h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Experimenting with the effects of alcohol and abstinence currently. Will report back when I'm sure my research has been thorough enough

Hmm. We all seem to be in the doldrums. I am doing my best here, purely in the interests of research of course. When i was "younger" (GRR I am not yet ready for : see Zandra Rhodes, Joanna Lumley, Jane Birkin et al) a certain type of uncouth youth used to refer to going out & eyeing up the local talent as "clocking the crack." Nice eh; guaranteed to ensure he gets off with a highly intelligent, sensitive female.

So it occurred to me tonight that if female (or indeed gay male) does likewise, it could be usefully termed "clocking the cock"; an equally explicit & somewhat predatory unpleasant term. So that's what i did. A small sample admittedly & it's a small town, but it's bloody France for gawds sake, you would expect hunky types to be lined up wall to wall; we are not expecting them to be displaying all their charms in designer loincloths. Yet.

Total score of possibles i would consider: 2. One is probably dismissed as appearing to be on the verge of needing an Intensive Care unit or doing serious research into "facial expressions of utter boredom in the 21st century"

Second is interesting, has not so much a face as skin stretched tightly over very sharp cheekbones. Unfortunately has arm round female best described as "Queen of Chav"; who looks even more bored than Number One. Probably 'cos Skull doesn't appear to have mastered speech yet, or at least, not with her.

Meanwhile i am sitting with D, who is quite possibly the most boring man on the planet. but he has a very nice dog & he bought me a drink.

I hate this dating crap.

zdt

There were bus shenanigans today...where's the most public place *you've* had shenanigans?

Great word, that...

Pool table in Middle Eastern country where you get beheaded or stoned to death for even "simple" adultery.

zdt

The best I've managed was a bin room.

Down Stage Centre in a Repertory Theatre. With a follow-spot and Wagner's Ring Cycle playing in the background.

That takes some beating SWL!!!!

zdt

It helps when you're a theatre manager.

Probably the most sensual was in a (huge) costume hamper filled with fur coats.

Well it would've been comfortable and warm at least

Very Tickly

there's nothing wrong with a good tickle Was there an audience in the theatre at the time?

On the beach at Weston

Beaches are ba-ad. (So are golf course bunkers actually) Sand gets everywhere.

No, the theatre was closed at the time. I do know a funny story about a girlfriend, a basque and a performance of Loves Labours Lost in front of an audience though

>Probably the most sensual was in a (huge) costume hamper filled with fur coats.

Leo Sayer would have liked that.

(sorry, you won't understand that unless you at down at my level of TV-viewing)

In a study room at uni. During the summer, so nobody was about.

If it's Weston as in Weston-Super-mare Anold, if i remember rightly it wouldn't be sand that's the problem but mud, glorious mud! Could be good fun!

Like the sound of the furry hamper...

zdt

Hmm...on the sand dunes (never again! The sand problem). In the back of the car. In the front of the car (not moving! although I knew someone who claimed they did). In the woods.

Places I still haven't done it but want to: in a swimming pool, in a hot tub, in a supermarket, on the stairs.

RF

In an orchestra pit. With an audience. A celebrity audience. I took a bow afterwards.

And, on another occasion, in a phone booth in Paris. Got accosted by the gendarmes and had to show passports - and I guess got off with a caution.

Nice one

I had a friend who claimed to have done it with a double bass player ...




in the case for his double bass

Did he Tuba?