h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As a newbie, one question comes to mind before all others: do we have anyone in here distilling bad moonshine in the basement?

I'm going in!

Fixed my nickname. I must be the only person to have a typo in my own name.

*CountZero awakens for a moment... Wanders over to corner of boardroom to wipe up the remains of the parrot he knocked from the shoulder of bored laura... *















Oh..















that's not a parrot...What the is this?







*displays remains to rest of group... there are feathers but what else is thus displayed remains a mystery*







Apologozies, Bored Laura... I thought I saw a parrot on your shoulder as you returned from the raid.



My bad.







*Returns feathery lump to Bored Laura*

BTW...
Has anyone seen my Ocelot?

*Shrugs*
Not a clue.

*CZ saunters rather unsteadily back in*


Hi, Guys... Just got back from the raid... Sorry I was so late. Oh...BTW you missed this!


*Slams bottle of 21yr old Highland Park on Minibar*


Oh... The Ocelot found ME by the way. Helped out at the raid in a strange way.


>notice his uned clothes but many bleeding scratches.<


I'm just going to pass out here for awhile... Ah'ight?


*crumples*

Before we do this again we may need to rethink our positions on , parrots and ocelots. Aside from that I believe we can proclaim the raid a success.

*does a celebratory dance as there's not yet a smiley for it*

I wonder what genius thought of raiding for booze, anyways.
*peruses backlog* Oh, yeah. Props to me then! Someone bring me a

*props feet up on the bleeding Capt. passed out on the ground*

okay... getting bored again.

Oh, and by the way Daniel Anthony... I'm the Chief Subliminator of Thingite Espionage... so I think the two of us need to work together on some covert espionage thingy stuff. Mmmm. Mini-bar.

*CountZero lifts head and regains conciousness just long enough to mumble...*

"Did I get a promotion?"

*Before drifting off again.*
*The ocelot wriggles out of the crudely formed holster and wanders back into forest marking the oak panelling on the way out.*

*sneaks in after following Count Zero back through his port-hole from the Zaphodista. the Count was too drunk on his own success to notice*

Hmmm... I think it was success he was drunk on...

*proceeds to roll barrel of finest liquor back through port-hole.*

Tee-hee!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Pirate stuff. Sorry I missed the raid, but I had a ton of homework. Can I have some stuff for reminding you to restock the minibar and coming up with a plan? Oh that reminds me, I have two new plans.
1)subliminal frames to make people say Thing instead of day.
2)We use magick (sic) and hackers to bring the Ancients out of Eternal Darkness, changing them just enough so that they don't eat us or drive us insane. For those who don't know, the Ancients are the quintessence of evil. For those who don't know what quintessence means - read the backlog.

Thet're planning on striking back! Be ready!

Oh no...!

HIDE THE ...!

This is one bizarre thread to walk into the middle of...

...well, I guess, hello?


Does all this raiding involve swords, by the way?

...

We've kind of already raided. Sorry.

Actually right now we're waiting for the raid we ought to get back for raiding them in the first place. Sort of a... raiding reciprocation, if you will.

So it's kinda raiding precipitatin that'll lead to the inevitable raiding cascade before we all fall through the raiding event horizon beyond which it becomes economically unviable to do anything but go on raids?



*rattles sabre, but it's rusted fast into it's scabbard*

*Awakens. Surveys his current position. Carefully unstraps Ocelot Holster (tm) and wriggles out from under it leaving the holster to continue footrest duties in his place. Then pulls up egg-shaped retro style chair to sit in.*
Yea... there were swords... And tomatoes, and Ocelots. But we succeeded in liberating the Zaphodistas Alcohol (sorry didn't notice any spare Ramune bottles, frustrating things anyway). A nice load of booty, aye? Haarrr

Oh yes. Big curvy pirate ones. The Zaphodistas are going to strike back, eh? We should man the defensive positions. Well, if we had any... Get to your stations! Any stations! I'll remain here and guard the mini-bar

*Flashing red klaxon descends from the ceiling and starts to wail irritatingly*