Officially The MOST Popular Up-Rising on H2G2 ('Cos Abi said so.)© "I MADE THIS!"
"No, No, No"
NINETY-SEVEN THOUSAND POSTINGS STRONG!!!
The Thingites:'Alte Amplius Absque Cogitatim'
Above, Beyond and Without Reason.
"Bigger than the biggest hippopotamus in the whole zoo...." ~ Captain Zog.
| Sodit || Wimpy || Wibble || Thing || Poets || Doobry ||Dontbry|
The Thingite ManifestoThe aim of this project is seminally to have the day of the week currently referred to as "Thursday" re-designated, "Thing."
Which we think is snappier and has far more character. However, our mission does not cease there. No. The Thingites are campaigning to rename all days of the week.
Sodit: (AKA: Monday)Nothing good ever came from a week that started with a Monday.
To reflect this fact, we propose that the day currently referred to as "Monday" shall henceforth be known as "Sodit." - Drawn from the general sentiment uttered by the populous when the alarm clock goes off and you know you're awake and the whole week is stretching out ahead of you and you have got to get out of bed to meet it.
Wimpy: (AKA: Tuesday)Wimpy was the rotund character who was featured in the Popeye comics. His main function, it seemed, was to regularly ingest a large tray of hamburgers. In the course of the story, if he was ever questioned as to his method of payment, Wimpy would always reply: "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."
Leaving aside the small worry that days of the week are not technically a currency. He would always attempt to pay Tuesdays no matter what day of the week it was supposed to be in the strip or indeed whatever day the comic was actually published on. This was a puzzle to many children and it was here that they first encountered notions of spatial-temporal relations. Added to that the increase in spinach consumption and thus a rise in nutritional standards. In honour of this spectacular feat in education, this day is hereby re-dedicated.
Wibble: (AKA: Wednesday)The middle of the week. Stranded b'twixt the tyranny of Sodit and glory of the Weekend to come. Wednesdays are a torment for the ordinary men and women. So the week's begun, it will all be over soon, you might rationalise; but for the next 24 hours you know you are stuck 2 days from the weekend past and 2 days to go before the next one begins. If you were to compile a list of hideous and horrendous things you can do to break a person's spirit, Who can doubt that Wednesdays would appear right at the very top? That moment, you know the one; right after when you've finished lunch when you know you've still got the afternoon to get through before you can take the bus/tube/car back home. I submit this is cruelty in a more subtle and devious form than something really cruel and really, really devious put together!! To allieviate this burden of despair on the general populous Wednesday is hereby surplanted and re-designated Wibble.
Rejoice for it is frivolous and without logic WIBBLE! Say it with me! WIBBLE! WIBBLE!! WIBBLE!!!
Thing: (AKA: Thursday)" It must be a Thursday - I never could get the hang of Thursdays." said one notable English Gentleman - and neither can we.
The re-designation from which the campaign takes its name. "THING" - think about that word for a moment. Why name a day "Thing?" It suggests an undefinable quality, that is neither the repressing gloom inherent in Sodit, nor the creativeness inspired in Poets or the out-right sillyness exploding from Wibble. It is Other. It is THING. You don't have call out Gourranga to be happy -cry Thing and join us!
Who art twixt Wibble and Poets
Thing be thy name.
Thing Kingdom come
Thing will be done
On Sodit as it is on Dontbry
Lead us not to ignore Thing
And deliver us from Thurs
For Thing is the best
with Wibble, Wimpy and the rest
Just cos it is.
Poets: (AKA: Friday)A phenomenon in its own right. The Thingite Cause recognises the huge beneficial impact of POETS Day upon the general populace and seeks to formalise this arrangment by re-designating the day formally known as Friday, "Poets".
This is a day for winding down and feeling good; preparing for the weekend to start by declaring it to have begun already!
Free to pursue activities of leisure, one's time might be spent being appreciative of clear summer days and kittens, smelling daffodils and 'wandering lonely as a cloud' and so forth. A practical upshot of enshrining this principle of leisure into the week means that the poet in all of us and especially those of a distinctly lyrical nature can get out in the fresh air a bit more, which can only be a good thing.
Doobry: (AKA: Saturday)
"Do or do not do..." said a character named Yoda, in a popular film of the sci-fi genre and thereby deftly putting his stubby green digit on one of the most enduring of metaphysical conundrums: "Why bother?" In fact, why not just give up now and go down the pub?" Doobry is dedicated to doing whatever you want: work, rest or play. Enjoy this day, you've earned it....
Dontbry: (AKA: Sunday)
For doing less of whatever it was you resolved to do the other day but put off doing because it was too much hassle.
THE CAMPAIGN ROSTER
Infcribeth here are the naymef of the brayv, who poffeffed grayt Fortitude and commitment to the caufe in thif year of Our Lord 2001 (around Lunchtime)The 639 -1 Proud Members Of Clan Thing!1. Clive the flying ostrich - Warlord2. acidbath - Grand Visier3. Parrferris - Minister Of Defence (And Occasional Offence)4. Amy - High Priestess Of Thing And General In Charge Of External Affairs5. The Gook - Sir Loin, Master At Arms6. Inkwash - Speaker Of The Underpass7. Shea the Sarcastic - Captain Of The Thingite Guard And Honourary Spork Giver-Outer-er8. HappyDude - Camp Follower9. Bob - (Temporary) Commander Thingite Suicide Squad10. Average Joe - Thingite Tactical Advisor11. M'Alice - Keeper Of The Sacred Ale12. Sad, Mad or Bad - Bearer Of Pennants13. Uncle Heavy - Sergeant Major / Witchfinder14. Lady Elly - Assistant GV/Commander Amazon Division15. Thing - Guardian Of The Sacred Thorn16. St. Redfish - Director: Thingite Intelligence Agency (TIS)17. Jon Quixote - Official Suggestor Of Good Ideas18. Ekki Ekki Ekki - Chieftain Of Clan McThing19. Acolyte Hezher - High Chocolater Pixie20. Minister Of Occasional Tables21. Hiram Abif - Imperial Architect Of All Things Thingy22. Kaz - Resident Deity23. Sir TJ - Royal Protector Of The Thingite Wit And Kight Errant Of The Thingite Cause24. Katie of the Redheads - Donna And Mother25. St Trin - Official Operator (Thingite Legionaire)26. Mr.Mike - Thingite Sandwich Maker27. Sir EvilRoy - Maestro Of The Thingite Orchestra And Knight Errant Of The Thingite Cause28. E G Mel - The Maker Of Small Electric Gadgets29. Queen Alamsy - Thingite Guard Of Smilies30. Ice - Thingite Neuro-Surgeon31. Yeliab - Thingite Engineer32. ABI (!!!) - Captain Of Reconnaissance33. Frankie Roberto - Thingite Propoganda Chief34. Joe AKA Arnia - Head Of R + D For The Thingite War Machine35. Dastardly - Principle Dragoon Of The Thingite Legions36. Busterbone - Warden Of The Pound; Lobber Of dogs37. Cheesestraws - Official Thingite Mascot (Artichoke)38. aka - Head Eater of Cheesecake And D. Pres. For Flicking Rubber Bands39. Dien - Lord-Seneschal (And-Master-Of-Werewolves) For The Court Of Thing40. Annette - Official Chinchilla Trainer41. Pu Dendal-Shrubbery - Head Researcher On Thingite Calendar42! (A horse called) Bazooka Joe And His Amazing Travelling Side Show aka Dave - Magnificent Steed, Bearer Of Thingites And Devourer Of Carrots43. Cyberspook - Grand Inquisitor Of Disgruntled Cat Toys And Lover Of Small, Vicious, Feline Acupuncturists44. J'au-æmne, Princess of Darkness - Thingite Star Gazer And Official Person In Charge Of Making Something Official Looking45. Peregrin - Official Falconer Of The Thingite Legions46. Twinkle - Official Thingite Teleportationist47. Angelecon - Angelic Warrior Creator of Crystalic Weaponry For The Thingite Legions48. Shorty - Tamer/Trainer Of Kremlin49. Phreako - Official Pigeon Trainer50. Tuarinn Chaplin - Minister For General Sillyness51. w85 - Thingite Master Of Ceremonies52. fred_smith - Professor Of Surreal Weaponry53. ephirielX - Resident Thingite Psychologist For All Things Thingy54. Rootitoot - Thingite Trumpet Herald55 -1. Ottox - Official Thingite Nemesis56. Demon Drawer - Adjutant Of The Genuine Irish Thingite Council57. Granny Weatherwax - Matriarch Of The Thingites And Mother In Law From Hell58. Ex-Rambling - Trainer Of The Thingite Monster Moths (Parrot Trooper)59. Ford Focus - Thingite Wizard (And Diviner Of Dark Magics!)60. Thing - Thingite Gat61. Engländer - Thingite Of No Things62. Bluecat7 - Thingite Handler Of Condiments63. fords_prefect - Drinker Of Tea64. Joe - Priest Of Bovine-Related Rituals65. Bina-baby - Wearer Of All Things Purple66. Dr E Vibenstein - Doctor Of Thingism67. Mr Plato (and cat:Cyril) - First Lieutenant of Un-Opened Cans Of Whuppass68. Sulk - Faithful Hound Of Mr Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson, Grand Visier Of Thing69. Dreamchild Warspasam - Minister For Unnecessary Macho Posturing70. lemodog - Captain Of Every Wibble Of The Year71. I'm still thinking - Peerless Master Of The Gunblade72. Sam Wolf, and ob the smiley face - Thingite Alterer Of Calendars73. Infinity - Thingite Grand High Witch74. Pablo ferral - Thingite Distributor Of Bar-Snacks75. Plastic Squirrel - Worrier Of Pigeons76. Tabitca - Official Thingite Cat77. Fred the Badger - Official Thingite Bartender78. Croz T Scout - ThingNet System Administrator79. The Doctor - Head Of Confusion80. St Niwt - Amphibious Warden For The Thingite Asylum (Karnt Spel.)81. kirikugi - Thingite Tea And Chocolate Digestive Server82. March Hare - Commander Of The Thingite Lemmings83. Vidmaster - Warrior Prime Of The Thingite Cause84. Casey - Bomber Squadron Leader85. Luvndaisies - Thingite Sergeant Of Meaningless Numbers86. SnowGoddess169 - Thingite Philosopher And Sorceress87. Bubbles - Wandering Theoretical Mind88. Batty - Thingite Adawehi Of Nuyagi89. Ex Libris Draconium - Official Thingite Librarian And Scaled Beastie90. MaW - Thingite Dance Troupe Choreographer91. Iron Griffin - Soul Forger And Thingite Weapon Smith92. some bloke who tried to think of a short, catchy, pithy name and spent five sleepless nights trying but couldn't think of one - Thingite Poet Of Doom!!! And Fluffy Bunnies93. FABT - Commander In Chief Of Twiglets And Special Operations94. Mookie - Thingite Arbiter Of Infinite Wisdom And Justice95. Increase Mathers - Cause Of Awkward Silences In The Court Of Thing96. Captain Zog - Thingite Ambassador To The Little People97. Avenging Washcloth - 1st Lieutenant, Officer In Charge Of Butt-Kicking (And Thingite Athletics Supporter)98. Engels42 - Thingite Minister Of Leaky Ethics And Spiffyness99. Jiffajoffa - Thingite Minister Of Bizzare And Confusing Conversations100! Lifson - Thingite Webmaster101. Cabman Green - Official Thingite Inhaler Of Nasty Exhaust Fumes And Other Noxious Substances102. Strider - High Chair Of The Peoples Front Of Thingies103. Rat - Official Thingite Bloke104. Knifee - Thingite In Charge Of Stuff You Shouldn't Run With105. Dragonfly - Official Unofficial Thingite106. Ernie (formerly Brian) - The Happy Little Elf Who Was Born On A Thing107. Eggy - The Thingite Purple Monkey Dishwasher Fanatic108. Mrs Slartibartfast - Lower-Upper-Middle Management Manager Of Stray Brain Cells And All Things Spazzy109. doreiwolf - Thingite Patron, Defender Of Wibble, Pagan Younger And Official Pooper Scooper110. Smilodon Prefect - Brillo Pad Superintendant Of The Thingite Army111. Iago - Thingite Odd Beast (Of Monty Python Fame)112. Michele - Purveyor Of Oscillating Gyroscopes And Thingite Postmistress General113. Ripper - Veteran Soditite Specialist And Navigator Of High-Speed Inanimate Objects (Including But Not Limited To Walls And Bus Stops)114. Balsac - The Wrinkled Retainer115. Candi - Mistress Of Titters116. Clelba - Spigot Nodulator117. Lady Scott - Thingite Metalurgist And Offical Spork Engraver And Offical Easter Egg Finderouter-er118. Sergeant Mushroom - Sergeant Mushroom119. Cybermuz - Thingite/L.A.H. Liason Officer120. Carl - Official Undead Zombie Chicken Of Thing (ex partie)121. Leeneh - Bornonthing122. Ba'alzamon - Lord Of The Underworld, And All Things Dark And Slimy123. Yar Kramer - Summary Summoner124. Elle - Thingite Espionage Agent125. Galen - Official Banisher Of Sodit126. One Large Sperm Whale - Oceanic Activities Officer In Charge of Water-Proof Spork Accessories And Shiny Gardening Tools127. TORG - Lord High Slapper Of Wrists and Knitter Of Belly-Button Fluff128. Mr Inertia - Thingite Ponderer Of Laziness And Giver-Outer-er Of Excuses For Being Lazy129. GreyDesk - Official Thingite Spokesperson To/From The Questions Only Thread130. THE KID - Romancer Of The Realm Of The Ridiculous131. Neobrad - Thingite Biro Consultant132. Kaz - Thingite Musical Trivia Anorak And Follower Of Richard Marx-ism133. Mr Legion - Secretary Of Evil For The Thingite Cause134. Fadookie the Froody - The Shah Of Great Boo-hally, Vice President Of The Department Of Vice And Strife, Coveter Of Llamas, Newbie Extraordinaire135. Vicki Chicki - Community Playgroup Leader To The Thingite Clan136. KerrAvon- Thingite In Charge Of Revoltionary Misspelt Graffetttti137. Sir Stu - Thingite Cook138. Sir Culdasac - Master Of The Thingite Monkey Army139. Alex - Thingite Ambassador Of The Irony Of The Smile140. GingerElle - High Empress Of Rich Tea Eating And Curator Of The Official Fruitcake141. Doc Shinryuu - The Great And Powerful Towel Mage142. peter the girl - Thingite Peter Gabriel Namesake And Correspondent To Teddybears And White Mice143. AndyG - Thingite Scanner Of Subterrainean Surfaces144. Yankee Shoes - Chief Subliminator Of Thingite Espionage145. Vroomfindel - Thingite Of Title-Related Indecisiveness And Unofficial Changer Of The Mind146. Pinniped - The Dark-Eyed Nemesis Of Very Nearly All Things Piscine147. NihilistMan - Enforcer Of Good And Righteous Aroma To That Of Your Cheese, The Honourable Crown Duke Of Sillywaddle148. winter rae - Zen Controller Of Strategy And Reconnaisance149. Captain A.J. Rimmer - Deputy, Vice-Minion Maintenance Repairman Of Thingite Stuff150. mezzy5 - Thingite Weather Dragon151. Hyp_huff - Thingite Minnyster Of Educashun152. Jedi Jade and Thras - Patron Punk Jedi153. Typolifi - Grand Nofficer Of The 5th Wibble Taskforce154. Peet - Pedant To The Stars155. Crazy Man - Wearer Of The Crazy Indiana "Who's Yer Daddy?" Pants156. Utter Bewilderment - Thingite Preacher157. Auralyra - Thingite Ambassador To Fools, Keeper Of The Thingite Greenhouse And Official Spurner Of Broccoli158. Beatnik - Relatively Official Minister Of Anything Saturated With Caffeine159. Daro Frink - Sub Personality Of Daro. In Charge Of Co-ordinating The Voices In Your Head160. Redz - Thingitty Thing, The Thing Thing's Sister161. British Bulldog - Extreme Orangutan Of The Dark Side162. Ineffable - The-Gallivanting-Head-Of-The-Past-Events-Of- Somewhere-Or-Another, In Disguise163. ddombrow - Official Thingite Teddy Bear164. RhoMuNuQ - Thingite Link To Psueudophysical Reality165. Amy Pawloski - Thingite Official Mufflewhump Giver-Outerererer ...er...er...166. Tubaman - Official Thingte Kleptomaniac167. Terran - The Gabble-Less, Except On Weekends168. Zok Zimmerman - The Offical Bellhop Of The Thingites And Poobah Of The Way Of The Spork169. RYU - The Lord Of The Light Dragons170. Cybercat - Cleaner Of Strange And Metallic Objects171. Chauncey - The Startled Gazeebo172. The Omniscient One - Guardian Of All Thingite Knowledge And Wisdom173. Ralph the Wonder Llama, Supreme Commander Of All Killer Llamas174. Darth Zaphod-Incurably Disgruntled Shaver Of Hairy Dragons175a. Narapoia - Life President Of The Good Intentions Club (Hades Branch)176. Oberon2001 - Holder Of The Royal Knickers, Low-Lord Chicken Soup Jump-Start Mechanic177. Rajimom - Duchess Of Sodit178. Z Phantom - Bringer Of Boring And Dull Books179. quid animus esse - The Unmentionable Is Almost Here And It Makes Me Want To Cry, Dear Thingites, Please Go To This A857937 And You'll Know The Reason Why180. Zhora - Lover Of Sailors And Mountaineers, Purveyor Of Tea And Shortbread To The Thingite Army, Holder Of An Emergency Can Of Irn Bru181. JustAnotherNumber - Lord High Praetor Of Thingite-ica182. Mr Blue Sky - Thingite Official Window Opener And Part-Time Caretaker183. finnjim - THE Teacher Of The Thingite Clan184. Emmi - Thingite Official Origami Crane Maker185. Nastykoala - Grand Thingite Master And Cause Of Chemistry Lab Fiascos186. Wuytvandriver - Head Of Insanely Fast Driving187. Blood Angel - Thingus The Thingite Crusader188. Jedi Apprentice - Very Depressed Thingite189. Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm From Betelgeuse - Executive Director Of The "Life B4 Thingite-ism" Rehabilitation Center (Where We Help You Shed All Those Old Mundane Worrisome Insipid Main-Stream Habits With A Minimum Of Electro-Shock Therapy), And Holder Of The Keys To The Loo190. Nerissa - The Wise Yet Stupid, Of The Epicentre Of Psychotic Rumblings And Australian Ambassador For The Irradication Of Th****days And Eventual Complete Cessation Of Work191. Zantic - Evil Scientist In Training192. Schroedinger's Irate Absinthe Cat - Thingite Emperor Of The Poo People, Scourge Of The Nephilim And Master Of The Kitty Kat Mojo Mosque193. Miss Revett - Spineripper Magnificent, And Person In Charge Of Torturing Those Who Oppose The Thingite Cause With Pantyhose194. ApparÏtÏon - Haunter Of The Dark Places In The Halls Of The Thingite Castle195. Mystrunner - Assassin196. Daniel Anthony - Thingite Minister Of Covert Tactics197. Count Zero - MosquitoFinder Pursuivant And Straightener Of Phone Cords198. Ranmafreak - Lord High Minister In Charge Of Standing Around And Looking Generally Confused For Some Odd Reason199. ecw4life - Barry, The Third Viscount (Biscuit) Of Dudleyville200! Buzz Lightyear - Admiral Carpe Diem201. Rt. Rev. Lesley Gentle - CEO Of Tandy And Direct Link To God202. Snill (One of the Little People) - Master Of French-Horn Playing Turtles And The Main Shoelace Tier Of Shoelaces On Shoe203. Zscteaoufph - Vice Grand High Poobah Of The Thingites Of Estonia Faction204. Atari - The Great Master Of Large Inflated Sporks205. Mozzerella - Officer In Charge Of Hopelessly Complex Devices206. Noggin the Nog - Secretary Of Stoat And Chief Weasel207. Santa - Santa Claus208. Jade - Official Hoarder Of Specially Trained Cats For The Thingite Armada209. Euan - Honourable Thingite Boffin210. Falstaff- Earl Marshal To The Thingite Cause211. Queegle - Keeper Of The Evil Thingite Avon Lady Army And Mary Poppins's Bag Of Darkness212. Deadelvis - The Holder Of The Chamber Of Extreme Sillyness213. Jeff Mutton - In Charge Of Anne Robinson Facemasks And Stuffed Olives214. Bryson - Chief-Assistant-Senior-Vice-Deputy-Corporal215. AR Fuller - Thingite Lemon Slicer And Official Helper-outer-er To The official Thingite Bartender216. Lee - High Priestess In The Order Of The Silver Spork217. Schrödinger's Cat-Flap - Thingite Master Of Tentacle Waving, Deep-Sea Cricket And Similar Sports218. Hushpaw - The Wolf219. Bix - Thingite Grand Exalted Advisutron To The High Tier220. Farlander - Quackspert Of Things That Go Blastedly Missing On Sodit Mornings221. Intrepidcat- The Grand Queen Pixy Of The Slightly Ovoid Table222. Wired Kenny - Coffee Meister Of The Highlands223. Deus Ex Machina - Thingite Of The 42K Post And A Great Deal of Shame Associated With It (Not Being Allowed To Leave!)224. Masuud O'Flarity - Discount Fortune Teller225. Viojen - Official Spork Polisher226. Nylarthotep - Lord Of The Ever-Expanding Sea Of Human Ignorance And Stupidity And The Exclamation "What Do You Mean You've Never Seen The Ken Clean-Air-System Sketch? It's A Bloody Classic!!!"227. D'Tan - Thingite In Charge Of Sporks Used In Electrical Engineering Applications228. A Leg - Spearheading The Kampain For Days To Be Spelt Rite229. Aries - Guard Of The Space/Time Continuum And Member Of The Fellowship Of The Thing230. Reefgirl - Thingite Librarian231. nighthoover - The Guy Who Changes All The Lightbulbs232. alien747 - Head Gardener And Minister For Interplanetary Exchange Of Psychoactive Matter, Thoughts, Sounds, Vapor, Lights, Ideas And Any Form Of Energy To Enhance The Ability To Build Symbolic Machines233. Just Justin - Just Zis Guy, You Know?234. Shake - Assistant Guardian Of The Space-Time Continuum235. His Supreme Holiness Brendan I - Pope And Patriarch Of North America, Bishop Of Arizona, Metropolitan Of Phoenix And The Valley Of The Sun236. Jodan - Head Miner Of 42 For The Edited Guide237. Sir Mort - Of The Lunar Eclipse238. JustMe - Minister Of Cheese239. Jodan - Madpea - Thingite Flying Person240. Alkland - Keeper Of Silly Hats & Powerful Overlord (In A Nice Way) Of The Chesterfield Thingite Division241. Andrew 2.5 - Ruler Of All Things Purple And Master Of All Superlative Adjectives Except Bluest242. Hobart - Official Thingite Hornswoggler243. Fish - Curser Of The Thingite Abusers Things244. Me - He, Who, While Attempting Not To Become A Suburban Sufferer Of Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, Didn't Not Fail To Star In His Very Own Semiautobiographical Fish245. Renee6612 - Archivist of Insignificant Minutiae246. Bobo247. Dragantha The Golden Dragon - The Queen Kri`sey Druak Her 1st Knight And Protector248. Hyatir - Most High And Noble Sultan Of The Weasel Korps, Holder Of The Golden Spoon, And Supplier Of The Overstuffed Hamsticks249. Rt.Hon.Marklar - All Round Jolly Chap (My Lonely Heart) Devilfish-Mcginty250. Draven - Master Of Random Blowtorch Activities251. Lord Goosberry D'Fez - Grand Chyampion Fez Wearer, Defender Of The Cape252. misha_franklin - The Carefree Twit253. Daraline - Holder Of Profound Ignorance And Uneaten Marmite Sandwiches254. Html works - Thingite Headsman255. badger2099 - Lord Archancellor Badger, Cleaner Of The Mystic Scrolls, Duster Of The Ancient Grimoires, General Odd-Job Man At The Local Magical Library256. Takitomouse - Purveyor Of Spoons, Cakes And Slight Temporal Disturbances (With Widget)257. Badger B - The Lord High Thingite Archivist258. Zero Cool - Kitten From Pike y 82259. Arwen - 1/3 Of Multiminded Entity: Bartok The Bat, Veggie, Hippy, Other Things Ending In Eeee And Very, Very Poor Student260. Les - Sole Representative Of The Manifestations Of The One True Tigger (boing)261. Eris - Thingite Goddess (And The 1st Thingite Baby!!!)262. His Divine Shadow - Thingite Commander Of A Brigade Of Kilted Scotsmen263. Agent 1-3: High Priestess Of The Cult Of Ernie, Chieftain Of Laziali, And Professional Devotee Of The Sunshine Of Goldilocks264. Astroboy 69 - Aardvark Mutineer: Abscoder With Heraldic Ants Of Thingdom265. PenGwen - Benevolent Tyrant, Of Hebetude And Vivacity; Keeper Of The Useless Book Of Wonder Knowledge (Was The Wonder Book Of Useless Knowledge, But Then It Became Totally Useless)266. turvy - Honourable Gatekeeper Of The Barrier On The Underpass Car Park267. Eric- The Other, Other White Meat268. Dr Anthea - Thingite Psychiatrist269. 2legs - Thingite Randomness Regulator270. Denno - Thingite Calender Relabelling And Co-ordination Specialist271. big rich - Official Stirrer Of Other Men's Tea And The Reason 90% Of Thingites Get Divorced Correspondant To Seedy Bars And Cupboards Throughout The Lands Of The Thingites272. Flynn - General Secretary For The Ministry Of Stuff That No Other Ministry Wants To Take Charge Of, E.g. Rechargeable Batteries and Pooh Sticks Champion273. Maximus Decimus Meridius - General Of The Armies Of The Spork274. Advocatus Diaboli - Supreme Generalissimo Of The Thingite Regiment Of Cowards275. Tippsy - Oh What Now!276. Alison - Executive Of The High Flyers277. Whoever - Baron Of The Lower Prophecies278. Mullet - Protector Of The Palladium Spork And Master Of Pi279. PETA - Temporary Visitor To The Thingite Clan (With Dan)280. Tacsatduck - Sgt. Who Isn't Anywhere Near 50 But Gets Mistaken For It, In Charge Of Finding Women For Zak The Duck, While At The Same Time Saying YYYYAAAAYYYY Really Loud Like A Yeti With A Harmonica In The Key Of G, Adder Of Numbers To Equal 42, Loser Of Cameras, Enemy Of The Evil Sheep, Drinker Of (stout, ale, stiffdrink, Or Just Whatever Is Free), Jumper Outer Of Almost Perfectly Good Airplanes, Haver Of Sparkly Eyes, Doer Of Manly Cross-stitching, Corruptor Of Youth And Just About Everyone Else, Miss Speller Of Words, And All Around Delicate Flower (Who Plays Prop)281. skittledog - Defender Of The Letter 'S'282. Natai - Pizza Orderer Extraodinaire283. Happysuggs - Retainer Of Useless Information For Good Of Thing-Kind284. ismarah - Official Thingy Translater285. Evil One - Not Really Evil Anti Thingism Thingite In Charge Of Creating Havoc In Thingite Threads By Constantly Uttering Blasphemous Day Names And Claiming Not To Be A Thingite286. Gaia - By Divine Right Keeper Of The Randomness Breeding Grounds, Master Eye-Roller, And Queen Of The Eccentric Planet287. Semiquaver and Pentameter - Vaguely Official Thingite Jekyll And Hyde Parody288. Farrago - Official Thingite Towel Herder289. Kiro Yukai - High Protector Of Jones Soda Bottlecaps And All Other Modern Prophecy290. HarpoNotMarx - Pedantic Surrealist291. Phoenix Ravenflame - Grand High Sheltie Goddess, Matriarch Of The Ravenflame Gypsy Clan, Leader Of The Sorority Of The Llama, And Best Friend Of The Leprechan Paddy O'Furniture292. Tu Gifalis - Director And Overseer Of Gummy Bear Torture293. Alex Moore - The Overseeing Magistrate Of The Great Eastern Nuclear Lima Bean Factory294. Drekenloka - Who Doesn't Always Fully Complete His295. b9nr515 - Grand Master Of All Things Only Existent In Somebody's Head296. What is rule one? - Minister Of The First Rule297. Kreetch Kreetchius - Master Of Belly Button Fluff And Twisting To The Eventual Aim Of Having Enough To Knit A Small Jumper298. Phoenix - Mostly-Minister Of Defense Against Slug-Tongues And Minor Deity Of Unlikely Travel/Thoughtless Adventure299. Wonko the (In)Sane - Scribe And Scroll Guardian300! AK nonexistent - Thingite Head Lumberjack301. Dr Fishboy - The Great Mega Wobble Of Thingy302. Nicole - Thingite Teacher303. Lampost_of_the_Babblefishes - Arula-Protector Of The Invisible Spatula People304. Marsinta Drewbish - Controller Of Haywire Robots305. Skullock - The Evil Janitor Of The BoE306. Jonson - Thingite Serf Of The Weird Initiative Rhinos307. Cinnamon spider - Luminescent Devotee Of Musical Brilliance, Charismatic Enigma And All Things Type Four308. Pope Pygmy Marmoset - High Priestess Of Paisley, Episkopos Of Thee Cabal Of Our Lady Of Thee Startlingly Obvious, Founder/Director Of The Scientific Paisley Institute, Giver Of Obtuse Titles, POEE Chaplain, Werret309. Rissa - The Most Revered Lady ShoeShine, President Of The Association For The Prevention Of Boots Being Covered In Mouse, Frog, Hedgehog Or Other Small Animal Guts And Healer Of Those Addicted To The Shift Key!310. Filburt - Official Thingite Treasurer Of The Turtles311. MadFiddler2 - aka Scuttlemouse - Official Scrap-Searcher And Scavenger For The Thingite Cause312. Davski - Head Of Thingite Cheese Awareness Campaign313. Nick - Thingite Dance Commander Who Cannot Dance314. Erklehammerdrat - PR Rep Of The Gibbering Chimps315. explodingboy316 - Eternal Kamakaziest Of The Thingites316. Workspin (English) - The Maker Of The Pangalacticgargleblaster On Thingy Nights317. Yersinia Rory Borealis - The Exalted Morbid Master Of The Red Rodeo And Official Veen Orphan318. Spider - Minister For Things That Hide In The Corner Of Your Room And Keep You Awake At 4am319. Stu, That Silly Clanger - Supreme Lord, Master And Commander Of The Legion Of Thingite Clangers320. Tacysa - The Tapdancing Turkey Taker321. Ballisticsheep - The Indomitable Rubber Pot Plant322. Greven Il-Vec - God Of Rice323. Silver Moonlight - Offical Thingite Turkey Ninja324. Spike - The Universal Towel Warmer, One Size Only: Extra Large325. Able-seaman Matt - Duke Of Tangerine Consumption And High Priest Of Cleaning Ferrets With Very Small Brushes326. Researcher Squangos - Cleaner Of Things That Clean, Dirtier Of Things That Clean That Have Been Cleaned, And Doer Of Other Jobs Which Similarly Contradict Each Other, Letting Him Get Double Pay 'Till The Ends Of Time (Or At Least Until I Own Everything, Natch)327. Sachiel - Angel of Thing328. Wekaman - He Who Likes Shiny Things And Loud Music329. Matt, the inflatable ferret - The Scrubber Of Ferrets Using Self-Defeatingly Small Brushes330. Frogglette, Tree dweller taking over the world - Commander Of Jiggery-Pokery And Long Distance Phone Calls331. selkie - just selkie332. Werm86 - The Leader Of The Worms And The Werms (And All Derivitaves Of The Name Worm) And The Werm/Worm Clan Supports You!333. The Sweety Munster - Collector And Eater Of The Thingite Sweeties334. She who shall be obeyed - Gin Empress And Bulgakov Lover335. Emperor Jacob I - Inventor, Owner, And Operator Of The Magical Thingite Time Machine336. The Beast337. Eggledina338. TheDirtyVicar - Chaplain To The Outcast And Disenfrachised339. Hermi the Cat - Thingite Feline Relaxation Therapist340. GodBen - The God Of Doors, Eunuchs And Cardealerships341. Marvin - Young, American, And Hopelessly Depressed342. Twig the pale343. Yosarian - Slayer Of Peckish Chickens And Thrower Of Alarm Clocks344. Cliche - The Observer345. Feuille - the Un-Do-Able, Un-Are-Able, Un-Speak-Able And Generally Un-Think-Able, And Over-User Of Hy-phens346. Cat-Eyes - The Lordest High Admiralest Of Hurting Herself And Being A Blind Cripple And Smart-Ass With Incessant Talking347. Juliana - Gatekeeper, Keykeeper, Coffee-And-Bacon-Sandwich Provider348. AlsieBoo - Resident Twister Of Words, Fingers, Backs And All Other Major Limbs349. Ted - (comments randomly and furiously on topics he doesn't have the time or intelligence to understand), The Cynic350. Orion - Chief Calculator Of Temperol Dynamics And Moon Moaner351. Spectre - Thingite Lurker Of Dark Places352. The Waylander - Assassin Of The 'T' Word353. Beetie - Dejected Flying Saucepan354. alphabet_soup - Lord, Master And Equal Opportunities Employer355. OrangeMonk - Director Of Thingite Initiatives (Western Hemisphere)356. redpeckhamthegrate357. Gag Halfrunt - Biscuit Quality Control358. Cyrano - Lord Of The Empire, God King Of Time, Guardian Of The Continuum359. Svlad Cjellii - High Lord And Chancellor Of The Noble Knights Who Do So Sayeth The Very Splendid And Worthwhile Name Of Nee360. chronicle - SupremeUltimate And Verylastword Of The Negotiated Dress Code361. no_deep_thought - "Who Strangled A Person Whom Wanted Thursday To Stay As Thursday, He Survived Though And I Still Want My Hands On Any Non-Thingite And I May Not Kill Them But At Least Make Them Believe" The Lord Of Centaurs And E-Mail Junk Mail!362. Asprin - The Minister For DRUGS!363. debloich - Pocket Jeesus - The Lazer-Eyed Pocket Defender364. Why_hello - Sooth-Sayer Of Confusing And Pointless Things365. Forty_Two - The Royal Lady Of Rizzardini366. DancingBuddha - From The Ears Of Periwinkle Broadband - Unthingable And Unthung ... I Will Wax Eloquent Herein367. Duncan - Lord High Dragon Rider Of The Mounted Thingite Legions, And Official Brewer Of The Much Vaunted Thingite Coffee368. Graywolf22 - Nick - Overseer Of Oyster Production And Lord Of The Fried Fish Pants369. neogiegue - Headmaster, CEO, And Superviser Of The Committee Committed To Making Sure Nothing Gets Done370. TurboNed - INTRODUCING: "His ___ness, The Wimzerfrap TurboNed" Where The "___" May Be Replaced By Any Word That One Feels Is Applicable371. The Lemon Tea Strainer - Namer of - Up Until Recently - Nameless, Yet Important Items372. Bill - Official Thingite Alchemist of Mass Proportions373. thefluffysardine - The One With The Fluff 374. Pierce the Pirate - Sole Protector Of The One Master Key To The Chastity Belts Of All Female Thingites (You Know: One Key To Rule Them All, One Key To Bind Them And All That?)375. Martiansoup - Overlord Of Fondues And All Things Cheesy (Except Jokes)376. The Rev Jack Russell - The right reverend Jack russell377. Damien Yukai - Poet Laureate Of Clan Thingite And Official Penguin Chaser378. Researcher 232850 - The Devourer Of Men379. Taamyu The Confused380. Random Kiwi - Leader Of The Great Potato Revolution And To A Lesser Extent The Chips/Crisps Argument381. Mad - The Unquestioned Mistress Of The Small Pieces Of Half Disintegrated Broccoli In The Compost Heap. Also The Mistress Of Spurple (A New Variation To Purple)382. The Ultimate Foot Of The Watermelon Toes383. manson_rocks - Crushed Coke Can384. bullet_proof - I HATE TH(bleep)DAYS385. Uncle Bob386. Brother Orangetrousers - Keeper Of The Bad Smells387. Melody - Musical Thingite And Owner Of Out-Of-Tune Musical Notes!388. Watermusic - Mistress Of The Pack Of Thingite Jack Russell Terrors (With Teeth)389. Almighty-Sokar - Misstwix Of The Firey, Red Planet (Mars) Of Chocolate. Apprentice Thingite Speaker Of Truth. Countess Of Flaws And Claws. Supervisor Of The Construction Of Great Things, And God's Left Big Toe390. amazing_ralph - Cres-Purveyor Of All Things That Are Small, Brown And Squelchy391. Luthiena - aka: Gerald Monarch Of The Giant Purple Mushroom People392. Zimoon Master Of Extreme Custom Solutions393. Matthew the Raven - Doyen Of Dontbry394. (smooch)(loveblush)(cheers)(ok)(hug) (tongueout)(choc)(cake)(tea)(tea)(tea)(bubbly)(ale) (winkeye)(ale)(ale)(ale)(ale)(ale)(ok)(ale)(kiss) (smiley)(biggrin)(laugh)(sadface) Lord Ploder, Ruler Of The Extreme West And High Emperer Of Thingy-Land, Son Of Packely, The High King Of Rockely395. lapetitegecko - ickle thing396. Tarast - Head Bovine Trebuchet Trainer397. Fool of a Tiff - Purveyor Of Linty Goodness398. Trin Tragula - Curator Of The Index399. Sir Oakie de Luna - Thingite Minister Of Non-Concentric Mud Art400! Snackboy - Legenday Understatement401. DarkMaterials - The Officer Of Smells Of An Unknown Origin402. Lil - New Nurse To The Thingite Doctor403. The Steve - Drowner Of Fish404. Toastntea - Leader Of The Movement For The Conservation Of Jirakkarakkas405. Spiffy - Thingite Head Of Medical Support In Case Of Risky Outdoors Operations406. Steve - Commander Of The Fluff407. Terribly Irreverent Reverend408. David - Thingite Director General Of Tea409. Flix - Lighting Technician Of The Dimly Lit Rooms Where Shady People Mumble Conspiratorially410. Ryan - 1st Thingite Sprog411. DarkElf - Thingite Of Doomliness And Other Assorted Misguided Doings412. Gadarene (adjective)413. Fllrbny - Head Of Cheese414. The_Dark_Evil_One - The Big Purple One415. Mustard Seed - Pincher Of Peanuts And Pints416. Severa - Sacred Guardian Of All Things Squishy417. Gargaluga - Head Of The Committee To Ensure The Logicality And Practicality Of All Important And Necessary Ventures Decided Upon By The Committee Of Deciding Upon Important and Necessary Ventures Which are Impractical and Illogical418. Lostit - Instigator Of The Choas For The Thingites419. Big Bad Brielle McKale - Kingpin In Charge Of Divisional Operations At The BOE420. Duncan - Piper At The Gates Of Dawn421. ENOHA - Lord Left Right Out. Leader Of The Lost.422. T-swizzle - Inventor Of Those Things That Go Beep423. Lil Grimmy - Minister Of Silly Walk424. Northern_Rebellion - Commander Of All Foul Creatures With Big, Nasty, Pointy Teeth425. OneInchMan - Lord Of E.ffing The Ineffable426. Calmypal - Minister Of Ministry427. Deaths_domain - Thingite Doppelgänger428. Lord Khamsin - Thingite Protector Of The Credentially Challenged And Thwarter Of Power Gamers429. gcjessica1989 - Not Sirius430. Commander SuperMoo - Grand Duke Of The Cows And Thingite In Charge Of The BBQ Sauce431. Kewi - Bringer Of Spare Socks432. madmonk of wine and wibble - Contemplator Of All Those Little Specky Things You Can Only See In The Sunlight, But Everybody Seems To Think Are NOT Dust433. The Oracle - Knower Of All Things Random And Irrelevant ... And I Get To Sit In A Really Cool Chair Looking Ominous And Mystical...434. Arisztid Lugosi - Lady Of All Things Space Related And Inexplicable435. A Random Person - Thingite Protector Of Putting Useless And Unneccesary Commas Into Sentences For No Apparant Reason436. Lady Sunflower - Official Gatherer Of The Rainbows For Their Own Good, Keeper Of Daydreams, And Dispenser Of No-Ill-Will437. Laura - High Priestess Of Tinned Pineapple Eaten On The Top Of Windy Hills In The Company Of Very Good Friends438. GentletGarble - mechanic.by.day, eliminator.of.all.things.problematic.by.night (also tall and handsome)439. Midnight Ice - The Daughter Of a Cacophony Of Chrysanthemums440. ReabeAlpha - Super Supreme High Ultra Ultimate Lord Of The Machine Manufacture Of Titanium Sporks Or SSHUULMMTS (Can Be Pronounced Shulmts)441. Ceesos - Second Undersecretary To The Thingite Subcommitee On Paperclips And Part-Time Fitness Instructor (Sodits Only)442. The Admiral - Commander-In-Chief Of The Imperial Thingite Navy443. John Coxon - Ambassador Of All Things Thing To The Ignorant Heathens (With Occasional Side Duties Including Sandwich-Making And Fetching Of Cups Of Tea)444. Laudatortemporisacti - Master Of Bizarre Thought, Pizza Eating And General Messing Around445. Fujimar - Brother Of Marmajuke McManarse, Lord Of Things That Don't Go Bump In The Night Like Fish And Cabbage, Squire To Clive, The Not So Evil, Just Misunderstood Hamster446. Kat - Thingite Psychoanalyst447. Sophandros - Minister Of Thaumaturgy And Praeternatural Affairs448. mahargovich - The Right Honourable Member In Charge Of Eating Pies449. The Liquid Warrior - In The Holy Crusade Against The Tee Total Taliban450. mangodesk - Mwahahahahahaha451. Madman42q - The Mad Tea Maker452. Captain LeRue - Handyman453. Fred Zitt454. Laudatortemporisacti - Master Of Bizarre Thought, Pizza Eating And General Messing Around455. The Mayan Templar - Lord "Mumbles" Sin-clair Bjork-Bjork Eclair Jellybowl Of Quiche Lorraine XXXX, Varicosely Peer Of The Jetty-sitters, Holder Of The Heavy Medal Of The Skirmish Of Wholly Gruel, Wobbly-scone Of The House Of yik-yik-yik-yik, Mentioned In The Court Circular Pastry, And Hound456. Ruglots - The Rugged Collector Of Lots Of Rugs457. Sir Paul - The Watcher Of The Pretty Pink Ribbons458. Skankyrich - Executive Dogbody And Keeper Of The Royal Stool459. lucas42 - Unofficial Deputy Assistant Minster Of The Education Of Medium Sized Cucumbers460. Mr Woodpigeon - Ultimate Hornet Of Mystical Proportions461. Phil_Anderson_PI - Official Private Investigator Of The Great And Glorious Thingites, And Keeper Of The Great White Seabadger, Whos True Name Is Hidden From Lesser Mortals But Shall From Henceforth Be Named Steve462. mad boffin - Part Time House Ogre and Homework Enforcer463. Loopy_Cloz - Defender Of Loopiness And Being Random464. Magwitch - I Was Sitting On The Fence But My Bottom Got All Ridgey So I Got Off465. Jlaxite - The Imaginary Swanky Dingo Mobster Who Only Exists On The 22nd Day Of Every Month That Isn't During A Leap Year466. Pazuzo - Prince Of Antarctica467. Dai the Death - Wearer Of The Lethal Long Johns And Holder Of The Morticians Ball468. MysteriousOneWoS - Thingite Well Of Souls469. Allmighty Phil - Ruler Of The Many Mooseapleny From Alpha Centari And Leader Of The MOOSE (Ministry Of Overthrowing Stupid Establishments)470. CaptainNuge - Lord High President Of Stuff, Star Trek And Pocket Lint And General Thurs*** Disliker471. royalleothelion - Royal Guard Of The Kings Potty472. needcaffeine - Rescuer, Slayer, Revolutionary, Guardian Of Justice, Defender Of Crowns, Best Prices Paid For Old Furniture, ps Pram For Sale473. holy_robot - Gratuitous Member474. no_genius - The One They Call The Ponderer Of The Ultimate Question And Income Tax475. Nalsean the Almighty, Minister of Duct Tape and High Voltage, Finder of Keys476. Animal - He Who Is A Thingummie Thingite Thingy Thing To The Wotsit477. Voojajig - Ky, Duke Of Irradiated Gerbils, Senior Assistant Librarian In Charge Of Spork-Related Literature, And All-Around General Cretin And Nincompoop478. Kristian Clarke - Priory Thingite Hero Of Year 6479. Richard Lloyd - Priory Thingite Priest Of Year 5480. Dominic Lennon - Priory Keeper Of Giant Bunnies481. Tasterainbows - Official Taster Of Skittles And Jelly Beans482. Maary - Knower Of Everything, But At The Same Time Nothing483. The Kid - Chief Mechanic Of Air Force 13484. bubba-fretts - Official Thingite Blasphemer485. Hel 2 - Official Thingite Heretic486. dragonqueen - Eternally Free And Forever Untamed - Guardian Of The Other Wind And The Mills That Runs By It487. camarade thingite chupito - Ambassador Of Thingitism In France And Groland488. Cowboy - Karate Cowboy489. Baron Shaggy - Minister Of Nothing In Particular490. Major Basil of The Menobo Amputators - MA HONS (usage of blotcroppers)491. xanthippi - The Nut With The Scythe492. Black Leopard493. First Sergeant Drunky McDrunkdrunk - Head-Basher Of Lockers, Doors, Random Concrete Blocks And Stangers; Covert Warrior Against Inanimate Objects And Lover Of The Female lLoveland YAC494. Jemstone - Psychobunny Of The Apocalypse495. Excelsior - Finder Of Lost Things496. Xavier The Magic Penguin - Not-So-Good-Thinker-Up-Of-Titles497. Belmatt - Guardian Of The String Vest, Wielder Of The Towel Of Terror499. Zeek - Super-Duper-Mega-Secret Thingite Agent 006-1/2 (Or Super-Duper-Mega-Secret Thingite Agent Double-Oh-Six-And-A-Half, If You Prefer) - I'm So Secret Nobody Knows I Exist!500! SayHeyJay - Royal Overseer Of Navigation.. Maps?! We Don't Need No Stinkin Maps!501. lazy-mazie - Thingite Warrior Princess502. Firenze - Fountain Of Random Knowledge503. MadHank - Grand Gamer Greg504. Gekko - Stairs? What Stairs?505. Pie_is_good - Official Thingite Thrower Of Pies And Other Assorted Pastries506. yardwater - Grand Stagnator507. Denicoje - Narrator Of Useless Information And Supreme Guardian Of The Mini Bar508. Senior Gibbon - Chairman Of The Foundation For The Removal Of Nasty Splinters From Orphaned Marsupials509. Elwyn_Centauri - Geat510. Designmonkey - Painter Of Witty Remarks On Bombs511. Nalogg - Absolutely Positively NOT A Top Secret Undercover Thingites Ninja512. Mariella Jujubee - Herder of the Thingite Clan's Overly Enthusiastic Goldfish513. Plugsocket - High Priest Of Acrobatic Action514. Sakamoto_Kaito - Lord Priest Of The Thingite !!!!T!!!! Temple, And Keeper Of The T With The Use Of The WOM And The Spork515. MutePoint - Martin Kemp, Official Gatekeeper To The Fallopian Tubes Of The 12 Virgins Of Wibble, And The Lesser-Administrator Of Cucumber Sandwiches516. A small lumpy creature from Alpha Centauri - Galactic Animal Rescue517. Superbrit - Superus Briterus Thingy518. PlasticFork - Lord High Protector of Plastic Cutlery and Eater of Pasties519. Merrymoon - Spreader Of The Thingite Gospely520. MajorGeneralBrokenRecord - Commander In Chief Of Repeatedly Shouted Repeated Orders521. CuriousHamster - Gatekeeper To The Gazebo Of The Undefined Amphibian Underlord522. Mee 218 - Prime Lord And Guardian Of The Chickens Of Framlingham523. *Chaos*Nicko* - Australian Fish Based Artillery Commander524. Astro-Nomer - Towel Warmer525. Pep - Carrier Of The Sacred Pepper Dispenser, Guardian Of The Sea Salt And Defender Of The Malt Vinegar526. Lady Era - Mistress Of All Things That Are Perfectly Normal But Refuse To Act That Way527. Sharkbait - Official Seamstress To The Thingite Army528. Pattichild - The 'Old' Wibble Of Narniay529. DrFrobischer - Official Abacus Polisher And Haiku Eraser530. Varindweion - Bearer Of The Chocolate-Spangled Banner And Guardian Of The Holy Cacao Tree531. Phredde the Psychologically disturbed penguin from prague (and her atomic friend, Polonium) - Princess Of Warrington532. pinkwrath - Keeper Of The Official Thingite Punching Dummy533. Nelly-Whoop - The Right Honourable Chief Of Planet Raynspuck, Home Of The Chubby-Chubby Grandma People And Hairy Carrots534. 2_headed_dude - moked - Protector Of The Protectors535. Ender - Who Never Votes For, Always Against536. Senor_Onion - The Guy With The Suff And The Onion Thingy And And Ham Oooh!!!! SHINY!!!!! What Was I Talking About? Hmmm I Think I'm Standing In A Onion537. Whamster - Guardian Of All Things Leather538. archShade - Lord Of Dimension 5 And A Half539. florencetheimaginary - Official Protector Of The Small, Rare, Pink, Sparkly Screwdrivers For The Thingites540. baldeagle072 - the music man541. Eddie_sixtimesseven - Avenger Of The Lost Weekends And Vacations542. kyuketsuki - Dave Crowned Prince Of The Amish543. Melodious_Funk Have Spork Will Travel544. Tyashi - Supreme Overlord Of The United Protectorate Territories Of Earth545. Ford Prefect Hates Thurs...Things!546. taz-the-hedgehog - Second Protector Of Monkey The Monkey And Eater Of Pineapples547. ENeerg - aka Whomever - Grand Physicist Hyperbeing Of The Seventh Reich Of The Time-Space Continuum, Commander-In-Chief To The Jugglers, Offical Nuclear Warfare Cowaring Expert, And Assistant Reader Of Meaningless Gibberishf548. Cosmic Llama - Horder Of Coffee Spoons And Miscellaneous Shiny Things549. Kitush - Lady Of The Thingite550. Evad - The Angry And Slightly Benevolent Viking King551. Flying Penguin - Chief Engineer Of Alcohol Fuelled Jet Engines552. Fizzymouse - Grand Guardian Of Interdimensional Portals Known Locally As Air Conditioning Units553. Edchef - Guardian Of All Things Forgotten, Only To Turn Up When Not Needed, But Always A Nice Surprise Though554. Teri_Whoo_77 - Goddess Of Whoo And American Ambassador To The Council Of Thing555. Darth Yogurt - Fear The Power Of The Schwartz! (And My Titanium Lightspork)556. Lord Wolfden The Wolfthingy557. Edchef - Guardian Of All Things Forgotten, Only To Turn Up When Not Needed, But Always A Nice Surprise Though558. Bobbyjoe - Protector Of The Thingite Vending Machine And King Among Men (My Vending Machine Days Are Numbered!)559. deathbychezegrater - Captain Jack Narrows560. Evan Halpine - Janitor And Resident Small Mammal Expert561. Scion234 - Associate Legal Counsel To The Professional Rear Gunnery Football Kabal Of Southwest Beagleton562. Arthurd3nt - The Thing That Crawled From Betelgeuse563. godisaheathen - Minister For Stuff564. Smigg-the-Miserable - Pirate Captain-Rascal Of The Spanish Main565. Jews in Space - Guardian Of All Things Avian566. Samikan - Chief Cutter-Of-Bagels567. Tom - Lord Of The Cybermen568. Lostsoldierthree - Thingite Binman And Knight Of The Dustbin569. Straighttalker - The Pussycat Thingite570. derbyshirelad - Lord Of The High Peak And Grand Thingy Of The Waste And Howling Wilderness571. Brown eyed girl - Empress Of The Jovian Empire Of Paperclips572. cyber squirrel- The Squirrel With Sensitive Teeth573. Suitsat - Grand Keeper Of Cheat Codes, All Time Loser At Hunt The Wocket574. For I Am The Egglicious Master Of All Known And Unknown Filing Cabinets And Lost Staplers (Call Me Phil)575. Spike - The Marquis Of Cranberry576. Navigator Black - The Keeper Of The Pirate Cor577. cosmicdudeman - Minister Of "Certain Substances Of A Certain Nature"578. Fornia aka My_favorite_Fornia579. B'Elana - Applewine Sommelier And Lady Of The Green Sauce580. Rigwoodie Waldgrave - Supreme Victim Of All Kicksey-Winsey Fizgigs581. EvilClaw - Devourer Of Logic582. JohnnyK - Thingite Acolyte, Cleaner Of Sporks, Tracer Of Pixel Cats Who Walks Through MBs583. CoastGuardian - Stubber Of Toes On Logic, Vengeful Cousin Of Fate, And Cadet In Training To Figure Out Why The Number 2 Looks So Funny And Why Pants Are Necessary584. Ensign Phil - Commander Of The Marxist Rabbits Battle Fleet585. MegaChedda - Cheesey Thing Chief586. RoboTwig - Keeper Of The Blessed Turnip And Reaper of the Weak and Puny Th***day (Possessor of The Soap, Friend of the Filthy and the Unclean)587. Bob Stafford - Bob Of The House Of Palindromes, Spork Finder General, Shirereeve Of The Province Of Llamedos588. LlamaHiccupHitchiker - The Prophet Of The Spork589. Towelology- Head Towel Researcher, And Master Fabricator Of Evidence Of Weapons Of Mass Destruction For Whenever We Feel Like Blowing Someone/thing/country Up590. Towel Guy - Thingite Rock591. Plebis - Sayer Of 'Sodit!' And Arch Recruiting Sergeant592. Phaid the Deranged (and silly) - Supreme Commander Of Swauk Creek And All things Blewett593. glamgal30 - Proud Of Th***day Being Called 'Thing'594. Kiwisap - Thrower Of Bananas And Master Of Pineapples595. Hayayfi - Grand Imperial Countess And Keeper Of The Sacred Chalice Of The Seventh House Of Betazoid And Wildflowers/Insects And Other Nature Like Stuff596. Natholie - The Holy Nat: "It Of The Alone And Unaware, Of Grace And All That Is Too [choco]Late"597. Taff Agent of Kaos - Avatar of the Great Blood God Khorne, Raw Kaos Personified598. Lostmonalisa - Captor of Gophers, Cascader of Songs599. Yeoman720 - Official Thingite Submariner and Ambassador to All Things Under the Sea600! Aximili - Welcomer Of The Newly Converted And Feeder Of Boris The Th(bleep)dayite-Eating Spider601. Baron Dastes - The Lord Allmighty, Minister Of Utter Egoism And Things Found Under Rocks602. Prof - He Who Is A Thingummie Thingite Thingy Thing To The Wotsit603. CompromisedSanity - The Hoobit And Otherwise Perfectly Abnormal Being604. Philshillam - Thingite Zaxxazzzoraaax605. Peasan5 - Home Of The Green Alien606. Fordfrombetelguese - Honourary Canadian / Betelguesian, Watch Guard Of The Pipe-Weed Of The South Farthing And Unofficial Distributor Of Huggles607. Kiwisap - Thrower of Bananas and Master of Pineapples608. BlueCrab - Flakey Pastry Baker for the Thingite Army609. Captain Pingu of the USS Penguin610. Unknown Entity - The Bearer of Strange Tidings611. Todaymueller - The Grey Manalishi of the 3 Chord Bash [third class]612. Shiny Person 92 - Head Distributor of Glitter613. Webby - Lover of all Things Bouncy614. Tijerius - of the Inquisition into the Great Sock Conspiracy615. DJ_Bear aka Pigfish - Bearer of all Things Alkymaholic616. Gnarlywood - Vulpine Woodskeeper (who lives in a Cave)617. Lemming the Lemming - Master of the Known Universe and Ruler of the Secret Kingdom of the Fish618. Lady Liadin - Queen of Nerdom619. Alienfromearth - The Thingite Who Reads Stuff620. mobius10 - Managing Director of Tea Brewing (Not the Fruit or Posh Varieties) on Thing and Doobry621. RetroHolo - The Scourge Of Carpathia, The Sorrow Of Moldavia622. kipperonthefloor - Head Scientitst to the Thing623. Acruno - Resident Misanthropist and Naysayer624. Persephone - Leader of the Geeks625. 4me-2me (Please don't 8me) - Beret Without Borders626. Tomodlin - Keeper of the Tripod Which is Incompatable with Modern Cameras and Official Holder of No Non-Modern Cameras627. Sylas Von Drac, the CEO of Nothing, Inc.628. Rowly Birkin - Creator of Non Working Thingite Smileys 629. BookLoverL - The Infiltrator Of Libraries630. mikeyc0312 - Ambassador to Aberystwyth University (especially the Physics Department)631. zaney_the_viper or Gonza, Queen of the Gophers632. Spirea Yucca the 42nd Nobody633. Hobbitsees83 - Holder of Great Things Small634. Jariyan - (un)official Lurker and Secret Thingite Spook, Guardian of 2legs Handcuffs635. The Enabler - The Great and Grand Penguin Overlord, Luthiena the Magnificently Rainbow Coloured636. The Doctor - First Order of Mad Scientist, Wearer of "Pants Of Thrall" and Inventor of Things wot go Bang, Arrgghh and Kerbloowie637. Interestman - The Saluted638. nataluna - Dreamer of Sentient Sandwich Rolls639. Morseman - Major Malcontent (in general but towards Thursdays specifically)Keep your roster up to-date HERE!
- Clive the flying Ostrich, Warlord.
All we ask is that new Thingites dream up a title for themselves - it can be absolutly anything - and the more grandiose and silly you can make then all the better in our opinon.
What do I get if I do?
- An 'official' h2g2 blob to adorn your Personal space with Click Here
Designed by our Resident Genius Shea - who occassionaly moonlights in Real life as a Graphic Designer
- A Regulation Titanium Spork - The Hydra of Kitchen-ware implements - it's like a spoon with the head of a fork.
- Membership of Clan Thing - help forward the cause against the tyranny of the common weekdays through extreme sillyness and a vague work ethic.
- Associate membership of the two (or is it three?) times Team Champions of the Real Life H2G2 meet ups Pub Quiz.
::To sign up to The Thingites - just think of a title for yourself - leave your name and you will be added to the roster eventually.::
O.K - I signed up now what?
CAN YOU FIND THE SECRET HIDDEN MESSAGE ON THE MANIFESTO?
Or why not vist one of our delightful threads? The "No no no!!" thread was originally a thread of protest back in the days when The Manifesto wasn't even fully completed. Naturally the malcontents quickly saw the error of their ways and signed up around post #35.
For Brevity's sake, "No, No, No" is also known as N3 and it is now the main Thingite thread; from whence we generally hang out and occasionally hatch a hare-brained scheme or two. All new applicants should start here - just wander in and say 'hi'.
It is incidentally the longest single conversation on H2G2!!One such hare-brained scheme was a plan to burrow into the H2G2 offices and deliver our manifesto to the (former) Editor of The Guide Mark Moxon, who could exploit his network of contacts and associates at the BBC to disseminate our message across a global media network.
Unfortunately the tunnel collapsed halfway across London; the remaining cavern was remodelled given a slap of paint some hi-end virtual technology and several bags of sand and turned it into a beach.
The Legacy of this ill-advised venture can be found down the second manhole on the left by the newsagents - or you could just click on this link. Certainly the most unique feature of the Uniforms and armouries thread is that, for reasons never satisfactorily explained, it sits astride a rift in the space-time continuum. Which as any passing quantum physicist would tell you means it has very special and unique properties.
The practical upshot of all of this is first of all a healthy and constant supply of passing quantum physicists and secondly the intriguing ability to find absolutly anything on the shelves of the amoury simply by looking. Go there now to request whatever outlandish gear you feel befits your role and to request your Regulation Titanium Spork be brought up from the Vaults.Taking it's cues from S.P.E.C.T.R.E The Thingite firebrands have sought to form their own executive council in charge of "Evil", "General Plotting" and "Mayhem."
Generally abreviated to the B.O.E a place where the term "fiscal policy review" can have very real and very lethal consequences. Imagine, if you dare, the unholy spawn of a union between Victor Frankenstein's Workshop and some Sequined Thing in suspenders recently escaped from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, on roller-skates - and your still not even close.
The Lab is the place for the debauched and the insane and if your not debauched and insane now, you will be by the time they are done with you. It is very much like like the Hotel California - You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.........
Treaties and Allies and Accomplices
All those in favour of over the top ness - Apply within! Had to happen didn't it? We've attracted a sister campaign. There have been others in the past but we feel this one's a go-er. If you feel a hole in your life, specifically a shaped hole, then you are in luck, the SPORKITES are recruiting now....
Night of the Long Knives. An agreeable accord has been struck between Ourselves and the Assassins' Guild.
It is, in our considered estimation, always a good thing to accumulate friends who know which end of the blow-pipe to blow down. Go cross their palms with silver but do ask nicely, there's a good chap.
You're in the army now...
After a brief but excitable war, and for want of a signed treaty, we find ourselves in finer fettle for having declared an armistice and embraced peace, even temporarily, with The Evil Army of H2G2. Follow the Recruitment posters to the Evil Army HQ to complete you move to The Dark Side.
|Official Member of|
The Evil Army of H2G2
|This Membership Has Been Approved|
By The Founding Four
Here Be DragonsWithin these walls lurk mythical creatures of terrible strength and grace. Powerful and mighty foes, but great and loyal allies. The Thingite Clan is proud to draw sporks alongside DragonHouse and the Allied Mythical Creatures Guild. Here be Dragons.Ye have been forewarned.