h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

PS. I have no competition. Why compete ? Just try and better yourself, I think.

It is possible that I should clarify at this point for the benefit of those who don't know me, that I am not now and never have been a bloke.

I am all sorts of things but first, last, and always, female!

Ben

What you were saying B -
to be honest - with me it falls right in there with tongues and breasts - I'd just rather they left my clitoris alone! Some chaps seem to think of it like an elevator button - if you push on it enough it will just send you to heaven! Eeeek!

What the guys need to realise is that some women are hyper-sensitive and others not so - so please dont go fumbling arround till you've sussed the sensitivity of the subject.

I just get clear upfront - leave it alone! ....please!

Kosh

How interesting! I am the opposite - or else I have been lucky in the guys I've let near enough. I love clitoral stimulation, but you are right - there most certainly can be too much of a good thing.

Mmmmm.

I think I am going to start paying attention to whether time of day, tiredness levels, time of month, etc, impact my sensitivity levels.

Certainly two of the best have been left-handed, which complimented my right handedness wonderously.

Interesting.

Ben

So, you'd rather they didn't try to get Radio 4 on it ?

Only on long wave!

Ben

That's interesting, Ben. I have often been complimented on my sensitive handling of a situation, as it were, AND I am left-handed. Hadn't considered it might be BECAUSE I'm left handed. Anybody have any thoughts one way or the other ?

Closest male equivalent is the head of a penis I think - imagine pinching or pulling (or biting) at that!

Clitoral stimulation is fine - but thanks but I'll do it myself! (and even then its more indirect than direct) Anyone just breathes on it wrong and I hit the roof. Its all down-hill from there so to avoid the inevitable I just veto the whole issue.
Of course that also means that I cannot abide receiving oral sex - so there's a thing - there ARE woman in the world who would prefer that you just didn't go down chaps!


Kosh

More advice - don't snore! (apparently)

"Warning: snoring can seriously damage your sex life"

http://society.guardian.co.uk/health/story/0,7890,1462514,00.html


az

sorry for the delay.. had to cook dinner.

back to the do's and dont's.

to any men who might need to know...
please dont suck on my nipples too much. my boobs havent got any sensitivity and unless i look down, i dont know what is being done to them.
the trouble is, that my nipples stll grow hard and the man thinks that is a good sign and continues to suck even more to make them bigger and harder..

WRONG !!!!!!

they then become to hurt like hell and despite giving very strong hints, this is where some men become deaf and carry on..

this is when i become a very unhappy bunny

Confucious say,


There is nothing so over-rated as a bad f**k...


or as under-rated as a good sh*t.

Been away for a few hours - 71 new posts!!! Considering that I only posted one nonsensical remark on the very first page or so...

Anyways - is there an Edited Guide Article in all this, do you think?

Y.

Doesn't what this tell us is that all women, and indeed all men, are different.

You can't read an article on 'how you please your woman in bed' but it won't work, there's only one person who can tell you how to please *your*woman, and the lucky thing is - she's right there in bed with you. You don't have to go anywhere.

Trying new things is great, but you have to see if she likes them - and she has to be comfortable with the things that you're trying.

Oh my god I'm realising that if I was reading this out loud I would be using my 'advice to patients' voice.

" there's only one person who can tell you how to please *your*woman, and the lucky thing is - she's right there in bed with you."

Woo! Threesome!

...

....

Oh. See what you mean.

B

Ready for another Fun-packed discussion ?

Don't know if Im in the team bit, but bring it on, great to find a genuinely informative and thought provoking thread with just the right balance of humour.

Pick up a thread from the preceeding Proceedings and run witht the ball, Dai

Re: talking about it. If I tell him what turns me on, and then he does it, I then think "he's only doing it because I told him". So it doesn't turn me on any more. So if I tell him too much I'm going to run out of buttons to push.

It's also no fun being "pleasured" by someone who's got themselves in an uncomfortable position - outside the warmth of the sheets even - to do it.

If he's doing something which normally rings your bell like crazy, but is obviously not enjoying it himself, or getting a crick in the neck doing it, and is obviously thinking "When the hell's she gonna come?" then it's going to be less successful than him doing something which is only second rate on the satisfaction side for the lady in question, but he's enjoying it himself so much that that's a turn-on in itself.

Guten Morgen, Frauline !
Actually a lot of guys are glad of the 'handbook approach', and jump at the chance of a few pointers. EVERY SINGLE ONE of us has their own outlooks, tastes, techniques, fetishes, turn offs and turn ons -(mine needd their own web site)and nobody can be expected to get it right all the time; ergo, a quiet pointer in the right direction, a few guidelines, are all for the best, provided it isn't done like you're directing traffic. Indeed, some of these 'breifing' sessions' over a glass of something appropriate in the right settings have led to some of the most explosive sex i've ever had.
Don't worry about telling the guy what you want - It can be the cause of the great sex in itself.
Thoughts ?