h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pass the tea, pass the cakes, pass around the crumpets
Sing a song, dance along, accompanied by trumpets.

Where's the guests, where's the rest
Sing a long with Tom.

Jade: We're waiting for the rest of themt o file in before the Sackville-Bagginses catch wind of the prospective party in Bag End.

Bilbo: *comes up with cakes stacked rather high on top of one another and a bottle of wine underneath each arm* Does anyone Like seed cake? I had a few of those laid away in the larder... And a carrot, too, that's the one on top. I can go and get some cheese as well, if you like. *begins walking into an adjoining room* You can coime and settle yourselves around the table with Gandalf, I'm sure he'd like the company. I'm afraid you've all found me a bit unprepared...

Jade: follows Bilbo into the kitchen and seats herself across from Gandalf*

*on the table there are many maps and treasures of old, which Bilbo is hastily clearing away and placing on nearby crammed shelves*

Bilbo: *shouts to the people in the sitting/living.whatever room and those still on his doorstep* You all can come into the kitchen now!

*enters and sits... somewhere*

is someone going to be gandalf? i would, but i know NOTHING about the Hobbit. i was a deprived child...

*dances and prances into the kitchen*

Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow
Bright blue his jacket is and his boots are yellow.

*Enters, but doesn't remove his cape. You never know when you'll need it*

Who is going to be Gandalf???

Jade: *looks at Sea* Calm down and stop looking so nervous! It's all right, really. Gandalf's just a big softie, menacing as he looks.

Bilbo: *bustles in, laying out plates and glasses and cutlery and the like. Looks at everyone who's not yet seated* What you all still standing up for? Do sit down, please.

Jade: Are you /sure/ you don't need any help?

Bilbo: Oh, no no no no, dear, let me do the running about. I'm quite good at it, really. *runs out again*

Well, he certainly is good at it. Best not interfere with our host's hospitableness. You don't get much of it on most adventures.


I don't know, but I'm too busy IRL to really commit myself, personally.

if anyone cares to direct me as to how a Gandalf should behave, i guess i can do it...

*tries to stop looking so nervous. looks at gandalf but tries not to stare*

I'm stretched a bit thin at the moment too, although it IS tempting.

*GL enters the room and sits at the table. Helps himself to some seed cake and tea.*

So, Bilbo - have you been on any travels lately?

*looks around and contemplates reading The Hobbit this weekend*

Bilbo: *still rushing to and fro with plates of Hobbit fare* If you count going to market this morning traveling...! But honestly, I've been on a few short treks to Bree, but other than that, not really. *looks about* Is everyone comfortable then?

Oh, yes. Very.

Oh all right, I'll be Gandalf then.

*by now there is every manner of food and/or drink anyone could think of in bowls and on trays and in bottles... and a lot of other things, too.*

Bilbo: Good, good. *sits down near Gandalf and Sea* Well I do think that we're ready to eat then. Everyone has a glass, yes? *looks about to make sure that everyone had some manner of a drinking aparatus in front of them, which they do. The alo have plates, but he sisn't ask thet. I just put it in here for continuity's sake and so all of you wouldn't assume you were eating out of your laps or something.* Well. Put something in it, won't you? I'd like to propose a toast!

Jade: Gladly. *she grabs an ol, weatherbeaten bottle in front of her labeled in old elvish that says something like "Mountain Dew." She shrugs and uncorks the bottle, filling her cup halfway with some sort of yellowish green fizzy wine stuff.* Anyone else want some of this? *reading the elvish nutritional lable on the back* By the look of it, it has quite a bit of something called "caffeine." Wonder what that is...?

Bilbo: Oh, that's wonderful stuff. I got that bottle from Elrond in a christmas basket last year. Lovely bubbles. They tickle your nose. Only, be careful and don't drink it so fast, it might burn your throat a bit. *looks at everyone else* There should be plenty of bottles of things to go around. I brought up a bit of everything. Just look about until you fiond whatever it is that you're needing.

Gandalf: *for the first time, he takes the ice pack off his head and opens his eyes. He peers at the assembled guests* Quite a group we have here, Bilbo. Friends of yours? *looks over at Pippin* Oh /hello/ Peregrin.

Bilbo: Will you be wanting anything to drink, Gandalf my friend?

Gandalf: *points down at his teacup situated in front of him on the table* The tea will do fine, thank you. You go on ahead with your guests.

Bilbo: I shall, I shall, old friend. Now, everyone, don't hesitate. There's far more in this room right now that I'll drink in a month. Go right on ahead. *sips at the contents of his glass and waits for the others to fill theirs*

*Takes a drink*

*Continues to sip his tea.*

Now, Gandalf. We're all seasoned adventurers here and we're all available at the moment. Do you have anything that needs doing?

*sea pours herself a glass-full of the strange liquid and sips cautiously, giggling as the bubbles tickle her nose*

this is great stuff!

Jade: *to Sea* You know it... *hiccup*

Bilbo: *heard Garius's comment and looks sideways at Gandalf* There was that matter about the you-know-what...

Gandalf: You can't mean the...

Bilbo: *nods* Oh, I do.

Gandalf: Are you sure they can be trusted? They have that bloody Took with them...

Bilbo: Pippin's a good boy.

Gandalf: Ehhh, you're right, he's just got a bit too much of the old Took in him... *hearty * This isn't to say that's a bad thing, either, if they're to go and get the...

Bilbo: The you-know?

Gandalf: Yes, that.

Jade: *raises an eyebrow* What exactly, is this thing then? *sips her Dew*

Gandalf: It's a... well- it's a, you know, erm...

Bilbo: It's a bit hard to explain...

Jade: I'd gathered that. So what exactly would this adventure entail, then?

Bilbo: Well, it's not as if there won't be danger...

Gandalf: Oh, there'll be plenty of that... *pulls out his pipe and begins stuffing pipe weed into it*

Bilbo: And there might be damsels in distress...

Gandalf: Oh, certainly.. *lights his pipe and begins to puff at it thoughtfully*

Jade: *to Garius* What do you think?

*Rubs his hands.*

Sounds like it's right up my alley!

*Smiles*

*Jade looks at everyone else*

Jade: What do you all think? We're bringing you all along as well, so you have a say too. *sips Mtn. Dew*