h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here you are :

Greetings, oh child of Trillian. Jump right in and pick the thread

Kosh, I have been thinking about your clitoris if that isn't too forward of me .

I do remember once coming from no more than the touch of a feather on my labia. Ok, I was already pretty turned on, and I think blindfolds and things may have been involved, but the point remains. Sometimes close enough is - well - close enough.

Ben

Terry Pratchett once defined the subject thusly

"'Erotic' is when you use a feather. 'Kinky' is when you use the whole chicken"

Oh, at the risk of being accused of railroading this relatively deep and quite thoughtful discussion (yet also possibly at the risk of repeating something in the earlier posts), I must remind you of the words of Woody Allen :

'Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.'

Guess that's me in the humourists' enclosure, then!

TAL !

Hang your head in shame !

ok
can i throw a topic into the pot

champagne and oral sex


comments please

Do you mean from an alcohol point of veiw, the supposed aphrodisiac qualities, or the use of food ?

I've just lodged a request for frozen vodka

He gets to choose what flavour, K?

oh. sorry..
as an aid to pleasure... apparantly the bubbles........?

I have heard of a similar usage for menthol/minty things (as a hot/cold kind of sensation). Never tried either, though...

Wouldn't 7up work just as well ? (worked for Snow white...)

The menthol thing works a treat ! Mouthwash does the trick, as well as letting you have the option of using it afterwards, if that's important.

Hadn't thought of that option Might suggest it to the fiance and see what he says!

Mouthwash - would that kill two birds with one stone then ladies

It's win-win for everybody

ok then.. something else
soft fruit..
positioned inside female partner and eaten that way??
i'm getting suggestions from workmates here, who have never appeared to be the types to even have sexual encounters before!! you know the type....i have to press enter quick before someone turns off my computer

Mouthwash, champagne, or a good chili con carne. I suspect that soda water is as good as champagne and a lot cheaper. Less ambience of course, but why spoil the taste of good , and why put up with bad ?

Personally, I get the bubbles up my nose and start giggling, but I am assured it's worth it.

I bought some pain relief freezogel stuff the other day. It's good for general purpose fooling around, but there is no way I'd let it near any delicate parts.

*thinks*

Schnapps - surprisingly sticky, not great

Homeopathic Tincture of Calendular - contains a very pure alcohol, it's quite nice once it's calmed down, about half an hour after application!

Ice-cream - cold and sticky - not worth it imho, but whatever rocks your rocks

Lube - well - thats what its there for

Ben

Fruit can be good, but bear in mind what you're using, Gentlemen. SCRUPULOUS HYGEINE is the watchword. Don't go inserting anything unless you can guarantee it being germ free. They're our ladies, not toys. Look after every aspect of their safety. A rule of thumb is to never insert anyting you wouldn't put in your mouth.

Personally there is no way that I would put fruit or any kind of food inside myself. That would be asking for infections, and I don't fancy being anecdote-of-the-week for my GP again.

Ben