h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you have any particular skills, we'd love to hear from you.

Urm... if being a thatcher is out, I have a lot of experience with water. Afterall, I run the h2g2 waterworks - so is a plumber okay?

We'll have to interview you for both jobs first, and we might need to see your toolbag too.

Urm, urm, erm.... I think perhaps you should interview Sarah first...

I'll be groundskeeper, if the job's available.
I'll keep the green in check, as long as you people keep your dogs off it.

So am I a thatcher or a plumber, or both?

I like working with flower beds, and I'm rather adept with stone. Any positions available for me?

Go asking questions like that round here and you might be a bit surprised at the way dear little old ladies think!
I think we need REFERENCES.
Bluebottle - lets hear from someone who can vouch that you are good with old plumbing.
Barney's Bucksaws - anyone to confirm your skill in the flower beds?

Sorry Big Mad Mr T, didn't see you at the back there. It's there glasses y'know.
*Blink blink, polish*
That's better. Any good at strimming? I'm sure the village needs a good strim from time to time. A reference please.

Hi Lady C,

what about a job in the Crossed Purpose Pub?
As for references: I'm already working as a waitress in Bolle's Berliner Buletten Bude ( http://h2g2.com/A292448 ) - the main meeting place for the German community (though I'm Polish, but I lived in Germany about 10 years), you can ask my boss, AXR ( http://h2g2.com/U113427 )

Maybe I could be the barman (-woman?)? And as I love jazz, there could be a smooth and light and of course not to loud jazz music playing in the background.
What do you think?

Well, there must be someone --- let me think --- must go ask the neighbors. I'll get back to you.

Kasia! Your references check out fine. Fully experienced. You can start as soon as the pub is open. In fact, I'm sure it will be a busy night.
Do you need any Young Men to help?

~Ring-ring~ *Coely's phone is ringing.*

Coely, its me. Let Bluebottle in. I can fully vouch for him. He is a wonderful plumber. Very experienced and he wears both a belt and suspenders while he works so that we ladies will never be shocked at the view of him from behind. Hire him! The job at thatching might not be such a good idea for him though. He likes fires. That's all. Ta-ta!

Hmm.. Mari-rae, either you're not English or Bluebottle has very strange dress sense. Plumbers in suspenders, very scarey.

Don't tell me english plumbers do the sensible thing and wear coveralls?

English plumbers sometimes wear overalls but would *never* wear suspenders (which are normally used to hold your stockings up!)

However, you might be onto something. At least it would brighten up an otherwise boring plumbing problem. Bluebottle might be overrun with requests...

*totally unable to answer the phone for laughing, coelacanth switches the voicemail on instead. She puts Bluebottle's file in the "position filled" tray.*

Oh, that item of clothing are called garters over here. Well, what do you call suspenders, then? Braces? (Seems to remember a reference to braces in some old Agatha Christy book or other, and had to puzzle out what was meant - a mystery within the mystery so to speak!)

*Looks idly out of the window trying to hide the huge grin, and sees the postie deliver something to Mari-rae's cottage.*