h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

AAARRRG! PUNS!

*Slams head repeatedly into wall in the hopes of rendering himself unconcious.*

*throws on Mystrunner*

Get ahold of your self!

*Downs quickly, and sighs.*

Thanks. Needed that.

Well I don't actually need myself but I'll have another anyway.
Fortunately I don't accessorize with parrots and wooden legs so the ocelot doesn't worry me. I stick to the tried and true velvet coats with huge lapels, hook and eyepatches.

Just be careful when/where you scratch!

*Walks over to minibar to mix that for YS*

The cat scuttled off a little while ago. I released the Ocelot [~"Release the Ocelots???"~] when it became apparent that the Zaphodistas are just too un-eevil, too nice,...too good for their own good. We go through all the trouble of getting up a good raiding party, steal ALL their booze, even go to the point of hurling a MUZAK grenade at them and what do they do? They just restock and let us keep the loot.
Buncha Goody-two-shoes!

Well that's OK
We can just raid them again!

*drinking the *

Hey Yank, that poison you put in made this lychee flavoured...

It's not what I'm used to, but it's definately interesting.

I think I'll pass then, I don't like lychee!
Can I just have a plain
On second thoughts.....


GIVE ME A PLAIN !!!

No more raiding the Zaphodistas, the next time it happens i will personally each and every person till, till they've had enough then dice them and get all the bits and stamp on them

seriously guys you just need to think bigger for evil schemes than raiding a permanentaly replenishing stash of free

It's practice - we need to make sure we get it right before we hit harder targets!

*Crashes through skylight like Angel. Is wearing cool, moody, magick, surprisingly light, comfortable, and manouverable Samurai armour. Takes out katana and wakizashi (the two types of samurai sword, each of which has over 1million layers), takes incredibly bloody, violent, and gory revenge on Mr. Legion for that sheep incident, then bloodies up everyone else fo a bit of exercise, before making an Antarctica (liquid nitrogen and dry ice) at the minibar and sitting comfrotably in retro chair.*

Hmm, don't seem to have missed much. Right, here are my e-vil plans for today:
1) We become a bunch of spam merchants.
2) We take over cigarette companies and put loads into every single one, making everyone who lights up get a faceful of BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This would also cleanse the world of cigarette smoke, making it much more pleasant for us and giving all smokers withdrawl symptoms.

By the way newbies, just ignore JJ *takes defensive stance* she puts down every new male member, but the rest of us arre glad of new faces and more evil.

*Watches the newcomer slice at the illusions from his chair.*

Riight.

*blinks*

*to anyone who's listening*

May I kill him, /please/?

I'm fine with that. He tried to kill me.

I should only repay the jesture in full...

*Fingers the edge of a katana.*

*wins at Myst, reaching behind her to unsheath her twin elvish rapier blades*

Shall we then?

*Mixes himself a fresh(ly poisoned) and reclines back in retro eggchair to enjoy the carnage. The ocelot wanders back in and hops into Count Zero's lap. CZ then begins to pet him in a way that only members of S*P*E*C*T*R*E seem to do.*

*sups @ his Coconut & Pineapple and watches with interest*

Now, now... anyone who tries to kill Mysty must go down... plus I haven't seen a good fight in days... anyone?

... hmm, lychee, huh? I don't even know what that is. Hmm.
I'm immune to cynide, dear... nice try though, Zero... I may like you more than Legion, eventually.

*Snags from YS*

You kids, I was poisoning before it was fashionable. Now... Whoa, the BoE has a *backlog*. Things have gotten way out of control...have I been *advertising* somewhere?

*Wanders out through French windows onto terrace, pulls up a deckchair and lies down for a little while, trying not to think about pirates and uppity assassins and ocelots*