The seaside bucket and spade town of Sandown, Isle of Wight is sleeping peacefully, unaware of the terror in its midst. For Dr Beeching has unleashed upon it a Neovenator, a prehistoric flesh-eating monster from the dawn of time the size of an Allosaurus, whose every footstep causes the ground to shake, the waters to quake and puddles to ripple and wibble. Newly awoken from the Cretaceous, the Neovenator's first act is to speak of his unquenching thirst for [Aside: Is this right? Are you sure it isn't supposed to say 'human blood'? Fine, I'll say the line but you're ruining the story. Now where was I?] The Neovenator has awoken with an insatiable, blood-chilling thirst - for a nice pot of tea. What further despicable, nightmarish acts that will haunt you for all eternity await as it presses the button at the Pedestrian Crossing and waits patiently for the man to turn green, allowing it to safely cross the road? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!Why did the dinosaur cross the road? How did it pronounce the word 'scone' - to rhyme with 'cone', 'done' or 'gone'? These and other questions will remain unanswered in next week's horrific instalment of What the Dinosaur.
No humans were harmed, bitten, chewed, swallowed or digested in the making of these drawings, but hopefully we'll have better luck next time.
The Neovenator lived approximately one hundred and twenty five million years ago, but I've rounded it up to sixty million, which has fewer letters and so is easier to write. After all, I've very limited room in the speech bubbles.
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