The Dog House

60 Conversations

Last updated 16th June 2003

smiley - starGreetings and welcome to the Realm of the Dogsmiley - star

Latest News From The Front

smiley - dog 15/06/03 - SARGE IS CURIOSITZED !!!!!!smiley - dog 05/01/03 - Raven joins the ACFsmiley - dog 28/09/02 - Calico Kitty joins the ACFsmiley - dog 07/07/02 - BigDawg and Tweety join the ACFsmiley - cat 01/06/02 - Cats crack ACF secret codes !!!smiley - dog 12/05/02 - Mercenary profiles availablesmiley - dog 06/05/02 - Tuc's memorial consecratedsmiley - dog 30/04/02 - Self Defence pact signed with the Knights of H2G2

Stop Press

In an unexpected turn of events the Cats have cracked an important ACF secret code when they discovered the Headquaters of the Anti Cat Federation Intelligence Agency or ACFIA.

Apollo, the Head of the ACFIA is presently receiving treatment for a bruised ego and hopes to be back in action soon. Full story

The Dog House Tour

You are now in the World famous Dog House.

Outside the Dog House visitors can see the Commemorative Statue to ex-Rambling the first casualty in the Cat War (KIA on 27th August 2001). Close observers will see that the statue has a missing Unowhat.

Inside the Dog House adjacent to the Barracks can be seen the Memorial to Tuc Fortuneswell who was prematurely taken away from the ACF in April 2002. The inscription on the plinth reads "In Memory of a Valiant Comrade". An ACF Honour Guard is in attendance at all times.

Inside the grand entrance hall to the Dog House visitors can see several Trophies adorning the hall including:

  • A slightly singed and battered witches hat from the shooting down of Granny Weatherwax from her Broomstick by a Squadron of Sopwith Pups.
  • Photographs of the ACF Most Wanted Cats. The present sorry collection is :-
smiley - blackcat No 1 - Cat aka Sergeant "Indiana" Mushroomsmiley - blackcat No 2 - soeasilyamusedsmiley - blackcat No 3 - Clipboardsmiley - blackcat No 4 - Saturn Girlsmiley - blackcat No 5 - Strange Genetic Experimentsmiley - blackcat No 75 - Dancer smiley - winkeye
  • The front door from the Cathouse.
  • A picture of Clelba the incredible flying Cat.
  • A replica of the H2G2 Waterworks and Beach Lifeguard Hut.
  • Red Dogs Kitten Pelt coat presented to him by Peregrin.
  • A pile of money in a glass case that was extorted from Captain Venom together with a photo of him looking extremely surprised.
  • A space where the Tiger Skin Trophy Rug used to be before it was stolen by sea at the start of the Cat War.
  • A lovely snap of the Sarge being buried by an assorted pile of Cats, Dogs and rugby players.

Lurking around the place is the semi-resident Cat Clipboard. Many many attempts have been made to rid the Dog House of this creature without success so far. But we all live in hope.

The Dog House is the meeting place for the Dog Pack and the Command Post for the Armed Forces of the Anti-Cat Federation engaged in the Cat War. We're committed to making H2G2 a No Go Zone for Cats.

Feel free to join us in our struggle, browse through the exhibits or feed a bone to any of the ACF Troopers on sentry duty. Keep in touch with the latest news about the Cat War here.

smiley - blackcatsmiley - dogsmiley - dogsmiley - dogsmiley - dogsmiley - dogsmiley - dogsmiley - dogsmiley - ghost

The Cat War

Wanna See Some Action ?

If you'd like to join the war effort on the side of righteousness just fill in the application form below.

1. Type name, rank and serial No here.
2. State desired position in the ACF

Once you have joined feel free to visit our very informative Induction Centre

You may also wish to avail yourself of the ACF Archive which contains historical information on the origins of the Cat war from the first engagements up to the Musehome invasion debacle. The Archive can be found here.

Cat War Sites of Special Interest

Dog FacilitiesThe Scientific Research FacilityInduction CentreNaval HeadquartersFighter CommandThe FleapitThe ACF Country Retreat (formerly the PoW Camp)Feline Foe Profiles Mercenary Profiles The Invasion of the h2g2 Waterworks and BeachThe Cat MenaceThe Curiositizer IThe Curiositizer IIThe Shooting RangeACF ArchiveCat FacilitiesThe CathouseCentre for the Development of Anti-Dog TechnologyCat Induction Centre

Who's Who in the Cat War

The ACF Roll Call of Hero's

These researchers are valiant members of the ACFAbiApolloArtenshiurBeagleBig Bad WerewolfBigDawgBulldawgBusterboneCal FortuneswellCalico KittyCocker OrangeCybercatDaxDoggymadIce Fang (Saturns Daughter)I'm still thinkingKeefKrylma LeaderLurcherMantisMediocredaneMoondawgNexusSevenNineto OkamiNo Time Like NowPeregrinPinnipedRamblingRavenRazorbackXRed DogRedFishRex (aka Sam Page)RoadkillRuff Dogg a.k.a ThogSchizo-DawgSlash.GnrSmilodonSpringle SprangleTuc fortuneswellThe KIDTweetyUncle HeavyVesuvius - SUSPECTED CAT INFILTRATORVulpixWoody

Know Your Enemy

These losers are all Cats or Cat Lovers2legsagcBenAl'XaiArlechinnoBagheeraBagpussBartalflakBig CatBluebottleBobCandiClelbacat ClipboardCloviscatDancerDellaDragonflyelliot the catFallin Space CatFoxxyroxxyGreebo T CatGw7enGranny WeatherwaxInfinityKimotoCatKittyKatMagnolia ThunderpussyMandragora ScrymiddenNight NursePheloxiPhilosopherQueen MabSammySaturn GirlseaSgt "Indiana" Mushroom and GA Cat CleoTallyTefkatToccataYaradovich Kramer et al

Foe Profiles

Up to the minute ACF "know-your-enemy" profiles are now available. The series presently comprises of Feline Foe Profiles and Mercenary Profiles and have been produced by the ever industrious Rambling. More are in production and will be revealed at a later date.

Alliances and Pacts

The ACF is presently allied with or has signed Non-Agression/Mutual Defence pacts with :-


ACF Force Commander Red Dog issued the following morale boosting communique to his troops at the commencement of the Cat War.

Insignia of The Armed Forces of ACF
"Due to War officially breaking out between the h2g2 Cats and the ACF, we have been trying to recruit Allies to our cause. The ACF has been trying to secretly recruit and train an Army for our War against the Cats but unfortunately our cover was blown today by a premature attack on a cat related conversation before our preparations were entirely completed.
As the Cats have now escalated the conflict by building a Defence establishment in the Cathouse the ACF Armed Forces have no choice but to call upon all enemies of the Cats to set up common cause against the cat menace. For your support in the coming conflagration we are prepared to enlist you in our Army, Navy, Airforce or Special Forces Units. Pay is poor and the food is worse but we can offer you a glorious death and heaps of medals for valourous and gallant conduct (suicide bombing missions on Cat HQ will also gain the respect of your comrades in Arms). We urge you to join us today."

Other announcements, updates and official communiques can be found here.

Man's Best Friend

We're "Man's Best Friends" (but the Cats worst enemy) and if you`re a first time visitor it is customary to give us all :-

  • A bone or a chew.
  • A friendly pat on the head.
  • Or throw us a stick if you're feeling particularly energetic.

If you mention the w.a.l.k word we tend to go barking mad for a while so you've been warned.

Generally we don`t Bite (except Moondawg) and surprise, surprise we don`t like cats as a rule (although there are one or two of us who have Cats as friends ..... we don`t talk about this much).

Where You Can Find Us

Canidae tend to stick together (it's a genetic thing) so if you have a Dog-name in h2g2 or you are simply a dog afficianado then you can join us. Just post on the relevent entry below and we'll figure out some way of including you in the pack. If you'd like a specific job let us know.

Dog waiting for your call

There are several of us who are also exhibits in the h2g2 Natural History Museum run by Amy the Ant. You can see all the members of the pack there.

If you're a Dog and you haven't joined the NHM yet then consider it - we really do need you as the Cats have the edge on us at the moment (this is not a good thing). We're waiting to hear from you.

If we're not here in the Dog House you can find the members of the Pack out looking for conversations on Cats and trying to mess them up - it`s called a pack-attack and it's great fun. As members of the Brotherhood of the Dog we are all pledged to fight the Cat Menace - if you know where they are and you'd like to get us involved then just post in the relevent entry below.

Dog Lore

The information on Dog Lore has been moved here.

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