h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The Café's old back room has been opened, but apparently the Cleaning Bot's sensors cannot penetrate it's threshold, as the floor is covered in dust, and the cobwebs are quite creepy. Light comes not from the Café's lamps, which seem powerless to penetrate the haze, but rather from a large, gaslight chandelier swinging precariously overhead, and numerous wall mounted gas lamps. [Editor's note: The bar was originally dressed in candlelight, but the author felt a Western feel was more appropriate] The bar itself is being polished by a tall, slender barman in a black, turn of the 20th Century suit, black boots, a bolo tie, and an oversized, crimson Dia de los Muertos mask. His friends call him "Slim," but he doesn't have any friends, so you can call him... the Masque!"*

Large martini please slim ,3 olives , shaken or stirred i'm not fussed .
Morning all .

best fishes......tod

*Begins mixing... at one point looking wistfully at a bottle of Vermouth*

I have to say my prefrence is for quadruple gin , double sweet vermouth , double dry vermouth . Lovely , its what i had when i got in from work yesterday morning .

best fishes.....tod

There is something decadent about drinking cocktails at 9 in the morning

best fishes.tod

G&T please (A76213)

(I shouldn't. I should be ! It's 2:30 am...)

And a vodka gimlet for me.

I'll take a Captain Morgan and Dr. Pepper please.

*enters the bar wearing a bright red dress of 1870's fashion with a small bustle, its decolletage protected from outright indecency by an artful arrangement of black lace. Her hat is black and also sports lace and a few egret feathers dyed black to match, and a black cashmere shawl with extravagant fringe completes the ensemble*

*walking boldly to the counter* Gimme some red wine, big boy.

*Continues to mix and serve drinks, then pulls out an old, dust covered bottle of red wine, uncorks it with a flourish, and slowly pours, er, Isadore, a large glassfull*

That is from my vineyard on my family's land back in Italy. Do drink it with the respect it deserves.

*[Editor's note] Am I right in thinking Napa and Sanoma were'nt producing decent wine back in the 1800s? [Author's note] Ed, can you leave the notes for the DVD commentary? You're getting distracting!*

I can find out about that later from my historian friends.


That's Miz Lilt to you. *tips back the glass and drains it*

That should have been "Sonoma," shouldn't it?

Well, Miz Lilt, I can see you are something of a connosiuer. Would you like to sample a bit from my casque here? It's Amontillado from the old world.

Sherry is for schoolteachers, darlin'. I'll just have another glass of the red wine. *smiles then turns, leaning against the counter, to survey the clientele*

*Witty, incongruously dressed in jeans and a turtleneck sweater, catches Ms Lilt's eye and nods.*

*Thinks about maraschino cherries and a particular rat that hasn't been round these parts in quite some time.*

[Lentilla wonders why Witty's wondering about marachino cherries while looking at Isadore Lilt....]

Bartender, give me a Zombie, please!

Sorry, we're fresh out of undead. But is there a drink you'd like?

[Mog] [who is now orange with black wings instead of white with pink wings] IIEM, give me a triple espresso with an extra shot of espresso, and a shot of espresso on the side (with an extra shot of espresso). And make it strong this time.

IIEM is over in the Cafe. This is bar. Need some Bleach?

"Werewolf?"

"There wolf! There, castle!"

"Why are you talking like that?"

"I thought you wanted to."

Evening all i have brought my lady friend joolsar , she is wearing pink for charity today

best fishes ....tod