Everybody likes games. And all of us like to travel. Here's a travel game.

Instructions

• Print out the game, or lay your laptop flat.
• Use a die to determine how many spaces your Hitchhiker moves forward.
• Use a coin or other counter to move around the board. Your tardis keychain ornament will do nicely – or that Dalek salt shaker you got for Christmas.
• As many as like can play at once. First person to reach Earth wins.

Play

1. Start from HOME. Collect 35 Altairian dollars. Take your Guide with you.
2. You're lucky: a bus comes by. Move ahead five spaces.
3. You stop at Buckingham Palace and apply for a job with the Queen. Roll the die: even, you get one, odd, you don't. If you get a job, you have to stay and work, so sit out one turn.
4. You get a bargain on a train ticket, but you have to get past the striking railway employees. Roll the dice: even, move ahead one space. Odd, go back one.
5. You end up in Southampton. Use the Guide to find out the ancient Roman name of the place, and then move on to the fabled Isle of Wight.
6. Walk the Isle of Wight Coastal Path, desperately trying to get off this island. Meet Bluebottle (he's the wizard in the pointy hat). Roll the dice: even, he tells you everything he knows about Sophie Dawes, and you sit out one turn, odd, you escape and travel on.
7. You go to Antwerp, Belgium   – and it's not boring at all! Sample the pommes frites and move happily two more squares.
8. You knew something would go wrong in France. When you get to Paris, you realise you forgot your towel. Return home to get it, and start over.
9. In Germany, you sample the beer and order a Westphalian Toasted Cheese Sandwich. It has magical properties – move ahead two spaces.
10. You take the night train to Romania. There you wave garlic at vampires, admire the works of Constantin Brancusi, and enjoy some tasty sarmale. Then you move on to Greece.
11. At Delphi, consult the oracle. Roll the dice: even, you move ahead five spaces. Odd, you miss one turn, then move ahead one.
12. At Athens, you need a boatman to take you from Piraeus, but he's too busy losing money at tavli. Roll the dice: if you get higher than 3, you have enough to pay him and move on. If not, wait a turn .
13. In Israel, you put on your Indiana Jones hat and go looking for David and Goliath. Then you have a cold drink before moving on. L'chaim!
14. You're in the Gambia. Do some birdwatching, then head south.
15. In South Africa, you observe the Greyheaded Kingfisher. You get so interested, you lose track of time. Miss one turn.
16. At Mumbai, you learn about buying a rail ticket in India. Fortune is with you: double your die score to move on.
17. HELP! You are stranded on the Maldives. Roll an even score to escape.
18. The cane toad afflicts you in Australia. Use your towel to swat at the beasts, and move ahead one square only.
19. Ah, that's better. New Zealand offers Hangi, a real feast. Almost like the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Enjoy, move along.
20. We don't know what happened to Amelia Earhart, but we know that ukuleles are fun. Play, sing, have a luau. Then roll the die: even, move ahead. Odd, move that number back. (Watch out for those cane toads!)
21. In San Francisco, you view a crooked street. California's a big state: take your time. Move ahead only one square in the next turn.
22. Start across the US on Route 66. Moving fast: double your die roll, the subtract one for car trouble.
23. Meet some h2g2ers in St Louis, and argue about how to pronounce it. Then go to a Cardinals baseball game. Roll the die: even, it ends on time, you leave. Odd, there were extra innings, and you'll have to sit out one turn.
24. In Florida, visit Fort Foster. Enjoy the beaches, but watch out for the alligators! Head north.
25. Drive north until you see the Gaffney Peachoid. Then you'll know you're leaving South Carolina. Stop to eat a peach, but not for long. Keep moving.
26. Philadelphia is a historic city. Roll the die: Even, go ahead that number of spaces. Odd: go back and revisit.
27. You're in New York City! Visit the Brooklyn Bridge, admire the Statue of Liberty, take in a show.
28. You're on a city tour. Toronto's the coolest. Enjoy the view. Canadians are helpful and friendly: add one to your die roll to move on.
29. Have a great time on the Dublin Statue Trail. Don't get lost.
30. What's Irish for 'help'? You've fallen into the River Bann at Coleraine. The h2g2ers aren't helping. All they're doing is singing. What's that? Oh, move ahead and dry off once you've read about 'Danny Boy'. They'll even buy you a drink at the local pub.
31. Speaking of pubs: you've made it to Manchester. It's raining, so what else is new? You might as well have a pint at Port Street.
32. DISASTER STRIKES in the Port Street pub. You make the mistake of ordering a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. Sit out two turns while you try to remember where your towel is.
33. You're in Yorkshire, though you haven't sobered up enough yet to worry about this. See a few castles, then go find an airport.
34. You're in Sweden. A stay at the ice hotel finally cures you of the PGGB hangover. Continue carefully on your journey – you're almost home!
35. In Pamplona, Spain, you run with the bulls. Even: You outrun them, and move on. Odd: Ouch. A short stay in hospital is called for. Sit out one turn.
36. You've stopped by on Lanzarote. See the sights.
37. You've reached the coast of Wales. Stop to learn how to pronounce Bwlch. If you've rolled even, they've stopped laughing. If odd, go back to Lanzarote.
38. A quick trip to Glasgow, just to see the sights. You're on the home stretch!
39. You discover some delicious snacks hidden in a corner of your towel. These give you the strength to finish your journey.
40. Gack! There's a science fiction monster on the road to London. Go back the number you roll, minus 1 for the snacks.
41. A friendly spaceman happens by and gives you a lift home. How's that for hitchhiking? Sail on through the final space.
42. Sail on through, you've earned it!

Once you're safely home, have a PGGB or two to celebrate.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

15.04.13 Front Page

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