h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just make sure it's strong enough. You may be surprised to learn that if a sperm were the size of a salmon it would be swimming its seven inch journey at five hundred miles per hour.

If a sperm were the size of a whale, however, it would be swimming at fifteen thousand miles per hour or mach twenty.

how can you measure the size of your own sperm though? I mean they just don't sit still

wish i had sperm to measure, anyone got some as so i can pratice the art of sperm measuring

Regarding suction devices, I once saw (+ continue to hear about similar cases) of a chap who had his penis stuck in the end of a hoover or someother vaccuum cleaner, whilst woking in A+E. He said he slipped.......hmmmmmmm. A lot like the guy with a carrot stuck in his rectum.but we won't go there.

I believe there are suction devices on the market that are safe....go to your nearest pyschosexual dept + ask to see the Sexware catalogue. Ohhhhh fun stuff in there.

Wattaray

I must admit, i won't let anything machincal near my tagger!

Always use the ones with a kite mark stamped on the rim.

is that tadgers or mechanical things

Mines doesn't have a Kite mark - is it safe

strangely enough i dont have akite mark on mine either

do I have to get someone round from the British Standards Institute to stamp on it

well they could maybe tatoo it on

Mines so large they hold the tattoo on it.

SERIOUS ; my ex hubby was a doctor & several times had to deal with silly souls who tried the vacuum cleaner trick. The ONLY advice is DON'T. At best, it sucks out part of your insides, at worst, it kills you.

Please, please pass that message on to anybody who might be tempted just for a joke.

However, i assume those things you put over your willy which are designed to do the job must be safe enough or they would have been sued & be out of business by now.

zdt

just been looking at a thread on chefs knives

might be just the job for this conversation!

Scotia - the punctuation on your post changes the meaning somewhat

coal mines, iron mines

If you can't see the kite mark you're not unrolling them far enough

Like a fine cigar - suck it + see........ohhhhhhhhh

Wattaray....

I've got a new girly she texts me every night to say goodnight and while i've got exams on she's texting me when I have exams to tell me good luck.

And why has nobody posted anything debauched in 5 days? I'm worried. We all know how some of us *coughs unintelligably* get when they don't get any fuzz.

ooh, new (well, kinda old) topic, what slang or euphamisms are there for the deed itself?

Oooo new girly so whats she like then? nothing on the peni thread in five days? well nothing happening to report on here mores the pity

I got some action yesterday. Nothing to write home about (hang on, I *am* at home ) but reminded me of what i've been fantasising about.

I think we've all gone dormant. come on 2legs, give us some filth!

zdt

hello all!