h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He's got a point.

Aww, you *guys*.

*Wipes a tear from eye, scratches under collar of bullet-proof vest*

So...where shall we destroy today?

*stalks back in with a large pink makeup case*

Legion! While I watch the survelliance tape of the time I've been gone... fix me a would you love?

*YS looks better than ever and has a sexy little scar on right clavicle*

After reading 5 weeks of backlog, I've decided that the BoE has become a flirt fest and there is very little e-vil going on at all. Even the hallowed Ostrich didn't stick around. I'm VERY disappointed. I may just up and leave again. The BoE is dead? Long Live the BoE!!!

I'm pretty hard to defeat.

Met your anti-evil twin, YS. Nice gal, she.

Welcome back YS. It's true, we are in dire need of some e-vil plans.

*Hands YS a , sits back in faux-60s egg-chair*

Yeah, things have got pretty lax around here. Have you seen the state of the oak panelling? And no-one's stocked up the minibar in ages...oh yeah, and the e-vil plans. Of course. Will we proceed with our goals of replacing T******y with 'Thing', or does anyone have a pet project they'd like to bring to the table?

Hey, Mysty... anything good we can go do instead? I'm sooo bored! I got reunited with my nice twin and we melded.... hey, I have a secret weapon in this makeup case, too.

Welcome back YS, long time no see. How are things?

Terran

Decent, Terran... how goes things on the battle front?

Well there doesn't seem to be much of a battle at the moment. I think we need someone else to fight. There seems to be some bizzare fancy dress party there at the moment .

Terran

Okay, maybe I'll check it out later.

Hmm... good things to do. None pop to mind.

*Sighs*

Or I could shamelessly endorse my quest, like usual...

I rather think you just have I have an idea for something truly e-vil...perhaps even too e-vil for you here assembled. Just how low are you willing to sink into wickedness?

How much violence is involved? It's been a long time since I've done any throat-slitting...

Myst, you're just mad because i wouldn't let you slit my throat.

Tell us, Legion, what is it you have in mind?

*Sulks over no throat-slitting*

Dare I ask what's going on?

Hey, I've got a new plan. First, we take over Red Hat Linux. Then, we hack into Microsoft and hype up the new version of Windows to levels unheard of, but the actual product has so many bugs and viruses (put there by us, of course) that pressing any key will cause physical damage to the computer.Next, hack into Microsoft's and Bill Gates's bank accounts and divert all their remaining funds into the following:
-Our accounts
-The BoE account
-Alcohol companies who sell to the BoE
-Cool Japanese companies (because they're just the quintessence of cool)
[quinntessence - purest form of]
Once this is complete, Microsoft will declare super-duper-wuper bankruptcy when all the defective programs are returned, and users will have to use - that's right - LINUX!!!! Though Linux is actually superior to Windows, a lot of programs won't run on it, and it's harder to use anyway. That way, everyone's in great difficulty and inconvenience, but we'll be rolling in it because, with Windows out of the way, Linux will be all they'll be able to use! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and obviously we'd replace t****day with Thing (glorious Thing) on all versions of Linux.

Well, laura, we basically start by coming up with plans evil (or, as it's called here, e-vil) for renaming the second day of the week which begins with t Thing, and world domination, then we try and poison each other with drinks from that minibar, then we massacre poor defenceless animals and each other, then we satrt all over again. Actually, I haven't done any poisoning or massacring yet because I'm still a newbie myself, but I'm telling you this becaues I seem to be the only one online at the moment. T'mershi Duween was great fo the auld massacring, but he hasn't been here for a while. Hey, where the hell IS he?