h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hello i am a bit new here so please be nice to me.

this looks like a place to Ask things what you cant Ask other places so can you help maybe

some poor filla came up to me & said

do you like

oral o flip?

so what shud i say?

LL

Hello and welcome to h2g2! Cripes, you sure are in at the deep end!

To answer your question: it depends.

Would you rather have a bad taste in your mouth or a sore rump?

If neither you should try to avoid this chap.

If the former you should say 'oral'.

If the latter you should say 'Flip'.

If both you should drop your knickers and get on your knees. He'll be pleased by this.

The good thing about getting on your knees first is that you can get an idea of how sore your rump will be.

Good luck!

thank you

what is rump?

LL

It's another word for bottom.

Here's a query for the gay penisers:

Do you think of yourself as 'gay' or does it seem natural to you that you would be attracted to those of the same sex as you? Can you imagine being attracted to the opposite sex?

I have slept with the opposite sex and quite enjoyed it. However, when I was at school I found myself staring lovingly at the nape of my best mate's neck (when I was lucky enough to sit behind him) and had another friend who let me suck his...

Maybe I shouldn't be saying this.

I was confused at school. I was, in retrospect, quite obviously gay, but it didn't really register. Maybe I was scared of being gay and all it entails. Maybe I just didn't realise that liking cock and wanting to shove your tongue up your mate's bum mean that you're probably gay.

I'm still not sure to what extent my sexuality is me and how much of it is habit. I went to a boys' school so was surrounded by boys, not girls, but enough of my schoolmates grew up straight for me to know that the boy's school thing wasn't the issue.

I am gay. I don't know why, and sometimes I wonder if it *is* just a habit of fantasy, but I also wonder if I'm only wondering that because, deep down, I just want the 2.4 children.

Me an' 'll have your kids for you, Roy

BEG

These things never work well! Getting the life juice to the baster always leads to carpet damage.

Thank goodness for laminate flooring

While we are in confession mode.....

Loopi-larf is a figleaf of my imagination, designed for one day only, April 1st & is now to be deleted (as far as is possible)

*But* it does show how easy it would be for a naïve youngster to wander in here; so we should be aware of that when posting. It seems the mods don't work weekends, plus auto mod can't handle double netentendré....

zdt

Yes ma'am! *salutes Terri*

Though I have to say...Roymondo's comment about increasingly hilly terrain had me in stitches. I've got to stop getting on here at work as my boss actually came in and asked me what was so funny. Thank God I'm the queen of improvisation lol.

Oh bob, I didn't really say what I said back there did I?

Cripes. Too mush information.

Roy mate, once again, no matter how excited you are, NEVER post in the willy thread after a few too many cans of Guinness.

*hangs head in severe embarrassment*

I share much of Roy's past except the boy's school part. The beauty of women is not lost on me, but the rush shared by Roy's description of seeing his mate's nape of the neck was spot on. Who knows what hot-wires us, but for me I can recall having "crushes" on other boys while I was in middle school. (ages 8-12) So it was in my nature since I can remember.
I have had four major long term relationships and still remain on very good terms with each person. The odd sojourn that has been my life since 19 (when I came out) and now at 50 has been a very sensual and rich experience. I also raised a son, been best mates with a very fine lady, and never been alone too long.

I don't know...I guess I just never paid much attention to gender when I found myself attracted to people. I guess rather than considering myself "Bisexual" and therefore out of the mainstream, I consider sexuality in general as natural, gender or orientation notwithstanding. It's just not an issue with me...loving someone is natural no matter who that someone happens to be. If that makes sense...

Of course I will say the bisexual experience is quite unlike the homosexual or heterosexual experience. We like everyone and every sexual orientation hates us equally lol.


>.>

<.<

*takes her foot out of her mouth and slowly moves away toward her *

Juice, I've been playing with juice any thoughts any one?

Going back to "nape of neck"....

I remember reading a book when i was about 7, hell, i've still got it now. It had a profound effect on me. One of the passages described a young girl & how her hair parted to reveal the vulnerable nape of her neck. This was a kids story! It totally threw me & to this day, the nape of neck thing gets to me totally, whether it's someone elses (male, female, no difference) i want to kiss it, if someone kisses mine, i totally dissolve in a heap.

Ah! Found the book:

"An episode of sparrows" by Rumer Godden. Well worth reading, believe me.

zdt

Sends lovely shivers down my spine, to be gently stroked or kissed at the back of my neck. (Not native english, please, where is 'nape' of neck?)


QN

As far as I understand it, it's the bit where your hair stops, basically where your spine joins your head.

There is something about that bit being gently kissed or nuzzled .

Can't say as I've ever been fascinated with *looking* at it, though. I've always been more of an eyes person, to be honest.

Up until the west differentiated sexuality into a very narrow definition of what was normal, people went about and had a very fun time having congress with one another. I just finished reading Jonathan Spence's, The Chan's Great Continent. It is a very good series of essays about how the west has seen China through its own eyes, wherein the early Jesuits (15th century) despaired how the Chinese indulged in sodomy without a scintilla of shame.
We are sensual and sexual beings who find ourselves in a very curious state wherein public discussion such as this has to be very circumspect as not to offend or border on lewdness. I often find myself thinking back to when I first started to to feel the real pressure of not appearing to be sensitive or effeminate. I felt sorry for a boy named Rodger who wasn't athletic and was often teased as being a woos or sissy. I couldn't defend him because had I done so the response would have been, oh so you are his boyfriend?
I share this because I grew up in a time when gay-bashing was common, and being gay I knew I had to learn to fight and appear just like any other guy. The cost of that has been an inability to feel safe if a lover wishes to hold hands in public. I can only wonder what restraints straight men feel as to what they feel safe in terms of how far they can express their emotions or what is normative male behavior.
Although the media has portrayed gays more or less with some care, there is still a very commonly held ambivalence and discomfort with having to deal with real homosexual men and women in one's circles of life. Will it change? Perhaps, but for now it is still a very real issue that no gay or lesbian can ignore.

I don’t understand the fuzz some stupid a**h*l*s make about other persons sexual preferences. What happens voluntarily and in full consent between two sober adults is rareley, if ever, of anyone else’s concern.

The only time in my life I sort of bothered was when I realised that a man I cared a lot about preferred male company at certain occasions. That was because I was, well, disappointed since I wanted to be his company, so to say. I got over that and we’ve been close friends for many years since.