h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Randy Aussies in OUR peaceful little village? What will the little old ladies say? And I didn't say you were a peeping tom.....I just don't want to be responsible if you have a heart attack while innocently looking out of your shop windows on washing day!!??
ps: Sorry for spelling your name wrong earlier!

Galaxy Babe - references check out fine, and a job for you soon.
Vegiman - Lets hope you're up to it, as you look at bit hot there.

*Pushes out everyone else who has just come into natter, then puts up the CLOSED sign. *

All applicants, please put a note through the letterbox.
Lady C

Pushes a note through the box...

Dear Coelacanth,

I have received the most puzzling advertisement today in the mail. They have all the clothes named wrong. Anyway, have we gotten an application for a vicar yet? Amy has provided a link to one that she noticed. Shall I contact him/her?

Come for tea when you get a chance,
Mari-rae

*flutter of wings
*reads sign "CLOSED"
*reads thread
*smiles
*thinks: I wonder what job they will give me? I must have a browse through mari-rae's catalogue next time I'm passing.
*flutter of wings

*Posts a notice...*

If anyone has their new Guide Entry pages done describing their cottage and/or shops in the Village, please give me the address so that I can link to them from the Village's main page. So far my cottage and the Tea Shoppe are the only ones posted. Thanks!!!

*Produces a pen and a notebook

Dear Job center Staff ...

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a married man in possession of no fortune must be in want of a job.

attached are my skills and references

* attaches a blank piece of paper

* posts note (c sharp) through letter box

*The Job Centre door opens and Lady C pins up the following notice:*

THE JOB CENTRE WOULD LIKE TO CONFIRM THE FOLLOWING APPOINTMENTS

Babel-17: Lady C's personal handiman - ref supplied by Lady C
Bluebottle: Plumber (being quite unsuitable for the thatching) - ref supplied by Mari-Rae
Galaxy Babe: Proprietor of Beauty Shoppe, the place to go for massage, manicure and pedicure, advice dispensed and floristry orders taken. - ref from God A.
God A: The Church. - No references required
Kasia: Landlady of Crossed Purposes Pub - Fully experienced and refs all checked
Vegiman: Village Stores and home delivery - ref supplied by Lady C

We are prepared to make the following appointments but have yet to receive references.
Big Mad Mr T: - sexton at the church, with special responsibility for bell ringing.
Barney's Bucksaws: - Landscape Technician, with special responsibility for cutting grass, trimming hedges, repairing walls and shovelling snow.


Vacancies remain and applications are welcome for:
Doctor
Vicar
Thatcher
Bar staff for Crossed Purposes Inn. Apply here or ask Kasia
Young school leaver shop assistant. Apply here or ask vegiman
Librarian
Car Park Attendant
Staff for the Grange

If you have other skills please offer yourself to Lady C.

*picks up c sharp and places it in the Pending tray*

Lady C

* Lipsbury tootles up on a monocycle
* detaches cy from monocycle
* gives monocle a polish and screws into eye

Morning Lady C - are you still looking for a librarian? Dashed useful things books always had a fondness for them.

A librarian! How absolutely wonderful. And since I know who sent you along, there's no need to provide a reference. The job's yours.
Lady C

Every librarian should be called Lipsbury Pinfold IMHO.

I agree. And did you see the monocle too. What a charming addition to our little way of life. I must pop by and look at the hardbacks soon.
Lady C

Hsst! Don't forget to tell him about the next step; making his own Guide Entry describing the library and himself, then giving me the address so that I can post it on the Village homepage. Thanks! M-r

He reminds me of someone. *thinking* Lipsbury Pinfold isn't the name, though. Hmmm, I wonder...

I'd like to apply for the position of postman, please. I have an excellent reference from Amy the Ant.

*has a very, very close look at Peregrin's bare feet to judge their suitability for such a demanding job*
I think they'll do, and if Amy says so, then you've got the job.
Lady C

Dear Lady C.

I would recommend Peregrin highly for any position he wished to take up. He is definitely all mailman and has a way with large parcels that needs to be seen to be believed. He will even lick your stamps for you. Peregrin will deliver.

Regards

Amy the Ant

I can thoroughly recommend my bare feet. I used to have pictures of them on h2g2, and have a webcam pointed at them (not running at the moment due to technical problems). They're very rugged and experienced.

Thanks for the 'reference,' Amy!

Pssstt. Here are his feet:

[Broken link removed by Moderator]

Ahem! As I said, I had a good look at them already! I don't just let anyone lick stamps y'know. Peregrin, the job's yours.
Lady C

Thanks
I'll begin work as soon as I've settled into my new house. (do I have approval on that BTW?)