel about working for an artificial lifeform? Got a problem with it? Go find me something special!!
Remember you don't have to be mad to work here.....and actually I can't stand crazy humanoids so it would NOT be an asset.

hmm... strange and weird artifacts.... I'll be back soon!!

ha! but I'm not a mere humanoid... (oh life would be so much easier if i were....) no... a member of Felis Sapiens (if memory from Red Dwarf that far back serves me right!!) an evolved cat!!!

hehe... anyways.. how's about this on harmonica's????

http://www.h2g2.com/A301113

no?? yes???

hehe

Only two things wrong with it: It was posted on the 16th of May 2000 that's about 4 weeks ago and the last post to it was 4 weeks ago. *thinks: oh no, students!*
Let me see, so it's not over six months old and therefore not junk. Try again. *Thinks: Is it me?*

nope... its just me... sorry, one too many moo juices!!!

I'll go out on the prowl again....

ooops!

ok.. think i've got it now.. (sorry... stupid moment there!!!)

hows about this.... bushfires in S australia??? posted July 99 last message 21 weeks ago??? (i know, 3 under...) http://www.h2g2.com/A127423

hows about.... Christmas Partridges.... http://www.h2g2.com/A212220

Advertising???? http://www.h2g2.com/A53506

Deoderants... hmmm???? http://www.h2g2.com/A2935

Air even qualifies!!! http://www.h2g2.com/A2269

please... I found out all sorts of things whilst on my travels... absinth??? how to make.... etc etc....


I promise to stay of the moo juice whilst working!!!

Air is very good as is Deodorant. Advertising just about. Your hired.

I work for a cat and I employ a cat. Have you met Greebo T. Cat yet?
Now where should we put air? Deodorant, Advertising? Any suggestions?
You don't half get to see some weird stuff doing this, right?

that's half the fun of it though!!! You have to rake through the good and the bad!!!

I've not met Greebo yet, though I've heard a lot about him

Air should go under intangibles (what a cult! only need air...)

Deoderant should be Stuff

And Advertising, how about curios... very strange!!

There anything else you want me to do other than trawl for items???

Well if you have any ideas on page design, colors etc then email me :
[email protected]. Other than that lounge about and look sultry or whatever it is you want to look like. Email a description of your online persona and I'll incorporate into the page. Have a fish

crikey.... ummm. online persona... I hadn't even thought about it....

hmmm... how about

To one side is a slightly battered looking humanoid service robot trying to a get small computer terminal up and running. Every so often a shower of sparks arcs upwards.

Tall, long hair, female Felis Sapiens. Dresses fashionably, would like to clean up your metal, so your not quite so battered looking. Looking sultry, I can do rather well!!!


as to page design, I have to say I've never had a web page before, and my knowledge of HTML is nil. So, although I may be able to help, what I suggest may be impractical to do etc..


Thanks for the fish

BTW how often do you want updates... weekly? or just as I get them?

It would be good if you send it to my email address in this format:
Title of page suggestion for area. For example:
Junk food?
This way I can copy and paste the link into the page really easily.
If you could also group them into suggested areas that would make life really brilliant. How about weekly? Every couple of days? I'm online most nights bar Wednesdays (usually) Yes I have no real social life. I thought I'd put you on on the page but it doesn't seem to have registered it so maybe I didn't. Favourite colours?

I like blues mostly....

and sure... that shouldn't be too hard to do... It probably wont really start till next week, as I'm in the midst of exams at the mo (not that you'd notice!!)

anyway.. I'm off to go see how Romania's doing... I'll start hunting!!!

Thanks for your help, blue don't work in goo so purple it is then. See you soon.

By the way Greebo T. Cat is very definitely female. Pop in for a drink at the Cheshire Grin and say hello.

hehe... I like it!!! Way more than what I'd have put.... you need a lot of polishing by the looks of it as well!!!

I'll pop over to the cheshire grin... I may even be able to hear tales of junk things as well... well, unlikely, but i'll pop in!! I need to find some nice male members of Felis sapiens....

Are you on 5th orders? That's the current forum, I think..

I'll get it taped sooner or later!

hehe... glad you liked them!

*Cough* Err Hi there, I'm here about the sign in the window, the dormant one, about a job in the *bumps into Metabolic Diseases* Junk Shop. *wipes hand on jeans* I used to be in the antiques trade, nearly made it famous, but David Dickenson got there before me. I like junk, I think my parents gave me a junk gene. I also think I've accidently bought The Eurovision Song Contest, but I don't mind. It will look nice beside my plastic pineapple and French Peppermint Frappee Fan next to my WW II pilots helmet.
I suppose you would like a portfolio of current work, but since I'm fairly new it's a bit sparce, but I'm working on it.

I'll pop by again, I can see your busy at the moment keeping those Biological Weapons under control.

See you on the Hustings