The Café

211 Conversations


The Café: Getting Back to "Normal"

Irving Washington is back! Special thanks to everybody who ran the café while Irving had forgotten all his log-in information. It's great that the place is still alive!

Watch this page, as new regulars and new menu items are added! I need to get to know the new regulars, so if any of you think you deserve a mention, go ahead and eMail me personally at [email protected] with the the word "café" in the subject heading!


Espresso Drinks
Name Description
Latté2/3 Steamed Milk, 1/3 Espresso
Cappucino1/3 Espresso, 1/3 Steamed milk, 1/3 Froth
MacchiatoEspresso and Froth, no milk!
MochaThe same as a Latté, but with CHOCOLATE!
Coffee And Tea
Drink Description
House CoffeeA full bodied aromatic blend of beans -- full flavored and delicious!
Coffee SpecialCheck out our ever changing selection!
Café Au LaitYour choice of coffee with steamed milk
Teas, Black and HerbalOur selection of Teas are hand picked and quality garunteed! Some are even MAJIC!
The Asteroid LilMilky Regular Coffee with Sugar, served with an Apple Spice Doughnut -- the favorite breakfast of the h2g2 Café's Resident Artist
Drink Description
Italian SodaYour choice of flavored syrup mixed with soda water. Sweetness to customer's taste. Mixed with cream upon request. Great warm weather drink!
Hot ChocolateCreamy, chocolatey hot chocolate for those cold winter days and nights
The GreeboA cold glass of milk with a straw. Purrfect for the feline in all of us
The UsualThis is about as usual as the Perfectly Normal Beasts are perfectly normal. However, Afgncaap5, Holistic Detective loves 'em. His order goes something like this: Half blueberry italian cream soda with whipped cream on top. The other half, is one third hot chocolatte (which is half hot chocolate, half latte), one third moccha, the last third is one quarter espresso, three fourths blackberry italian cream soda w/whippe cream on top, making that whipped cream somewhere under the middle. Now, in the top half of the drink, is a touch of sugar, and in the bottom half you can see a strawberry. On the surface of the drink is half whipped cream, half kiwis. On the side of that, a freshly baked scone. And a brass band to plays "Ride Of The Valkyries" while I mix in perfect time to the music. If I spill, Afgncaap5 makes me start all over again, because he wants this order to be perfect.
Heaven 42A several layered drink, not as magnificent as "The Usual," but quite devistatingly wonderfull, nonetheless. The layers are as follows:
  • Chocolate milk froth
  • Double shot of espresso mixed with caramel syrup
  • Steamed chocolate milk
  • Milk froth
  • Double shot of espresso
  • Steamed milk
  • Chocolate milk froth
  • Double shot of espresso mixed with chocolate syrup
  • Steamed chocolate milk

WARNING: May have highly improbable effects if consumed by Red Shirted Extras. (Whip cream on request)

The Counter

Step up to The Counter and order a drink!

Flavor of the Month

June: "Majic Forest Blend"

This blend of all organic, all tree grown coffee beans from our very own Majic Forest is not too bold, not too mellow, with exactly the levels of flavor and acidity you're looking for. After all, the beans are Majic!

Here's a list of everyone on staff so far1:

1I don't think I even HAVE staff anymore... must update!

And here are some of our regulars2:

2 This is Seriously Out of Date


Places you should really go, once in a while!

Got a thirst for something a tad... stronger? Wanna spout off about anything at all? Go check out The h2g2 Arms
Rambling Misfit? Go toFrink's Drinks

Have A Seat

What would a Coffee House be without a place to rest and relax?

A "Majic" Forrest!

A fanatical customer who will remain nameless, except to say that he likes oak trees as much or possibly more than the Beatles, threw some genetically altered acorns out my window, and now I have this forrest where magical coffee beans grow, known as Majic Aroma Beans. They're great for just about any kind of mood, they keep you up only as long as you want them to, and they don't eat away at your stomach. So I'm keeping the forrest. Come join me in the woods3

The Poetry Corner

What would a coffee house be without a little verse? This is the place to perform and discuss, from Shakespear to Ginsberg, from Walt Whitman to Sam Hamill, from Ogden Nash to the guy who wrote that outrageously witty rhyme you read on the bathroom stall this morning... Grab a cup of coffee! Sit back and listen, curl up and write, or step up to the microphone and perform. I'm trying to get a jazz band in to add some atmosphere... Click Here

The Book Nook

I know that there are plenty of bookworms out there on H2G2. Most of you have read alot of books by Douglas Adams, and alot of you have read books that range from the famous to the obscure. Our Book Nook started as a little forum, but thanks to Beeblefish it's splintered into it's own page and a column in the H2G2 Post

The Film Group

Hello! Well, I have to admit, though I like movies, and I've seen alot of classics, I'm not exactly the foremost expert on films. But that doesn't matter. This forum is for anyone who knows anything about films and wants to share. Discuss the latest Hollywood Megahit, or the most edgy independent work. Promote your own pet project! All over a cup of wonderfully aromatic coffee. Enjoy! Click Here

World Wide Jam Session!

Did you think I'd try to have a coffee house without some music? Anyone who wants to listen to or play some great tunes, should chech out: The Jam Session

The Jazz Cellar

In the mood for some jazz? Want a place to put on the dark shades and chill out? Need a little blues in your life? Check out the Jazz Cellar, but be ready: you'll need to pass the bouncer first!

Take the Plunge!

Bluebottle Has built a great place for wet fun! What's more, he's arranged for h2g2 Café coffee to be served poolside, so pop on over to the H2G2 Waterworks!

H2G2 Chess

Afgncaap5, Holistic Detective The Aroma Café's resident chess expert, has posted his own H2G2 Chess Club Where h2g2 Café coffee shall be served upon occasion. As his tournaments got their start here, I felt it only fitting that we should sponsor him


I've struck up an agreement with Joanna over at her wonderfull Doughnut Stall! We get a limited selection of fresh Joanna's doughnuts each day. Sorry, no unlimited supply (we wouldn't want people to stop going to Joanna's stall).

Just Wait!

Think of something that every coffee house needs to have that isn't here yet? Don't worry! I'm perfectly willing to update the page to take in your suggestions! I'm always looking for ways to spruce the place up! As I'm so fond of saying, anything you need, just scream at us!

1I don't think I even HAVE staff anymore... must update!2 This is Seriously Out of Date3 Starting May 12, 2000, visit Babel-17 and Asteroid Lil, our Summer Caretakers, to find the most current Majic Forrest Threads

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