h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not sure if this should be my real H2G2 name or something new, so I'll suggest an old name that I used back in the days of Newsgroups of Major Malcontent.

Unless it's already taken?

Hi Morseman,

Welcome to the Thingites. I'm sure someone, clive probably, will be along shortly and add you to the list

Your User Number is U14998551

Enjoy yourself!


lil x

Thanks lil, I'm sort of blundering about H2G2 not quite sure where I am or what I'm doing at the moment...

If you found the Thingites, you are very talented at blundering.

Enjoy it! I was permanently lost for about 6 months when I first joined!!!

*lil ties a piece of string to your wrist and the doorknob*

This will help you to find your way home. Take some biscuits in case you get hungry. Shout if you need help, and someone will point you in the right direction

If it becomes too much, just click on 'My Space' and you will be brought back home

Thanks Baron Grim,

I seem to have achieved a degree of expertise at blundering about, I do it a lot in real life as well!

Hummm, .

Oww! Maybe I should not have stood so close to the door?

Anyway, I'll not keep you all from your job of getting Thursday renamed Thing. There's not a lot of time left before tomorrow...

Of to make a cuppa as I've just achieved another 1st on H2G2 for me. My 1st journal entry.

Very much welcome to the Thingites!

However, I'm not sure who will add you to the roster. Clive is warlord emeritus and Shea who used to keep track of the newbies and add them to the roster has not been seen for a while.

Here is your honorary Keep it sharp and well polished always!

Yo! Queenie!

I'll and give clive a poke elsewhere


*notices Morseman tying himself in knots*


*giggles*

Hello Morseman!

I am Clive, founder of The Thingites. I am still around but sort of retired. My network of spies and informants ferried news of your arrival to my secret underground lair within moments. You've done well to come this far, perhaps you are willing to go a little further.

These arthritic fingers can still raise a spork and welcome you to Clan thing.

So repeat after me, I hereby renounce Thursday and all the perfidious* evils it represents.

Hail Thing!

Morseman - Major malcontent (in general but towards Thursdays specifically)

*bangs gabble*

Collect your Regulation Titanium from the armoury. I know it's around here somewhere.

I am, as I said, enjoying my retirement - however I was the first and last of the Warlords, so only I possess the super-secret passwords and know the arcane law and rituals that must be completed for a full fortnight before depressing the "edit" button.

However, I am old so before I pass I will transfer this Codex of Global Thingdom to some willing supplicant, if they are able to complete the Fiendishly difficult Assault Course in one of the lower dungeons of the The Collapsed Ruins of The Strand Underpass.

Here is the key you'll need to get in.

Any takers?


*such a good word, we should use it more often. Underlings take note.

*takes note*


Thank you, Master (salutes)


Hoorah!!

As you were. *salutes*

Ummm.... Where was I?

Down in the dungeons pressing buttons..?

Ah, yes! You may be right


*follows piece of string*

Thank you for the Spork, I've saved it somewhere safe where I should be able to find it again.

I think I used to have a real liff one when I was in the Scouts, but it's somewhere in my garage (or pshed).

Cheers

Is that my piece of string that you are following? If so, it leads to the door handle and I've already clouted myself with that...

Well, this Thing I have been down to a place near Burton on Trent looking at such fascinating things as gas and electricity meters and boilers (new, coal boilers for the replacement of).

I certainly will try to uphold the values of the Thingites and renounce Thurgs... Thuggs... No, I now can't even bring myself to say *that* word.

Happy Thing to you all.

*bumps into Morseman*


Hello! Have I found a shortcut to the Dungeon?


I intended to via General Mayhem's office, but I seem to have misplaced it

Hmm, maybe somewhere in the vincinity of The Collapsed Ruins of the Strand Underpass?

It's creepy down there!