h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Clive!!!!


Beware of what you ask for; you just might get it



TD.

I hope so.

I can't wait to see Moira Stuart introduce the nation to the world with the line:

"These are the headlines at 7.30am on Wibble the 24th of April."

Hmmm...the names of the months are awfully dull. Can we do something about them, too? I mean, if we're chucking the whole Gregorian/Roman system of dating, we may as well go the whole hog. May I suggest June is changed to 'Gloriousleaderlegionallhail'. I feel it rolls off the tongue better.

Hello pastryface. By all means join the committee, if you think you're evil enough. You can even have some peanuts...

*Evil chuckle*

...BUT first, you must pass the initiation...drink this.

*Holds up murky, suspicious bottle of tequila with what appears to be a sausage in it. Sausage twists around, makes a face*

Hehehe. It's deliciously good, honest

Like this you mean?

<./>F63252?thread=125705&skip=0&show=20</.>

*shakes martini shaker*

i've never refused a drink!



the peanuts have an interesting flavour....

....HeeHeeHee....yes.....Mine.







TD.

here's an evil plot:

go to page and visit my website!

yes, spam!!!!!

spam!!!!!!!!

SPAM!!!!!!!!!!

(bet you didn't realise i was so evil!)

Mwahahaha.

Okay so it seems we have some newbies here so let's set them straight...

First off, don't with Clive! He is The Warlord! He is the leader of all things Thingy and the author of the Manifesto. He is a giant among men for he is The Flying Ostrich(with nice mauve feathers). If you mess with him you mess with me! (And incidentally that also means that you would probably be messing with Shea ! And you REALLY don't want to go there! )

Secondly.... Hey look, a minibar...

Warlordship definately has it's perks...

So sayeth the Ostrich!

<----salutes

hello your ostrichship

i hereby propose that we go to some other threads or sites, register lots of new handles and cause as much trouble as possible - profanity, inane political drivel, flames and classic trolls

and custard pie throwing

i have a cookie crusher and a stack of isp cds so banning should not be a problem...

(or has this been suggested before? )

Drawing pins! Spam! You truly are an evil fiend. Have a martini, relax, *don't even think of trying it on with me young scamp I've got all your moves*.

Going back to an earlier scheme; does anyone know who the major calendar manufacturers are? I figure we find the CEO of Calendar Corporation and leave a horse's head in his bed, along with a helpful note suggesting that he make some alterations to his products.

I did something like you've just suggested once, pastryface. I went to a forum on Age of Empires 2, where all the serious 'hard-core' gamers were discussing advanced tactics and wargames. I registered as 'newbie148' and started making incredibly inane contributions to the conversations ('Did anyone know you can get food off the berry bushes?' was my favourite). You'd be amazed at how baffled and infuriated the rest of the posters were - I got some quite rude replies Some people take themselves far too seriously. And they can't spell, either.

We could target the WI and the local Fire Brigade, ask them to boycott any calendars that don't conform; and have you thought of writing to tyre manufacturers

*waves to Clive* mon amour, I see the dye's not washed out yet

actually...



while doing some research for another site that has lax modding and something of a troll problem,

i came across articles about an old newsgroup called alt.syntax.tactical which existed for that very purpouse...

now if you were doing it in good style and not out of malice it may be almost justifiable, but having seen the wreckage caused by these morons (they're not even funny for f%^k's sake!) i think they should be ground into paste and sold as fertilizer...



(getting food of berry bushes is redeemingly witty Mr L)



i once complained to lego (in my mum's name) that one of their displays featuring a wizard with an illumated wand could be confused for a cigarette. the display was dismantled and all the cards featuring it were withdrawn...

hehe!

(then i was wracked with guilt for a month )

Evil Trick #174: Cadbury's are, happily, suckers. Take a Rose sweet (at least that's what we did it with), wreak some convincing havoc on it and send it to the company with a letter detailing how 'shocked, disturbed and saddened' you were to find this defect in your product. When I tried it, they sent a box of Milk Tray, Mars bars and milk chocolate bars, with some vouchers. Jackpot! And it's OK taking advantage of their gullibility, 'cause they're a huge corporation and if they don't recognise that I smashed the sweet in with the butt of a knife they deserve all they get.

Aaahhh...can you smell the evil? Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I lie awake worrying if I am a truly bad person.

No, actually. Not really. I'm quite happy with my morals.

i once wrote to a former employer telling them they were in breach of contract (which technically they were as they'd accepted my resignation before the end of the c) and recieved almost £1000 in un-earned wages . loony left council so i wasn't especially wracked

this is like showing off scars

these pages are secure right?



i think wednesday should be renamed veedensnood, and all months renamed 'martember' as per gogol

famous old student prank goes: student in barbers:

barber, can i buy your pole?

barber: er, ok

student: it's a bit heavy, i'll come back this eve with my pals

gambit then repeated in a few more shops...

that eve students are apprehended by plod - they explain situation, various phone calls are made and eventually it is established that it's ok

2nd group is apprehended and same story, after 3rd group is apprehended plod issue apb: students have paid for poll, leave them be

students take every pole in city

'Like showing off scars'

See this one? If I just twist around...

Would ye believe me own dog did dat to me? Dun't it look like a face?

*Surveys eery, empty boardroom, shivers, hugs self to keep warm*

Come on, there must be someone thinking evil thoughts...are you all on Prozac or something? Remember we have a minibar...

...ini bar

...ni bar

...i bar

...bar

...ar

...r

(Echoes, in case you were wondering)