h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*puts Otis singing "Dock of the Bay" on the hi-fi, ramps it up to 11*

Don't leave, JJ! If all the newcomers are making you dizzy, just join me on a deckchair out on the terrace. We can smoke pipes, growl at the youngsters and moan about the good old days. Whaddya say?

*Plumps up cushion on deckchair, nods along to 'Dock of the Bay' and drains *

Where's that waiter? Hussassy! Fresh glass, lively!

*brings Mr.L a freshly harvested , hand picked at the peak of ripeness from the choicest of vines...*


*ahems*

Well, sir did just request a fresh glass

Afternoon all!

Anybody miss me?

Hey, everyone!

4 hours and only two postings?!?
That's despicable!!

Where is everyone???

Beats me. Waxing the car?

We need some new e-vil. My SPECTRE suit is getting all dingy and we haven't even hatched an e-vil plot yet.

*Kicks ocelot out of frustration*

Well, I've decided to go back to the classic Hussassan the Silicon Samurai. Hey, do you think I should change my Thingite title to something along the lines of Thingite Shogun on the basis that I'm the first Thingite Samurai? Oh, and Legion, that was full of T-virus so you'll be a flesh-hungry zombie within the week, in revenge for attacking my village and turning my parents to stone.
Right, now I've taken sufficient revenge on you, I can honourably forgive you. Here (because you all demanded it) are some new evil plans:
1) We eat meat in front of a bunch of die-hard moral vegetarians.
2) We lock a bunch of die-hard moral vegetarians in a room with plenty of air and water but no food so they'll eat each other.
3) We become a bunch of die-hard moral vegetarians, preach to everyone until everyone on Earth is a die-hard moral vegetarian, at which point we become a bunch of ravenous insatiable carnivores.
4) We let a bunch of digruntled postal workers loose in the UN.
5) We do the Linux thing (see backlog).

*screams and goes to sit down in the deck chair next to Legion*

This is madness, this is. And no, not the e-vil kind of madness, either. The... not good kind. Hussassy...! Bring me one of Yank's poisoned lychee s, or suffer the consequenses...!

Hey, for once we're online simultaneously! Oh by the way, I'm NOT tour butler, so get it yourself and may rats eat your eyes. By the way, what exactly IS ramune?

Yes, Hussassan... You should retitle, but maybe make it *e-vil* thingite shogun.
And those are all fine suggestions (I will have to klog for linux though).
Better living through Chemistry!

Here. Look at some ramune. See a guy try to get the marble out. It's very entertaining.
http://www.neartheedge.net/~nearthee/ram.htm


Hussassan, I don't think that you understand the gravity of the situation. You /will/ get me a ramune, or things will become very unpleasant for everyone in the room. Namely yourself.

Do your worst and do it slow. Hey, why do you have so many slashes in your postings?

I could do my orst, but I don't think it would have the same effect on you that it does on Legion. *grins* And besides, I wouldn't want to give you the pleasure.

The slashes indicate emphasis on that word. Cretin.

*She pulls on her sunglasses and stares at the ceiling tiles.*

NOBODY calls me a cretin and gets away with it. I challenge you to a duel, Jedi!!

On second thoughts, never mind. It would be dishonourable for me to defeat such a weak, puny, baby opponent.

*She stands, removes her sunglasses, and places them in a convenient pocket. She strides slowly to Hussassan, moves her left hand slowly back, and then brings it smashing across Hussassan's surprised face.*

Do what you will to me, but I caution you, do not insult me. (/Especially/ when I start speaking in complete sentances.)

*She goes back to her deck chair and sits down.*

At least I know what Ramune is now

*Begins sharpening his katanas with a whetstone, makeing an irritating noise much akin to steel fingernails grinding across a blackboard.*

Heh heh heh...