h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jade: Ah Hally, I hope you've brought your butlers with you, the floor's a bit, shall we say-

Thras: -She means to say it's lacking blood.

Jade: Too true, too true. And Myst. Darling, I've missed you these past... seven hours. But honestly though. Make sure you fid me that nice tall desk I used to perch upon, please and thank you.

Thras: Hallainzil, would you care for a drink? Jade's been at the ramune-flavoured s for a while, but I'm fairly certain I could mix you one.

Could I sit in please on the meeting?

Im sorry about the whole you know..poison popcorn, and Mr Legion business, but well....this being a board for evil and mayhem and all....

*regards the BoE veterans with amdiration*

i didn't think any on you lot were going to come back. welcome! great to see you. the plotting etc. has been a bit sparse lately so hopefully your return will spice things up a bit.

oh, and Jade, i stocked up the minibar with ramunes for tradition's sake.

*slides a along the bar to Jade*

anything for the daemon? hi Thras. *waves*

Mr. Legion! Jade!
*gazes adoringly*
*looks about to faint but shakes head and continues to stare adoringly at legion and jade*
Will you autograph this picture?!?!?!
*clones of xanthippi come in and start to drag her out to avoid emberassment*
*being dragged*
I LOVE YOU LEGION, JADE.
I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!
*as she is finally at the door of the BoE, mutters to self*
not evil, must control self.
*is dragged outsides, door slams closed behind her*
I tried to save the wood panneling!

andit's the ones on the left ya gotta worry about...

Jade: Kitush, he'll be fine. Galigan, forgive me if I've forgotten where we originally met you, but you gave me ramune and I'm appreciative of that. Xanthippi, one more outburst like that and I am going to do something extremely unpleasant to you.

Thras: *leaps on a bowl of black olives and starts munching* Sheth not keddeeng. *munch munch munch*

Jade: *takes a sip of the ramune Galigan slid to her* Ahhh, poisoned it with the wolfsbane, did you? I always loved the aftertaste it gave.

Why did I unsubscribe to this... and no I'm not following you Jade

Jade: Ah Terran dear. So good of you to come. Perhaps you can revive Legion...? His inhaler didn't work.

Thras: That's because it wasn't an antidote.

Jade: Quiet, you.

*peeks from prodigal-land and arches a brow at the goings-on...pulls out a magic marker and writes her name on the back of a chair, because she's pretty sure reservations from Gaia don't port over to here, and sits, sipping from her own bottle of water as she looks around*

A-HEM.

*clears her throat for real* It has come to my attention that in my long absence, the BoE has been severely lacking my presence...*casts an eye about* Well...I'm here now, and I say to you all:

*sneaks a peek at her script, then looks back up*

Stop the idiocy. Or I will be forced to severely mangle you...As if you were one of Hally's butlers. *glances around, smiling sweetly* Any arguments? *doesn't wait* No, didn't think so...Now...Who wants a cookie?

Jade: Thank you but no thank you, Mado.

Tras: She didn't much care for the rat-poison.

Hello Jedeelf. I am the war leader of the Dragon House

Jade: *blinks*

Thras: She doesn't care.

Yay.

*clears her throat and looks up from her sketching*

You know...I think working in retail has broadened my E-vil horizons...

We should open up a retail chain...Brainwash all the employees, and put up a front of sugar-sweet niceness while we rape the wallets of all our customers. And sell cookies *nods and nibbles on one of her freshly baked cookies, of the homemade chocolate-chip variety*

And flowers...*has a new obsession with flowers*

*Peers at Madoka.*

'ere, now. You seem familiar... we've met. But where?

So being new and all, and being eager to learn from the great masters.......Is there anything being planned? *rubs hands gleefully*

I was thinking. How about if we made a TV-ad, and then add some backmasked subliminal message thing, like: You crave Ice-cream. Your existence is meaningless without Ice-cream, then buy up all the ice-cream parlours, and use the proceeds for party funds?

*One of Mr Legion's eyebrows twitches. He rises from flat on his back onto his feet in one smooth, inexplicable movement*

Did somebody say party?

*Balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling, Belinda Carlisle's 'Heaven Is A Place On Earth' blares from hidden speakers and everybody suddenly finds a drink in their hand and an embarassing little hat on their head*

Shabadoo! Come on, everybody, we need to re-christen the old place with drinking, feasting, sacrificing a goat and sheckshie, sheckshie dancing...

*looks in amazement at the scene in front of my eyes* My goodness...

Belinda Carlisle's 'Heaven Is A Place On Earth' - My goodness...That truly is EVIL. This is truly an evil place if you have that song on at a party.

No, it's more evil to have it on at someone else's party.


*turns it of*

don't worry about it Jade. I'm not sure we ever actually met anyway. if we did it was probably when i was known as Denicoje, but that was a long time ago.

i originally knew of you when i was reading through the blog when the boardroom was new, and i can tell you now it's a lot more entertaining than many books i've read. i wanted to read all the way through before joining in but i got bored after the Zeppelin incident when you and Legion and the others left so i joined in regardless.

and consequently, that did contain wolfsbane but it was part of my special brew of poison. maybe i'll share the recipe with you one of these days.