Mr. Legion - In His Own Words

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Mr Legion" enigmatic loner...
...a troubled genius, misunderstood by his peers...
...the voice of a generation...
...a beacon for the lost youth...
...a wonderful, wonderful person...".

-Mr Legion, on Mr Legion

Useful Conversation Thingy...

From the Moderators

[The previous entry has been removed for reasons of decency. The user, Mr. Legion, has assured us that this kind of behaviour will not happen again, having been advised of our policy on foul ('colourful') language, aggressive posturing, over- use of adjectives and random commas. He has given a guarantee that he will act with restraint in on-line situations, "reining in the beast", as he put it. On consultation with his lawyer, we are satisfied that Mr. Legion is a sane, creative young man who was just never given a chance. You are asked to address him pleasantly and not to provoke him by mentioning the words 'tentacles', 'gentility', 'stark raving little b******' or, indeed, a large chunk of the dictionary. A little consideration goes a long way. Thank you.]

General Custer

H2G2 Storytime

The amazing and improbable saga of secret agents, ancient conspiracies, evil robot clowns, mad monks and cast-iron laundry wringers is hurtling towards its shattering, explosive, apocalyptic and massively overblown climax. Will Rasputin use the Diabolical Engine to pervert the laws of physics? Will the Agency be able to stop the combined forces of the Devil and the US Government? Will Bob ever get off with Jill? Probably not. But who knows; it's all made up on the fly anyway.Follow the POST NEW THREADS HERE link in my conversation menu to find the plot.

The dying pilchard bleeds under a turquoise moon!

Sado-Masochism Corner

Because you've got to make time for what's important to you. This is Simon, and for your viewing pleasure he will be sticking his fingers in that socket until Doomsday.

Don't worry folks, he likes it.

Legal Notes

In reading this you are assenting to hand over material possession of yourself, and all property that you may own, up to and including pets, automobiles, estates, credit cards, any bank accounts, all property deeds and first-born children to Mr Legion, who will put them all to good use, and waiving all right to legal representation now, in the future, in the past, and at any other time that our Harvard-educated team of corporate vultures hasn't thought of. As you read this, a highly advanced virus program is tracking you down using server information (what did you really think cookies were for?), and within ten to fifteen minutes a group of helpful 'heavies' should arrive at your door to escort you to a re-education centre. While you wait, why not talk to a loved one, or make a will?
Witnessed: 1/2/02 by Johnny Cochrane, Attorney.

So, why 'Mr Legion'?

Well, I guess it comes of having a distantly Catholic upbringing. All the good stories remain in your mind long after you've lost your convictions. This particular one is in Mark 5:9. A man living in a graveyard is inhabited by a demon, and is scary, raving and super-strong. So Jesus comes along and orders the foul beings that have possessed this poor man to COME OUT, setting the style for generations of miracle healers. Sure enough, out pops the beastie. "And Jesus asked him, "What is your name?" He replied, "My name is Legion, for we are many." " The demon then totally blows his evil,aloof image by begging to be allowed hang around and possess a big herd of pigs grazing on a hillside nearby (Do pigs graze? Of course they do, it says so in the Good Book). "And the unclean spirits came out and entered the swine; and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea, and were drowned in the sea". This sort of thing is bound to seize any young imagination, and it apparently lingered in my subconscious, only to pop up when, as a bright-eyed and full of hope newbie, I turned to my Preferences for the very first time. And the rest is, if not history, then extremely obvious...

And the 'Mr' part? Well, I hate having to guess what sex people online are when they choose strange names, so I thought I'd help you out.

Meaningless Titles

I've picked up a few here and there, but never bothered putting them in my name. See now how many I can remember...
~ Chairman of the Boardroom of E-vil
~ Thingite Secretary of Evil
~ Three of Twelve
~ Generalissimo Father Of His Country for the Anarchist Liberation Front
~ War Correspondent at the Ultimate World War Zone (unofficial and, indeed, unwanted)
~ Goofball (apparently)
~ Maker of Ignored Suggestions at SHADOW
~ Curmudgeonly Wizard and Guide to the Fellowship of the P*******e (retd.)
~ Ankle Inspector

A Funny Story About Sheep

[We have informed Mr Legion that this is his last chance to conform to the regulations set down in the H2G2 Terms of Use. He has agreed to observe these regulations, and we have agreed not to terminate his account. It is understood that any further transgressions will result in instant expulsion from the Guide and a court order preventing Mr Legion from returning under a new guise. Filth of this kind will not be tolerated.
The Moderators.]
Hello girls

And, since everyone else is doing it...

Quail at my amazing skills of addition, subtraction and YES! even multiplication...

1 + 8(2+3) - 3 + 4 = 42

Maths is fun. Honest, it is.


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Mr. Legion

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