The Battenburg Address

2 Conversations

Two score and Ten postings ago our Feathers (or Clive as he's more commonly known) brought forth on this community a new notion, conceived in sobriety and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great and wholly uncivil war, testing whether that notion or any notion so conceived and so dedicated can long endure1.

We are met on a great battlefield of that war, armed to the teeth with the great smiley - spork of Thingism. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who rocked up, caused a ruckus and then never showed up again, that that notion might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do such a Thing. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hollow this ground - that's saved for the Strand Underpass. The brave Thingites, living and in bed who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or subtract. The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

It is for us the living rather to be desicated here. like coconuts. to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here desicated. Again like coconuts. To the great task remaining before us - that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that Thingite cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these lost shall not have got lost in vain, that this notion under Bob shall have a new birth of freedom, and that
Thingiteness of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.



Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2001 23:28:42 -0000

From: "Trillian's Child"

Subject: Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


For dramatic effect, once more:


O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


TC



Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2001 23:44:54 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


whats wrong with thursdays?


paul "acid bath" lewiston


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Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2001 23:58:44 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Plenty.


Historically, it was the day the earth got blown up for Arthur Dent
but may I voice my own peculiar fear of Thursdays? It is an
entirely rational phobia and one that i have developed only in
the past few days. This is all due to the fact that tomorrow I will
receive last semesters grades. (*TREMBLE*) Further to this point, I
also harbour a long standing desire to develop a campaign to re-name
the hateful Thursday, I will instead re-designate it "Thing".



This will not only break the slavish adherence to the "X" + day format but will also stop the tiny group of people (You know who you are!!) who respond to inquiries of various kinds with "Whenever there is a 'Y' in the day!" or some such rot. Ha! That'll fox 'em!


Clive *maniacal grin smilie*



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 00:22:09 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


ah,i take your point,it's obviously been to long since i read the holy tombe(note to self,dig out hhgttg)on your widder point about "thing" i'm always ready to jump on any passing bandwaggon and should>like to jump on yours,we shall go forward,together,with the avenging sword of justice and the noble shield of truth,until thursday is banned. also good karma for tommorow.


paul "acid bath" lewiston



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 00:29:28 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


A fellow thingite! (I'm open to suggestions for the nickname...)


Forward then bretheren! I shall brandish the holy relics of the
saintly feather duster of Mirth and the 101 Bumper Book of Gags (New
Testament).


*Trots of to preach to the perverted*...sorry, I meant converted!


Clive



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 00:40:54 +0000 (GMT Standard Time)

From: "Pete T"

Subject: Re: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


You have to ask ?

Personally speaking I have to say I never quite got the hang of them.


-------Original Message-------


From: paullewis

Date: 14 February 2001 23:45:01

To: [email protected]


Subject: RE:[h2g2chat] Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


whats wrong with thursdays?


paul "acid bath" lewiston



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 00:44:17 +0000 (GMT Standard Time)

From: "Pete T"

Subject: Re: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Don't know about anybody else, but I'm quite happy to be referred to as 'perverted' after all Happy is a cross dressing clown.



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 00:55:31 +0000


From: paullewis


Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


thingite is excellent! and i congratulat you on your election to party leader,commrade.right,i'm of to bed


paul "acid bath" lewiston




Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 10:27:54 +0800

From: "Feisal"

Subject: Re: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


always thought Tuesdays were worst. obviously mondays suck, wednesdays the middle of the working week so you're halfway there, and thursdays bring anticipation of fridays...


Tuesdays tho..




Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 03:15:10 -0000

From: "Dragonfly"

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Yeah... Tuesdays bore me... they are my one day off of work and
school... but I need a free day... yet... by afternoon(I don't sleep
in... I know... I am weird), I am climbing the walls.




Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 07:34:48 -0000

From: "Trillian's Child"

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


....until they start fondly calling it "thingy".


Thursday was (for some parts of the planet) the day we lost H2G2.


And this is the third one since then.


TC




Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2001 23:41:28 -0800 (PST)

From: Stefka Nikolova

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Hmmm personally I hate Fridays


St




Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 10:38:48 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Why!?!


It's the T-T-T-Thursdays you have to watch out for...


Embrace the Friday!


Better yet, join our small but soon to be great band of idealistic
revoloutionary thingites, you need not hate and fear the Friday once
you realise the true horror of the *~urrgh~* THURSDAY

(*spit, spit*)


Warlord Thingy (Clive)



(*Note to self: Am I taking the cracked despot skit too far?*)



Date: 15 Feb 2001 11:29:14 -0000

From: [email protected]

Subject: New poll for h2g2chat


Enter your vote today! A new poll has been created for the
h2g2chat group:


Thursday to be re-designated "Thing"


Your Opinions Sought...


o Yes! (Viva La Revoloution comerades!)

o No! (I am a ideological sheep.)

o Don't Know! (What Bandwagon?)



To vote, please visit the following web page:


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/h2g2chat/polls


Note: Please do not reply to this message. Poll votes are
not collected via email. To vote, you must go to the Yahoo! Groups
web site listed above.


Thanks!


Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 04:58:40 -0800 (PST)

From: Stefka Nikolova

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Naa ..

Hear a word from an experienced Fri hater - if
something can go wrong, it always does on Friday -
this has been officially confirmed on numerous
ocasions in mine not that long life.


Btw, these grades should be ready by now, so how are
they? *wink*


St



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 14:50:27 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


*splutter of righteous indignation* thats heresy that is!! the punishment for which is flogging by wet stinging nettles (or will be if i get my way wait till his Excellency clive the f/o(warlord) hears of this.


paul "acid bath" lewiston



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 14:29:46 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


excellent-your Excellency... *sweeping bow* your revolutionary zeal is an insperation to us all(both)we must stand firm against these cadre of counter-revolutionarys(tusdayists/fridayist faction)btw,iv'e always wanted to be grand vizir to a despotic warlord hint hint
*exits backwards*


paul "acid bath" lewiston



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 07:16:57 -0800 (PST)

From: Stefka Nikolova

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Oh?

So you think that I might be in trouble?! LOL


Very much doubt it )) just wait til tomorrow - you
know what day it is right? I am not going to say or
write the very name of that contempted day of the
week.


Stef.



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 16:48:19 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


hallo stef,i wonder *big solicitous grin* if you would like to join the thingites


paul "acid bath" lewiston



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 17:12:46 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


Gosh! Well, I'll deal with the good news first. I passed!!!!
Here they are, Reproduced in full:


Moral Philosophy 61 (2:1) = B


Ethics and Society 50 (2:2) = C (But that is the one that swear to God
I thought I had failed utterly, so that's all right!)


Nations and Cultures 65 (Good 2:1) = B


Philosophy of Psychology 68! (V. Good 2:1) = B/A


Philosophy of Science 65 (good 2:1) = B


Right now on to the serious business (*Dons the spikey helmet of
Warlordship*)


Ahem!...


Lord Lewiston, you're dedication to the Revoloution has been noted and is most excellent. We therefore bestow upon thee the honourary title of Most Exhalted Grand Vizer, High Mage and Seer of Sears, Most
Honourable Lieutenant to the Cause of Thing.


Go and preach to the masses brother!


We are in a most clement mood and shall be leinant on the Heretic
Fridayist (I rather like that...) 50 lashings with a wet noodle only.


Begone with you!


Warlord Thingy (Clive)



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 17:17:49 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


Preaching already? Yes. Good, good that's what I like to see


Clive.



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 17:21:25 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


Ahem!...Oh Mr Grand High Vizer etc


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/h2g2chat/surveys?id=553584



Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 19:07:39 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: The Answer! O God not another Thursday - I can't bear it


re:your very good news,total respect is due,and as for psychology 2:1 indeed,my eldest's doing A level psy.and i don't get but 20% of that! god knows what it's like at uni.as regards my enoblement i'm honoured to accept my liege *bow* nt'(sound affect)postus interruptus i'm afraid,my other 'alf has just summoned me to pick her up from her mothers,oh well noblis obliege.ttfn.


Sir acidbath lewiston(gv)



Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2001 06:29:44 -0800 (PST)

From: Stefka Nikolova

Subject: Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


well sounds tempting but what the hell is it??




Stef






--- [email protected] wrote:


hallo stef,i wonder *big solicitous grin* if you would like to join the thingites?


paul "acid bath" lewiston



Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2001 19:07:03 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


Well as official Warlord for the faction of Thingites I guess it's my
job to answer that. The Cult of Thing is a group of die-hard
revolutionaries who belive that Thursday as the name for the fourth
day of the week should be abadonned and are campaigning to have it
re-named "Thing". There are several very good reasons why this is not
a totaly insane proposal (granted in certainly ranks on the
'cranked' end of the sanity scale, but...) We would welcome you're
membership however we note with distress your already declared hatred
of Fridays, we would seek to re-direct this vitriol toward Thursdays
You could start a sister campaign to re-designate friday "foobl-nip"
or Wednesday "Wibble" but the sentiment is clear. The original germ
of the idea that forms the kernel or nugget of our operations can be
found here:


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/h2g2chat/message/2636


And a test of your commitment to the cause, here:


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/h2g2chat/surveys?id=553584


Warlord Thingy (Clive)



Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2001 19:29:56 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


hi clive,sorry your eminance,hi my lord,nice hat!! due to an unalloyed sieries of unthing related disasters i find myself pressed for time,i shall be back tonite,all hail the mighty f/o,now,were's my short sword+1 +5vs builders.....acidbath(GV)



Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2001 21:47:34 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


aarghhhh! i can't access the net from here,i've been disinfranchised,it's Florida all over again.Aaaarghhhh


acidbath(GV)



Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2001 01:37:41 -0000

From: Peet42

Subject: Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


--- In [email protected], "Clive the flying ostrich"
wrote:


> revolutionaries who belive that Thursday as the name for the fourth
> day of the week


Except that the fourth day of the week is Wednesday... Calculations
start from the day after the universe was created (Christian
Mythology) which makes it Sunday(1), Monday(2), Tuesday(3), Wednesday
(4)


The weekends are Saturday(end of week) and Sunday(start of succeeding
week)...


I rest my case; it was getting too heavy to carry.


Peet (Drunk)



Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2001 01:52:29 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


Ah now you see I was working on the basis that the week starts on a
Monday and culminates on the weekend, making Sunday the last day of
the week so Thursday by this reckoning would be the 4th.


Clive (also quite pleasantly sloshed...)



Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2001 02:08:34 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


Owww!(a la frankie howard)you said that word,your cup runneth over indeed,(also drunk)


acidbath(GV)



Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2001 02:18:19 -0000

From: "Clive the flying ostrich"

Subject: RE:Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


suffice to say that IT is the one word that we the knights of Ni
cannot hear, ooh he said IT Now I've said IT, oooh I said IT again...


" # and pissing away and buggering orf and pissing off home and
running away; yes bravely he is throwing in the towel...# "



G'Night


Warlord Thingy (Clive)




Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2001 22:01:51 +0000

From: paullewis

Subject: RE:Re: re:thingites/faction(sorry but it's inexorable)


g'nite clive(warlord)>f/fwd.,20hrs good evnin' clive,hope your hangover has gone,how many pints did you download last>nite? anyhoo,I have been humming that bl00dy monty python song ALL day!(i'd only just stopped whistling the theme tune to bonanza,ask jwf)right,its my turn to make the tea so gota go,be back after clint eastwood film


acidbath(GV)


1Apologies to Mr Lincoln and possibly most of the United States of America...

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