h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i once created a circular link between two bbs:

link in one bb: hey check this out!

goes to: hey look at this! (which goes back to above)

probably been done before...

yes, it's coming to me!

we create a huge circular link-trap (possibly with some branches feeding back into the circle, maybe a few crash-sites etc etc)

with the bait as some amazing piece of news (free internet info, super download, hot singles etc, latest grand unified field theory, whatever)

or lots of pieces of bait sprinkled all over..

:D

what do you think?

I'm not sure the average Joe Sixpack would go for a link to info on a grand unified field theory; otherwise, a perfectly evil plan. Do you know any hackers or virus programmers? We could create a bug that invades PCs and changes the calendar on Windows to the correct Thingite names...

green swirly thing appears in cieling person pops head throgh
another portal opens and somebody shoots the other guy


Here's an idea creat an add banner saying
"You have won £/$/€ worth of software downloads"

and then a link saying

"please visit our mirror site "


Ah hah hah ha hah!
check out the M1€r0$ft site 4 dtails

::: straightens halo :::

all we need do is put banners on our personal pages and link
to FORMAT ALL well not that link to another but make it in flash so that they can't close the window without restarting

EeeeeeeEEEEvvvvviiiiiLLLLLll

Yes dear?

Ahhhh.... there you are; thought you had left town for good.

Nice to see you in bad health

thing in spanish:
Sodit wimpy Wibble Cosa EDMTS Sodit (Empuje De las Man¢anas Tempranas Sábado) Hagabry Nobry
"" French
Poussée wimpy de chose de Sodit Wibble outre de samedi de Tommow tôt
"" German
Sodit wimpy Wibble Sache-Stoß weg von Samstag frühen Tommows
"" Japanese
(i have no idea how the grammer affects this this just being run through babel fish)
Sodit 早いTommow の土曜日を離れたwimpy Wibble の事押し
Spinta wimpy di cosa di Sodit Wibble fuori di sabato del Tommow iniziale
"" korean
Sodit 이른 Tommow's 토요일떨어져 wimpy Wibble 것 강요
"" portugese
Impulso wimpy da coisa de Sodit Wibble fora de sábado de Tommow adiantado
(i have no idea how the grammer affects this this just being run through babel fish)
I don;t even know how the charactert fit in
but: i ran this through babelfish
Sodit wimpy Wibble Thing Push Off Early Tommow's Saturday

http://babelfish.altavista.com/ <--- translator used

it looked a lot more legible in the translater even though i did'nt understand it

Someone knocks at the door; at the press of a button it swings open to reveal someone delivering a letter. The postman does not fit the atmosphere of the room and would normally have left immediately, but he is distracted by the thought of sampling the poisoned mini-bar. Several steps later, he is further distracted by the trapdoor swinging open beneath him.
With the postman out of the way, the letter is retrieved and read:

My apologies for claiming in my request to join the Movement that I aim to conquer the world. I had not yet entered this forum and have only now discovered what stiff opposition I am up against. In order to avoid the possibility of assassination by fellow villains, I shall temporarily dismantle my plans and perhaps even my secret headquarters (at least to the extent of your knowledge).
Slartibartfast II

PS Don't mind the powder in the letter. It's not anthrax (which is below my standards for crazed, devious evilness), so it's either bad dandruff or a subtle, skin-absorbed drug rendering the recipient more vulnerable to my subliminal messages. It might even be both!

PPS By the way, I can provide an excellent maniacal laugh - at least according to myself - if the movement is in need of crazed laughter.(I can do mad scientist style laughs only, not supervillain style or anything else)

Forgot to mention: I would be happy to provide you with subliminal dandruff to use on everyone involved in calendar manufacture.

*enter dark clad figure through secret doorway, who strides evilly toward the mini bar she's not old enough to drink at and fixes a very ,adds a couple drops of cyanide for that special kick, and reclines catlike at a free seat.Darting green eyes around, she speaks*
Evening, evil ones. Though I am a new Thingite in technicality, I have been one for years in actuality. The scourge of the day not to be spoken festers in my very soul. Although I can think of many greatly deviant ways to implement Thingite jargon and philosophy into the general populus, I will contend here and now that the subliminal route is the best in the long term, and will leave us all plenty of time to further explore that lovely mini-bar with no further distractions until phase 2.
*Pause for a sip of * Phase 1 includes (through laser technology) thinning areas of subject's eyelids to spell THING... just enough for their subconscious to pick up on... their conscious mind should never know... unless the subject is exposed to the light concentration of a nuclear blast.
Second is by the old fashioned device of movie sublimation (a'la Fight Club), which can also be used against the motion picture community;predominately to keep Jim Carrey from mucking up the Hitchhiker movie in any way (hopefully, that is just a vicious rumor, but better safe that Th*****yed.
*Drains remaining in one long draught*
Don't like my ideas? That's okay... just consider them... I like what I've been hearing here... I offer only finesse, and my expert espionage skills.
All I ask is a life time supply of pistachio pudding in return for my services. I already have a lifetime supply of preserves from gun smuggling in the Marmalade Uprising of '98. I also have infiltrated D.O.R.C.S. (Denizens in Opposition of Rebellious Cheese Sedition) if you need any references.
Oh, and Ostrich, stop fingering those evil buttons, I disarmed my evil chair while you were all blinking.
So, am I in or out?

Yankee-shoes, I think I can safely say you're in. Your resumé is most impressive. Is Jim Carrey *really* going to be in a H2G2 movie?

We must make this our top priority! All other operations on hold! Carrey must die!

*Stabs dagger into picture of Carrey*

Slartibartfarst, hmmm... I'm not sure if we can trust you...tell you what, if you have any powder that causes horrible painful death on contact we could put it in Jim Carrey's deoderant. Then I think we could accept you in, with honours. Come in, pull up a chair, mwahahaha...ahem.

BTW, I think someone poisoned all the . The symptoms seem to be random evil laughing, insane plotting and delusions of world domination. I'm on my sixth

Excellent! Mwahahahahahahah! About Jim Carrey... don't know if that is really a consideration anymore at all... but we should knock him off before another Ace Ventura comes out and lowers the general brain cell count of the United States. (Although, that could help with sublimination effectiveness....hmmm... can we kidnap Mr. Carrey, hold him for ransom, and use him while awaiting the money?)

I dunno...the only use I can think of for Carrey is landfill. Although we could tie him up, keep him in a special box and take him out to beat him up occasionaly! Not productive but ahhhh...the pleasure. He could be our special executive stress ball.

Have you ever seen 'Coupling' on BBC2 Monday nights? I've always thought that the guy on that who goes out with Susan would make a good Arthur Dent.

Unfortunately, our house cable doesn't even get BBC. I just realized how totally wrong that is!!! Who can we torture to provide that for this American? The closest British programming I get is "Are you being served?" (not my favorite, sorry), "One Foot in the Grave", "Keeping up Appearances" and the really funny one that may or may not be called "As Time Goes By" (that's the theme song, anyway... haven't seen it for a year now). I only see those sporadically on PBS, and have to go assasinate whoever it is who keeps switching showtimes on me. Yankee-shoes

You're missing some great shows...let's see, have you ever seen Blackadder? Knowing Me, Knowing You? Brass Eye? Man, you *really* need to torture someone. Of course we get all the good American shows, our networks buy them. Might I suggest you torture Rupert Murdoch? (he doesn't own the BBC yet, does he? 'Cause he could be listening...). Then, for good measure, we should find Carrey and kick his ass too!

Ahh, being an evil person-of-above-average-intelligence is great...

I love Blackadder! It's the best thing Rowan Atkinson has ever done. I'm not so worried about the casting of Dent, but they better get an actual Englishman to play Ford, or there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, and we will hear the lamentation of their women.

Hey, while we are being evil... why don't WE just get control of the Hitchhiker movie? Lessee... how could we destroy Disney in a completly vile way?

Maybe a drink would help ... ahhh.

Y.S.

Hmmm... Disney definitely needs destroying... Maybe a drink would help, if they really induce evil plotting and laughter. (Walks with extreme trepidation and caution over to the mini-bar, and gets a glass of - it wouldn't do to become intoxicated with so many evil conspirators nearby) "Mu-ha-ha-haha!" Hey! The poison really works!
Maybe we should just take Mickey hostage... or maybe we could be more subtle, and brainwash everyone involved in the Hitchhiker movie. That way we can create the movie, and drain all of Disney's funds designing cool special effects (like the Restaurant at the End of the Universe) while using the rest of the movie budget on positive publicity for the Thingite cause.