h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My toaster exploded just before it browned my seeded batch! Surely no more proof is needed?

Oh, My, BoB.... it is the the sign, the* sign, the sign that the toastalypse is but a buttered crumpet away!
we shall all be over-toasted to a burnt carbon mess by the giant toaster in the sky!

The electrician has told me my toaster is broken, and will toast no more.
But I have put bread in, and I have faith, I have belief, and I have trust........I have no toast as yet tho.

This luvley might join you for breakfast if you get it fixed properly...

http://skepacabra.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/i-love-jesus-toast-2.jpg

Mine was a pop-up version, but i may convert to the pop-out !

Mark your calendar!

May 21, 2011 is the beginning of the end!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life

As its pantomime season....

OH NO IT ISN'T

Lettuce spray and braise the Lord for the Breville toasty pie machine, for it cometh to crush the toasters who lie to you for you all knoweth that toasters are a work of evil that the second you go one nanomillimtere over "4" the pure bread hath been cremated and the stench and smoke doth set off the mournefull wailing banshee of the Smoky detector, heralding another bready soldier rising in smoke unto him in heaven - scorched, carbonised, black as coal and persecuted in an instant. And yea try many times...many many times.....many many many times to tame the Toaster, but each time the rewardeth is as napalm spread over the bread instead of low fat margerine and red red strawberry jammy stuff that was on offer at a loweth price at the corner shop and highly recommended by mr shopkeeper to end the pang of mucho munchiness of the post pub darkness time.
When the rupture doth cometh at the begining of the end (not the middle of the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning and moving into the beginning of the middle of the end) the holy Breville will descend with bread and ham and cheese and tomato and onion and chick peas and chocolate spread and all things most munchable that canth be placed on top of the bread, covered by another slice of bread and then the pulling down of the top plate until it locketh tight and most wonderous aromatics doth findeth their way into your smelling orifices to taunt your senses to giddy heights. The little light shall goeth out and then you release the lid and lift it off...and there is the work of the great lord Breville, for hath it not just made the most scrummytastic (sealed at the edges) toasty pie fit for even the most hardened munchymonster lurking in your pickled liver.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Cast off your lying toaster! Lettuce Spray at the plastic feet of the wondrouseth Lord Breville and marvel at his scrummy pie making facilities. Braise the Lord! Braise the Breville!!

<>

and what??? will be the excuse when it isn't!!!!.....oh! the calender was changed and now its.....?????/ god has forgiven us/ given us another chance/ new covenant???????!!!!!!

........Spring busted on the glorious toaster in the sky?

You mean I have to come up with a publicity stunt for May 21 of this year in addition to one for December 21 next year? I was having a hard enough time thinking up the latter.

Good news: Apparently JC has returned

He was even born on Christmas day

Sadly, He was reborn as a Chinchilla, and his daddy was his mother's son

He's back

Where?!

In the bottom of the fridge, in some gunge at the back that I hadn't cleaned in a few years...it's been amazing

I've an entire new lifeform, set of lifeforms, which appear to have evolved to quite an advanced state, in a tub of greek yoguart in my fridge at the momen! I want to throw it out... But I think they've already got as far as making basic tools and starting farming... It'd be like mass genacide to throw the yogart out now!

All is quiet.


Peacefull



Dull........




Until.......

The Doc, resplendent with Evil white Puss Cat on his shoulder in his freshly laundered, MOT'd, taxed, serviced, oil changed, tread checked and balanced "Pants Of Thrall" lands squarely (and Iron Manishly) at the end of this thread.

KABOOOOOOOOM!

*All furniture in the room is immediately blown all over the place, pot plants keel over and wallpaper peels from the wall as the gas does its awful work"

*Thinks - shouldnt have had that curry last night, I normally land with a dull SBD....Psssst....phutt*

Well..............Helooooo.......*Winks at lurkers*

I eeerrr..understand you have extraterrestrial (ish) activity in your fridge young sir? Something about making tools, digging, generally making a mess and having delusions of being well 'ard?

Have no fear - Doc is here! I 'appen to be the local door to door salesman for the Yoghurt Civilisation Removal Inc (limited liability, no names, no pack drill, alwight?)
You can of course adopt them, visit on the weekends and be their omnipresent "Bob" like figure to teach them right from wrong, good from bad, and whitch buy one get one free deals are the best!

*Twirls pantomime moustache, and sidesteps to exit stage right.......*

ARSE!!!!

where?

I thought Doc was landing at the *end* of this thread?

Gif