time travel

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Some useful advice to time travellers.

1. Get a eccectric (barking) scientist friend. This will save all the tedious learning of physics required to build a time machine and leave you free to be the hero.


2. Don't bother trying to fit in when you get to what ever time period you deside to visit. Chicks dig the oddly dressed stranger who looks like he is from the future. Note only do this if you really are from the future as dressing up in bacofoil will only gain you ridicule.

3. Before you go, jot down a few horse race results to aid the funding of the mad professor friend, and to make a tidy profit.

4. Before you return home try and get hold of some antiques(or objects which will become antiques)

5. Try and become your own grandfather/mother. Not manny people can claim to have a self perpetuating family.

6. Try not to become your own father/mother as you will only end up blaming all your failitures on your self later on.

7. Have a go at trying to kill hitler. this will be impossible to do as history dictates that he wasn't killed by you, but what the hell,it's worth a try.

8. Invest in microsoft in it's early stages, make sure you invent some way of hiding this knowledge from your pre time travel self as you do'nt remember being excrusiatingly rich do you? you could do this by leaving instructions back in the past that you should only be told of your wealth on your Nth birthday (where N is a birthday after you return to the present. On return look forward to your presents with an extra special glee.

9. Don't camoflage the time machine as a telephone box as you'll get all sorts of people wandering in.

10. Enjoy yourself, hell not many people get to arse about with time and space!

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Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

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