h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm.... Avon Ladys? Not so formidible as Mary Kay, but just as expendable, nice job. So... what e-vil scheme do you come bearing?

Oh, where's my manners? Do have a ... on the house, of course!

*Snickers, lifts her lychee-flavour to the Avon person.*

Cheers.


*grins e-vily at Yank, winking and mouthing "Good one."*

*Wanders in looking a little furry and too cute to be e-vil. Goes over behind minibar scrounging for antidotes... finds the right one and turns back into his old eve-eel self.*

Seems that last batch of Iocaine powder has some strange side effects.

*courier arrives back from The Blood of the Zaphodistas with a message (sings, because he's also a singing courier "The Biology Cat is a friend of your Calculus Dog, who's doing J.A.N.'s Maths homework back at The Lighthouse Bar..." courier makes mental note to give up the singing telegram part of his job and stick to handwritten notes.*

*Count reads note, shakes head and tosses memo in trash, shrugs shoulders and says,*
I don't know what he's on about.

Avon Ladies?

What have the Gentlewomen of the City of Bath got o do with it?

Groan

A - I'm not a newcomer, as I was formerly known as Blood Angel.
B - I'm wasted on you people. I've come up with loads of e-vil plans, and you just ignore them. Imean it's not like you're all doing very much. C'mon, who wants to fight me!?!?!?!?!?
C - JJ, just what IS a ramune exactly?

Easy as 1, 2, 3 eh?

I'll get in touch with NERV and see if we can borrow a couple of Eva, that'll make us pretty much unstoppable

Eva? What the heck is that? Hmm, all in here is getting a little far removed from the original so *warps the Space-Time continuum, bringing us back to...

...Doe, a deer, a female deer

Well, it's not quite the same. The minibar is now a macrobarTM, containing all liquids that can safely exist in this Universe. There's also a big-screen TV on the North wall, and unfortunately I couldn't get T'mershi Duween back. Hey, tell me honestly, what do you think of my new get-up?

Well, I've not been around much in the last 18 months so this is all pretty new to me

Oh, not NERV. Oh well, EVA units are rather nice... The production model, right? The ones with the nice silver finish? Or unit three?

Well, Unit 3 showed promise but then it was taken over by the 13th Angel (Have I gott the right Eva here? *lol* I've been told the translation 'Angel' is slightly misleading and 'Disciple' would have been more accurate) - The production model is fine, I guess but I've always had something for Unit 2...or is it always had something for Asuka?

Yeah, the right version. And no one else probably knows of what we speak...

*Knows whereof you speak... (partial to Rei Ayanami myself... so existential.)*

*Takes off outfit and gets back into SPECTRE togs.*

Yes. Must get back to eve-eel. But must nap first.

*Falls back into retro eggchair and dozes awhile to replenish e-vil nature*

*huddles round the TV and DVD in the corner with Myst to watch NGE Disc:05 again cos after 23 tries daS still can't understand it*

*Shudders.*

Made me want to slit my wrists...

I didn't know Shinji had it in him, though after what he went through I'm not surprised