h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh good, nothing excitings happened!
::Goes back to sleep::

Sorry J.J. I should have introduced my self to you earlier. I'm Count Zero. I'm a new convert to thingism. On my way to the armoury, I wandered by the boardroom and heard some e-vil plotting going on so I kinda made myself at home. (sorry about the paneling). Then shortly after I walked in I got caught up in a raiding party and liberated some fine single malt for the minibar.
I can't speak for the ocelot, he'll have to introduce himself.

Thrasymachus: Oh, you have an ocelot, have you? Well I'm a dragon. *he grins widely, revealing his tiny needlelike teeth*

Jade: Oh yes, I have that dragon thing. His name is Thrasymachus.

Thras: But you can call me Thras...!

Jade: why are /you/ being so friendly?

Thras: *shrugs* Dunno. I like ocelots tho...

Well, since I haven't seen too many pirates come through the porthole lately, you can have this one.

*Releases ocelot from holster. Ocelot scores a few more swipes at the Count's arms before bolting for the door toward the forest."*RREEOOWWW fssst

Thras: 's all right, I'm only a very small ragon, and therefore ill-equipped to take care of a fully grown ocelot. So you can keep him. Thank you for the thought though.

Thrasymachus? They have tablets for that thesedays, surely?

Thras: ... That's my name.

Jade: It means "spirited being" in old greek.

Thras: Bit of a pun really, as I am a being of spirit...

Jade: No one ever gets the joke though.

Thras: Not enough philosophers about, I expect.

This is true, as if the Buddhist Strike wasn't bad enough, to be faced with a shortage of philosophers too...

My fellow thingites stealing? What black art is this, :opens dark tome of pure evil: oh, that one. Right, i have duplicated teh etc and you are invited to return to the bar on friendly terms and we promise to quit ing you if you leave the alcohol

Does only taking about 6 units in 2 years count?

It's not stealing... It's "Liberating!"
HHAARRGGH!

*all the little bottles jump up and down and say 'freeeeeddddoooommm'!*

J.J... relax... I tried out a new poison on your ramune earlier, thought you might be able to handle it (or drop dead), so they should be feeling a bit ill by now.

Hey, Count nothing... be a dear and fix me a will you?

Y.S.

*hands you a plenty*

Oh, POISON...my mind *lol*

Thanks. I don't know you. Why are you being nice to me? Should we start killing each other now, or wait until we get to know each other?

*takes out and sharpens rapier*

Me? Nice? I'm sorry, I wasn't aware

I know. That's why it was so easy for me to stick that poisoned blow dart in your neck whilst you weren't being aware. I decided to try and kill you right off.

My right off's pretty much useless nowadays, almost totally atrophied, I wont miss it

that was a terrible joke. For that you must die. *grabs Legion's bazooka and starts firing*

Urgh, got me *falls, clutching heart, no, that's the other side, falls clutching right lung*