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167 - 4 + 5 / 4 = 42

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

- Douglas Adams


I am Red Dog © - a displaced Scotti formerly living in Perth, Australia (everything you ever wanted to know about the place can be found here courtesy of the industrious EvilRoy), also formerly a resident of Oklahoma which no one has bothered to write about yet as it's too flat and has too many Churches. I'm currently a resident of Aberdeen which is cold and grey (mostly).

So welcome to mykennel - please don't forget to leave me a bone, a chew or give me a friendly pat on the head. I don't bite - unless you are a cat. If you're feeling energetic throw me a stick.

My old uspace is here but here's me in a nutshell wart's n' all ........


Kandinsky, Matisse, Klimt, Edward Hopper.


Natural History Museum, Kensington, London -- Canterbury Catherdral, Kent, UK -- Expiatory Church of the Sagrada Família, Barcelona, Spain -- Lloyds of London, UK -- Kings College, Cambridge, UK -- Hagia Sophia, Istanbul, Turkey -- Falling Waters, Pennsylvania, USA.


Morris 1100 (First car) -- Mini -- Vauxhall VX 4/90 -- Ford Orion Ghia -- Chrysler Alpine -- Peugeot 205 -- Peugeot 205 -- Ford Sierra -- Vauxhall Cavalier -- Ford Fiesta -- Landrover Discovery -- Ford Montego -- Renault Laguna -- Mazda 323 Astina -- Audi A4 Quattro -- Jaguar X-type 2.5L SE (current) -- Shelby Cobra (dream on).


A Night at the Opera, Animal House, Awakenings, Babe, Bananas, Bladerunner, Blazing Saddles, Blues Brothers, Brazil, Casino, Citizen Kane, Dances with Wolves, Dead Poets Society, Dr Strangelove, Duck Soup, Fargo, Fifth Element, Forest Gump, The Full Monty, The General, Groundhog Day, Hellzapoppin, It's a Wonderful Life, Life of Brian, Magnificent Seven, Mars Attacks, M*A*S*H, Men in Black, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Philadelphia, Pulp Fiction, Roger and Me, Schindlers List, The Searchers, Seven Samurai, The Shawshank Redemption, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, A Shot in the Dark, Snatch, Titus Andronicus, Toy Story, Young Frankenstein, The Wild Bunch, Zelig, Zulu, 12 Angry Men.


Tournedos Rossini, Macademia Nut Ice Cream, Okanagan's Pear Cider, Marstons Pedigree, Pasta on the Shore of Lake Maggiori, Yellow Fin Tuna (lightly seared and glazed with a light teriyaki sauce), Yorkshire Pudding, Mince n' Tatties, Roast Parsnips after the first frost, Panna Cotta, Creme Brulee, Bread and Butter Pudding, Curry, Ice Cream Mars Bars, Lindt Chocolate, Port.


My current Favourite story concerns a BBC Commissionaire who towards the end of WWII became immortalised as a result of greeting a tall distinguished looking gentleman one night. The visitor spoke perfect english.

"Good evening, I am the King of Norway, I have to make a broadcast; I think it is in the studio B14."

"Yes, hang on." replied our unknown hero, who then dialed his supervisor to say "Yes, it's reception 'ere. I've got this geezer, says he's ...."

leaning across the desk the Commissionaire instantly acquired legendary status by asking ... "Where d'you say you was King of, mate?"


Golfers, Lift music, Pretentious perfume advertisements, First names that should end with a "y" that end with an "i" instead e.g Danni Minogue, Ronald McDonald, Fast Food, "Ism's" (racism, fanaticism, elitism, chauvanism, feminism, extremism, fascism, breatharianism), Rhinotillexomania, Prejudice, Censorship, Golfers (well worth two mentions).


The Gettysburg Address - Abraham Lincoln, November 1863; Inauguration Speech - John Fitzgerald Kennedy, January 1961; U.S Declaration of Independence - Thomas Jefferson and others July 1776; Declaration of Arbroath, Bernard de Linton, Abbot of Arbroath and Chancellor of Scotland, 1320; Address to the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom - Martin Luther King, August 1963.


Douglas Adams, W H Auden, Bill Bryson, C S Forester (if only for "Death to the French"), Michael Moore, John Julius Norwich, P J O'Rourke, Terry Pratchett, William Shakespeare.


"Bohemian Like You" Dandy Warhols -- "Ray of Light" Madonna -- "Perfect Day" Lou Reed -- "Crazy On You" Heart -- "Starman" Bowie -- "Angel" Robbie Williams -- "Paint it Black" / "Dance With The Devil" Rolling Stones -- "Drummer Boy" Trad Irish Melody -- "Jerusalem" Blake/Parry -- "Scots Wa' Hae" Burns -- "Whisky in the Jar" Thin Lizzy -- "Still the Same" Bob Seger -- "You did it again" Kylie -- "Hero takes a fall" Bangles -- Everything from Les Miserables -- "Up on the Roof / On Broadway" The Drifters -- "Help" The Beatles -- "Burning Love" Elvis Presley -- "Fairytale of New York City" Kirsty McColl and the Pogues -- "Hearts of Oak" - Trad British melody.


Dandy Warhols, Nutz, Powderfinger, Rolling Stones, Rush, UFO, Van Morrison, Pipe Bands, Lightning Seeds, The Clash.


My dog Tilly, my friends, Hootoo, Archery, History, Etymology, Border Collies, Castles.


Cato, Marcus Aurelius, Diocletian, Julian the Apostate, Alfred the Great, Saladin, William Wallace, Edward III, The Black Prince, Henry V, Emperor Constantine IX of Byzantium, Francis of Assisi, William Pitt, William Wilberforce, Albert Prince Consort, F.E Smith, Ghandi, Raoul Wallenberg 'the Hero without a Grave', James Stewart, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Alastair Cooke, Jacob Bronowski, Sandra Day O'Connor, Helen Steel and Dave Morris (McLibel Defendents), Spike Milligan, Ralph Nader, Martin Sheen, Robbie the Pict, Boris Johnson, Robert Brown, John Peel.


Tolerance - Integrity - Justice - Beer - Fun


Darwin Northern Territory, Australia -- Kauai Hawaiian Islands -- Maiden Castle Dorset, UK -- Osaka Castle Osaka, Japan -- The Minic Theatre Cornwall, UK Rotorua North Island, New Zealand -- Galliano Island British Columbia, Canada -- Tallgrass Prairie Reserve Oklahoma, USA -- Vale of the White Horse Oxfordshire, UK -- The Garibaldi Public House Knaphill, Surrey, UK -- My Bed presently Aberdeen, Scotland -- Lightning Storms anywhere -- Raffles Class Singapore Airlines -- Agincourt Northern France -- The Walls of Theodosius, Istanbul, Turkey -- Bedford Falls, somewhere in the USA -- Great Ocean Road Victoria, Australia -- Hamilton Island Whitsunday Islands, Great Barrier Reef, Australia.


  • "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
  • "Never, Never, Never, give up" - Winston Churchill
  • "Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour." - Sir Winston Churchill
  • I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. - Martin Luther King Jr
  • "He hasn't a single redeeming vice" - Oscar Wilde
  • "This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be hurled with great force." - Dorothy Parker
  • "When it's a choice between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before." - Mae West
  • "For as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule. It is not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom and for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself." - From The Declaration of Arbroath.
  • "A people so individual in its genius, so tenacious in love or hate, so captivating in its nobler moods." - F.E. Smith, Earl Of Birkenhead.
  • "I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes." - Richard Nixon
  • "Outside the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." - Mayor Marion Berry
  • "the future will be a better tomorrow" - Dan Quayle


Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Have I Got News For You, Room 101, Between the Lines, Black Books, Voyager, One Foot in The Grave.


Boomerang, Carnelian, Magenta, Justice, Purple, Vacation, Paycheck.


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Red (and a bit grey) Dog

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