h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm over here. The guy you just kicked was a servant attempting to clean your shoes.

oh well they all look the same anyway.

*goes back to sipping the as another servant comes to clean his shoes*

thank you Jeeves. you may go and converse with whoever the other servants are.

Jeeves: y-y-yes m-master...th-th-thank you m-master...

*Jeeves scuttles off*

Anyway, the paint has burned itself into the shoes. There's no way it's gonna come out.

That'll learn ya.

Too right, it will!

*quirks an eye at Ralph* What are you, two? *rolls her eyes* You're cramping my style, man...Nobody likes an infant.

Reminds me of playing with my 5 year-old cousin... "I shoot you!" "Ah! You got me! But I shoot you back as I die!" "I can't die! I'm magic!"

"I spray your shooes!" "I wash them!" "It doesn't come out!"

*glances around* Am I the only one that sees the correlation?

Methinks someone needs a Chill Pill and a Time Out.

*Grins, sliding behind Madoka calmly.*

Ah, *yes*... Now I rememer you Madoka... forgive my lack of manners.

*Myst's eyes sweep the room, and narrow in a very bad way.*

This place could do with a *smidge* of a clean-up. Ralph, I sense talent behind your somewhat bemused expression. You've got a quick wit and a fast left hook, literally. That thing where you turn into a were-lama, scary. The trick is, your violence needs to be tuned to a specific frequency... elegant, yet mindless, but still serving the higher purposes of the BoE... for example...

*Myst drops a glass to the ground, which promptly shatters. In an instant, a butler is cleaning up the shards, with a pallid look on his face.*

Note the nameless underling. He has no *true* value, to say, but is an asset in both life and death. Watch carefully...

*The butler finishes his task, and gets up carefully, knees shaking.*

[Butler] Anyt-thing else, M-m'lord?

[Myst] *Nods curtly.* You may go.

*As the butler turns about, Myst smiles, and with a movement much akin to a snake striking, he spins about on one heel, and plants a solid side heel kick to the temple of the butler, who immediately goes slack to to lack of higher brain function. Myst places his foot carefully on the ground. Another butler hurries in and drags the carcass away.*

Now, can anyone tell me how that served our purposes?

Just taking a guess,

is it satisfying a need for senseless violence?

Jade: *casually ignores the backlog and hopes none of it pertained to her.*

Thras: It might well have, you know.

Jade: *Calmly removes a spike-heeled boot and throws it at him*

Thras: Ow...

Jade: *looks about, sees Legion is once again alive, and decides to use him as a chair, ala' the old days*

*is watching very fascinated by the antics of the veterans*

I have soooo much to learn.

*Scribbles some notes down in the notebad*

Thras: while you're jotting down notes, you ought to know, kitush, that Jade considders Legion //her personal perch,// and if you ever try to use him as such, she might do nasty things to you.

Jade: Correction: She would //deffinately// do nasty things to you. The Legion is mine. *her eyes flash a frightening shade of gold for a split second* My //preceeeciooouuussss//.

Ok....Er....Any reason why?

Note to self: Keep well away from Mr Legion.

And probably away from Jade aswell... just to be safe

*Starts looking excited*

ohmygodthistrulyissuchacooooooooolplace.

Everyoneissoooooscary.

Jade: ...Terran dear, have you got anything to give kitush? The child's a bit excitable.

*starts jumping and down on the spot*

hehehheheheheh. They said I'd never reach the Board...But they were wrong! Here I am in THE coolest place in the entire universe.

Hmm... I've got something here, but well... I don't think we'd be seeing Kitush for a while.... not sure if thats quite how to clam Kitush down...

I'll see if I can find something a little less extreme...

"clam him down"
*calm him down... calm him down... *

*Again thinks everyone on the board needs to get their eyes checked*

She?