h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It looks like a harmless button, but it could be mostly harmless

Probably is!
::reaches in slow-motion to press button::

it is a very NICE button, a VERY atractive colour scheme!

Do you think I should press it and see what happens?

No no no noooo, don't push that button...! It converts everyone's computers to Windows EX opp. systems!

For the love of the gods man, stop!

...And Legion, stop -ing at me.

:::: at Jade just to wind her up!!::
What's wrong with doing that?

*rises from slumber* oops, apologies for sacrificing me Avon lady and falling asleep in me chair, must've been something in the *pointed stare at space where T'mershi once was*

*cunning evil face descends*
I have an eeevil plan..... evilly snatched from an innocent email....
since Pirelli are onto us, particularly you Mr L., may I suggest we try Hallmark for our next attack? Calendars of distinction going to posh houses, It-girls will thing Thing is the new, erm, thing.. gullible children will copy them and pester parents to buy only calendars with Thing-days! mwuhahahahahaaaaaa

It works thus... we infiltrate hallmark with an evil undercover agent... somebody with nerves of steel in order to withstand the bombardment of Calendars with days.... then, they put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.... once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to expresso! (and win 10 office email dare points!) In all the fanatical hyperactivity, it will be easy to make a few swift changes, and by the time things have calmed down, it will be too late!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

I realise this plan may be lacking in weapon related guts/innard deployment, but there are sure to be cute fluffy toys on all the desks, that you could feed to the shredder!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! (again)

ooh!

Oh and Don't Push The Button! ....rather fetching red colour isn't it, I'll er... just have a closer look.......

::Pushes queeglesproggit to fall on the button::
Wasn't my fault!!
Jade pushed me!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!!!!

ooh!

::Screams in shock::
MY PRECIOUS RED BUTTON!!! How dare you press the button!? I was saving that for later.
::A sudden look of deep worry comes over his face . Pauses for a moment with the look of a rabbit in your headlights... then dives under the minibar with his SPECTRE type nehru jacket pulled over his heads::
What did it do???
Hussassan... What did it do???

::Still quivering under the minibar::
Hey... where'd this other head come from???

ooc. Oh my,look what a typo can do to continuity. I only had one head when I came in here honest.

I like the plan. I'm not quite sure what the red buttons do, but they give the place a nice Evil-Conspiracy-esque look, don't you think? By the way, sorry about the continuity thing, but did you have to break my swords? They're antiques, you know.

*pushes the big red button on his computer marked "panic"*

*'Panic' procedure starts. Red klaxons descend from the ceiling. One of the windows is randomly smashed. Hired extras run through the BoE yelling frantically*

Very atmospheric, don't you think? To chaos!

*Raises *

I've come to meet this General...what do you call him? Mayhem?

::Crawls out from under the minibar. Is somewhat calmed by the blaring klaxons and flashing red lights and frantic extras in the BoE. Starts picking up various bottles of and poisons.::

Does anyone know a good drink to remove this extra head?

>Extra Head< Remove yourself mate. I didn't ask to be here.

I could just whip that off for you with my Mighty Sword of Dobber?

Maybe as a last resort. I'm going to try chemistry first.

::Begins mixing various 's and 's. Tosses in a twist of lemon for flavor and downs the very large in one gulp...
After a few moments transitions through various phases and passes out behind minibar .::

Try my new cocktail, I call it: