h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Culdasac breaks free of the grappling hook wire and kicks Mystrunner in the face. How did you throw poison at me when you are holding me in the air and swinging your sword at me. You can't do two things at once. Culdasac pulls out one of his remote mines and puts it down Mystrunners shirt. He pulls out the detenator and pushes the button!*

I got confused by Loderunner's monkeys biting me in the shins. I figured I was on the ground by then, I guess. Oh, and it would probably be better if you didn't hit the detonator right away. Otherwise, you could kill on the first blow.

*The blasts catch Mystrunner in the chest, throwing him backwards through the air. The blast rips the enamle off the mithril armour that he is wearing, and burns holes in his nice cloak, but little beyond that.*

"thud"

That... hurt.

*The darts, recently hanging in the air due to an undue amount of confusion, decide to resume their original courses after a small debate and bipartisan election*

"No More Bannas!"

*Enraged, Sir Stu goes on a rampage taking huge swings at every monkey in sight, and after sending them flying (possibly to next thursday) he eats others*

"HAHAHA 'Great Green Globs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts, Mutilated Monkey Meat, Little Dirty Birdy Feet..."

Others begin to realise that Sir Stu is on edge

*edges nervously away from Stu*

*loderunner falls on his back and is affected by the postion, luckly one of my monkeys runs to culdacac and rips off his anditote and throws it at me and i drink it and hop up*

Thanks lodeunner the 1st (monkey's name)

*Culdasac looks at stu, who has now eaten his monkeys!*

You ate my monkeys!! Now you'll pay!

*Culdasac pulls out his monkey prod and runs at stu, he starts to shock him*

*Staggers through. Gets a stray hit from monkey prodder*

Aaaaaaaaawooooo! That's shocking (so's the pun)

*staggers off again emmiting little blue lightning bolts with every step*

Woooo the monkey prodder is a nuisance!

Stay aways for that prodder!

"This really (Buzz) hurts (Buzz) (Buzz)"

*Sir Stu puts on some rubber gloves and pulls out two handed spoon*

"The spoon now acts as a lightning rod thing, and so I won't be shocked anymore"

*Sir Stu swings at Sir Culdesac with the charged spoon*

"Take some zapping of your own!"

*Sir Culdasac gets shocked by the spoon*

Hey! That hurt!
*Culdasac turns his attention to Mystrunner, he runs over to him and shocks him. He then pulls out his pet cage and shoves Mystrunner into it*

Get out of that, you...you.....thing

*Due to the electric current running through Mystrunner's armour, the induced current is directly inverse to the charge of the taser, thus heaving Culdasac into the cage too, and pusing Mystrunner out.*

PHYSICS IS LIFE!

*Cuts prod in half*

Hey Stu! Hor de'hourves!

*Culdasac opens up the cage and climbs out.*

Ok, that is it. I am though with your cheating. There is no way you can beat this.
*Culdasac pulls out his monkey flute and toots it. All 90 of his monkeys come towards Mystrunner. Culdasac at this time has taken out his other coil of rope and tied Mystrunner's hands behind his back.*

Take that!

*The pent up charge of stu's spoon and Mystrunner's armour discharges into an enourmous form of chain lightning. It bursts out, and flies through the mass of fur, stunning them.*

HOO WAH!

*Begins to kick Sir Culdasac in the shins.*

Just a flesh wound!

*Culdasac falls to the ground, but quickly gets back up. He then pulls out his dart gun and fires a poison dart at Mystrunner. With his hands still tied behind his back Mystrunner now has poison flowing through his body.*

Awake my monkeys. Destroy him now!

*The monkeys get up and continue their attack.*

*The antidote circulating through Mystrunner's system cancels out the effect of the poison. The knots slip out after the intense wiggling that had been going on, and, with a flash and a burst of smoke, Mystrunner and Stu vanish. The now enraged and lightly toasted monkeys turn and begin to attack Loderunner and Sir Culdasac.*

*Poof*

"HeHe, we are gone...gone...gone"

Yea go away because we defeated you!

*Loderunner again calls his monkeys to gather and surround lode and Culdasac in a protective circle*

*Loderunner feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around just in time to catch a fist flung from Mystrunner, sending him sprawling. Culdasac turns around, and Mystrunner is behind him, wrapping his wrists in a tight cord, securing him. Then, Mystrunner dissapears under a small mobile hoard of monkeys.*


ARRRRGG!!

*loderuner wips the blood off his face and stands, next he tells the monkeys on Myst to beat him in to sumition*

Myyy Monkeysssss hooooo haaaaa

*loderuner wips the blood off his face and stands, next he tells the monkeys on Myst to beat him in to sumition*

Myyy Monkeysssss hooooo haaaaa