A Conversation for Red Dwarf
The Captains office-sign up here!
Luthiena Posted Feb 17, 2004
I would like to sign up, sir!!!
I have great resilience, I can even sit through 12 hours of Hammond Organ music or RISK without dying of boredom! 
So let me on board and you won't be sorry 
The Captains office-sign up here!
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 17, 2004
*hands over a 19 feet high pile of papers*
Sign these, then your onboard!
The Captains office-sign up here!
Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted Posted Feb 17, 2004
"I can even sit through 12 hours of Hammond Organ music or RISK without dying of boredom! "
Rimmer - sounds like your ideal crew mate.
The Captains office-sign up here!
Luthiena Posted Feb 17, 2004
*signs all the paper then salutes in a long-winded manner*
There you go, sir!
The Captains office-sign up here!
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 18, 2004
*returns the salute with a long rimmer-salute*
Welcome aboard! I'm sure we'll G.O.J.F.
The Captains office-sign up here!
Luthiena Posted Feb 19, 2004
Only if you K.I.T (no that does not stand for Ken Is a Transvestite )
The Captains office-sign up here!
*Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* Posted Feb 21, 2004
id like to sign up!
The Captains office-sign up here!
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 21, 2004
*hands over five hundred pages of forms, all marked with JMC-logos*
Sign these and your welcome to join us!
The Captains office-sign up here!
*Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* Posted Feb 21, 2004
done...oh wait i missed one ok all done!
The Captains office-sign up here!
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 21, 2004
Thankyou.
*files the forms and then puts on a much friendlier face*
Welcome to the JMC mining vessel Red Dwarf.
*Rimmer-salute*
The Captains office-sign up here!
*Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* Posted Feb 21, 2004
so, what are my duties?
The Captains office-sign up here!
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Feb 21, 2004
Uhmmm... Well, uhmmm... errr... Duties? Yes, yes of course, duties, your duties, you 'want' me to assign you your duties? You want 'me' to assign you your duties? I mean, of course I'll assign you your duties, your du... uhhh, your duties are... you ...
Ah! you can go wipe of the popadom creature thats just smashed into a window just outside the medibay! The skutters seem to have gone AWOL.
(but, bring a bazookoid just incase the smegger is still alive)
The Captains office-sign up here!
Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted Posted Feb 21, 2004
Duties? 
The only one that does any work round here is Rimmer, oh and the Doc out of sheer necessity (and occasionally for a giggle 
)
The Captains office-sign up here!
*Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* Posted Feb 21, 2004
ok, im going in, im ready!
The Captains office-sign up here!
*Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* Posted Feb 21, 2004
oh, now they tell me! im hungry now
The Captains office-sign up here!
nanobot Posted Mar 24, 2004
navigation office nanobot requests permission to join the crew
The Captains office-sign up here!
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Mar 24, 2004
*crosses over navigation officer and writes in latrin cleaner*
Welcome aboard! Please fill out these forms.
*A large bulldozer pushes in a small mountain of papers*
The Captains office-sign up here!
Khamsin Posted Mar 28, 2004
I havw come to sign up... is this the french foreign legion by any chance??
The Captains office-sign up here!
Ace Rimmer [pretending] Posted Mar 28, 2004
No. This is the Jupiter Mining Corporation mining vessel red dwarf.
Still wanna join up?
The Captains office-sign up here!
Khamsin Posted Mar 28, 2004
*looks around*
what have I got to lose...
why not
Key: Complain about this post
The Captains office-sign up here!
- 641: Luthiena (Feb 17, 2004)
- 642: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 17, 2004)
- 643: Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted (Feb 17, 2004)
- 644: Luthiena (Feb 17, 2004)
- 645: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 18, 2004)
- 646: Luthiena (Feb 19, 2004)
- 647: *Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* (Feb 21, 2004)
- 648: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 21, 2004)
- 649: *Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* (Feb 21, 2004)
- 650: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 21, 2004)
- 651: *Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* (Feb 21, 2004)
- 652: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Feb 21, 2004)
- 653: Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted (Feb 21, 2004)
- 654: *Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* (Feb 21, 2004)
- 655: *Holly 'my duck is on fire' Hale* (Feb 21, 2004)
- 656: nanobot (Mar 24, 2004)
- 657: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Mar 24, 2004)
- 658: Khamsin (Mar 28, 2004)
- 659: Ace Rimmer [pretending] (Mar 28, 2004)
- 660: Khamsin (Mar 28, 2004)
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