h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

from the mini bar. i am the Thingite guardian of the mini bar so as long as i'm around it'll be stocked up. unless we're attacked and someone steals the booze.

i stole the minibar. correction i stole seven or eight minibars. all of them from the boardroom. I think. it was a while ago. I also burned a lot of minibars. that was in my fire stage.
*sets self on fire*

andit's the one on the left ya gotta worry about...

*replaces the mini bar and watches xanthippi burning with interest*

careful soon it will start to spread.
*fire starts to creep along the floor toward the minibar*

andit's the one on the left ya gotta worry about...

*extinguishes the fire with a *

there.

hold on...

*the floor explodes into flame and engulfs the mini bar*

oh bother!

*pulls out flamethrower and adds to the flames*

*still on fire*
mmm it's warm. how nice.

andit's the one on the left ya gotta worry about...

*falls out of the ceiling onto xanthippi*
i'm back! hey, did anyone notice that this room's on fire? *runs out of room and comes back seconds later with fire truck* don't worry xanthippi, i'll put that fire out! *xanthippi gets up* hold still! *shoots xanthippi with water from the fire hose, sending her flying* sorry! my mistake!

so nice to see you again.

*several clones of xanthippi run in and start to mop up the water*

still this has caused quite a disturbance...and it's really all my fault

andit's the ones on the left ya gotta worry about...

*shoots xanthippi and her clones with fire hose*
sorry,i thought i saw that fire starting up again...

Brainless minions rush in with mops to help with water clean up.

andit's the ones on the left ya gotta worry about...

*gets into rubber suit and throws a toaster oven (plugged in) into the water. all people in the room except BGNW are electrocuted*
umm...it slipped?*shifty eyes*

*streches*
nothing like a good electricution to get the blood flowing.

andit's the ones on the left ya gotta worry about...

*sits on wooden table and watches in amusement*

how is this amusing?

andit's the ones on the left ya gotta worry about...

*steps from the shadows*

Raging fires, electrocutions, people getting sprayed with fire hoses, this is very amusing indeed.

that's what i thought.

well when you put it that way...
I'm having fun but I'm not amused exactly. At least I see where you're coming from now.

andit's the ones on the left ya gotta worry about...

I'm back. Whats happened?

*There is a slight knock at the doors, and the vauge sound of someone realizing that knocking is far less dramatic than other routs.
With a thundering crash, the doors burst open, slamming hard against the walls. A figure strides in between them, his pale silver hair lining his handsome yet intimidating face. He takes a hearty breath, and looks around.*

Well, I'm back! I see Chronos is here... anyone else of the Old School shown up, my good friend? A good deal of new faces...

*Myst peers at the rest of the room suspiciously.*

How's the e-vil plotting coming along then, eh? Our Illustious Leader may be paying us a visit soon, you know...

*He pauses, as if thinking.*

Two hundred sixty-two...