Classified: For Authorized Personel Only

Access code: 15%$!#@! The is in the woodshed smoking Aunt Edna's cookies again.

Entry by Any Unauthorised ca...um, I mean Persons will be severly resented! Besides, we got evil torture devices, so you'd better not look!

*Releases the vicious attack dog, the dreaded Precious the Unspeakable, and arms the Trained Fleas.*

See??? I told you, but, Noooo, you wouldn't listen!

The following operatives are to be approached with caution: Although no longer active as mercenaries, they are still extreemly dangerous

Njan Pephyr; Mercenary Operative, and his fluffy white cat. Leader of the H2G2 Mercenaries,Co-Owner of the Space Farer's Cantina. Protector of Fish.
Krans J. Hopeson; Mercenary Sniper, Galactic outlaw and all-around nice guy ,"Born on Monday, full of Grace" Co-Owner of the Space Farer Cantina (Brother of Diokk) Gone, but not forgotten
Doikk K. Natz; Mercenary, Heavy Support, recently seen lurking at the Space Farer Cantina feeding fish to Njan's cat, Fluffy.(brother of Kranz)
Axe; Technician and Back-up Sniper (And the official Pain In Captian Venom's A*se)
Yowzupman, Demolitions Expert.(Aren't they all?) Currently s.e.a.'s main man

These Mercs are...

These clever, snappily-dressed individuals have been responsible for the dognapping of our glorious Leader, Red Dog,as well as being helpful in our famous, but short-lived Cat Napping of Serg. Mushroom . They have also held at least one dog operative, The Kid in custody.

Dressed in black armor that can morph at their will to assume camoflage or seemingly innocent-looking jeans and tee shirts and can withstand the environment a live volcano, these dangerous individuals wreak a trail of havok and silent distruction, leaving behind them only a puff of smoke and several business cards to mark their passing.

Individual profiles are available below.

Njan; The Leader of the Band

The Kranstinator

Doikk; Master Kidnapper and Lounge Club Act

Yowzupman:Supervillian and Restauranteur

Do not attempt to apprehend without life insurance

no longer found doing nefarious deeds for hire, or hanging out at the (blessed) ex-Mercenaries' War Room. Note: Does this make them the Blessed ex-Mercenaries? This room is booby trapped, and cannot be breached without the utmost caution. The Paper Mache Dragon Trophy is rumored to contain a living dragon, and the floor next to the beat-up couch is rigged. Even the ceilings will kill you.

To make matters more annoying, the entire thing is protected by special Security. Their ship, the Incorrect Catharsis, is a GSV (General Systems Vehicles) with a mind of its own, and little tiny minion avatar thingies that rush around getting in the way of a good firefight and fetching hot milk and virtually anything the mercs want them to. This GVS "mind" is rumored to have a soft spot for baked goods and knitted sweaters, and will generally not allow any type of attack.

Yet.

Captain Venom, no longer with the mercs, is still a dangerous foe. Find his profile here:Captain Venom:" PULL!"