Cockroaches are virtually indestructible. A flip-flop will not kill them. Not
even a sturdy trainer, or a stiletto heel can do the job. Cockroaches are said
to be the only creatures that would survive in the event of a massive nuclear
holocaust.

A number of experiments were carried out by Jason Maron, then a Caltech student
in theoretical astrophysics, to discover Just
how tough cockroaches really are. We also have a Researcher's personal experience
of living with a cockroach and a contribution on the Texas
Bird Roach. Or take a look the tasty tip given by The New Zealand Y2K Readiness
Commission on the Millennium Bug: A succulent cockroach recipe.

• Expose to vacuum
  
  Roach agitates violently as the air is removed, then is still.
  Vacuum is applied for 10 minutes. Upon return of the air, roach comes slowly back
  to life, appearing normal after two minutes.
• Dunk in water
  
  After 10 minutes of submersion, roach revives. No maximum dunk time yet established.
  
  
• Dunk in hydrochloric acid
  
  Roach dies in 30 seconds.
  
• Apply air pressure of 20 atmospheres
  
  No visible effect.
  
• Freeze in liquid nitrogen
  
  The roach chills out
  for good. Minimum survival temperature as yet undetermined.
  
• Place in 100 degree celsius oven
  
  Takes a while - but then its goose is cooked.
  
• Microwave
  
  No effect after one minute.
  
• Explosion
  
  Roach barely one centimetre away from an exploding M-80 survives.
  
• Radiation
  
  Roach unfazed by prolonged exposure
  to x-ray beam from 40kW rotating anode source. Human flesh so exposed is completely
  un-viable after one second.
  
• Crush between shoe and floor
  
  About 29N of force
  is required to squash the exoskeleton, known scientifically as the "crushpoint".

I have just come into contact with a higher form of life, and being both xenophobic
and neurotic, my first reaction is to try and murder it. No, it is not just
a spider, beetle or an ant. It is that scourge of mankind, that king of evils,
the cockroach.

This is no ordinary cockroach, he has approached almost four inches in length,
maybe as a result of all that atomic testing in Rajasthan. He is gigantic and
has a mind of his own, flying all the way from my bathroom and settling on my
desk. He is the only cockroach in my home (that I know of) and I have watched
him evade my futile attempts to kill him with that bug spray. I watched him
grow up: he was a just a big baby and over a short span of three weeks he has
metamorphosed into a hulk. I am scared to hit him with anything. This is not
your usual beat-up-with-a-magazine style of roach and he continues to eat the
poisoned aata placed strategically in a corner for him with apparent gusto.
Every day only shreds are left, and although that has enough poison to kill
an army of normal roaches, it only seems to make him bigger. I am afraid to
hit him; he may beat me up.

I have noticed him watching me, with those two opposing wands of his that seem
to move at will. Is he plotting his next move - just like me?

When talking of power in the cockroach community, I think it is worth a mention
that in Texas there exists a special type of roach, often referred to as the
Texas Bird Roach. Its evolutionary trajectory is significantly different to
the common scavenging roach.

The Texas Bird Roach is recognisable by its:

• One- to two-inch-long wings, that span nearly twice its body length
• Sharp teeth

This roach will do things that common house roaches do not do. Firstly bird
roaches can fly, and in moments of panic they take to the air. Secondly, bird roaches
grind their way through plastic bags and boxes to feed, so no loaf of bread or
box of cereal is safe.

The Texas Bird Roach is equally at home in nature as in the bathtub or sink.
As a result, they are not confined to any single domestic environment: they
roam. It is not uncommon to find them in bed with you at night, crawling on
your face. However, the destination was probably not your face but the outside
flowerbed: you just got in the way.

The New Zealand Y2K Readiness Commission has given new meaning to the phrase
"millennium bug". The commission is employing Ken, a computer-generated cockroach,
to urge New Zealanders to hoard essential supplies in case the world ends on
New Year's Eve. Should you find yourself starving, however, the commission has
helpfully included the following "succulent" cockroach recipe in its press kit.

Simmer cockroaches in
vinegar. Then boil with butter, farina flour, pepper
and salt to make a paste. Spread
on buttered bread.

Yum! Just the thing to wash down with champagne on January 1^st
2000 as you watch the sun come up and the computers go down!