h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think Lurcher's vote counts in Unkker's favour, I'm just not sure he got the right end of the stick, but rules are rules.

The chap has spoken, dash it.

By Jove ..... I think the blighter has wriggled out of it by some fluke !

...... and I was so looking forward to a good public flogging

*enters through skylight*

a leftie? oh good gracious me no! whatever gave you that impression?

mumblemumblemumblefoundlessaccusationsmumblemumblemumblejointherevolutionmumblemumblemumble

Ah Unkers - Scount's honour ?

Yes .... Jolly good.

Glad we straigthened that out then.

wasnt it YOU who brought the whole ficticious matter up? why yes, i do believe it was. there is my gauntlet, sah!

I say. Chaps?
Let's keep this orderly, what?

Simply not cricket otherwise.

Yes precisely, i second Inkers request, no noise louder than the rustling of The Times, if you please.

Actually old man it was another Chap who first raised the possibility of your political persuasion. Uncannily it happened to be the same Chap that rearranged your sports car

..... you did know about your sports car didn't you. Had a run in with a Spitfire. The absence of any offensive weaponry whatsoever made it somewhat of an uneven contest. I believe we managed to rescue a hubcap.

Did someone say Austin Healy....

I thought the chap was a Rugger player don'tyerknow....



Bassers

Er... yes, Rugger.
Had a chap on the board once who was a fantastic runner, dontcherknow. Ears like hot cross buns too.

Not that I'm overly grateful for any tangent that takes us off the subject of Unker's damaged property and allegations of his political persausions, you understand...

Ahem, yes quite ...... perhaps time to draw a line under the whole shabby affair what. No doubt someone will dig the secret up in a hundred years and right a bally bestseller about it !

I hear that a candidate for membership is on their merry way down here. Sharpen your pencils and your wits Chaps and look lively.

Would that be that Legend chappie?
Just took a quick look at his, erm, background, doncherknow.
Talks a lot about life being like a trip to the khazi, it would seem.
Strange fellow, but then, aren`t we all?
Could prove interesting, what!!

*Puts a bottle of McLurchers Ultimate Blend within easy reach*

Take care with this stuff chaps..It`s a touch on the penetratin` side!

Crivens, Lurcher, old fruit ... when you said penetratin' I didn't mean yer meant to that extent ... damn near soiled my long johns.

Bally fine vintage mind you ... prolly time for another snifter before that new sort polls up ... sinuses haven't felt so clear in years. Not since flying through that cloud of mustard gas ...

Gorn into the blending business then I see Lurchers ..... fighting off the threat posed by Glen Wobble no doubt eh . Good man !

Now here's a thought old boy .... put a bottle of Glen Wobble and a bottle of Glen McLurcher's on the table and offer candidate types a swift snorter before we get into the interviewing thingy. If they go for the Glen Wobble we'll blackball them in a jiffy what !

Blending? Oh these mass producers. Just to mention the word in the vicinity of the noble Glen Wobble amounts to something vile, like kicking the archbishop of C., you know...
Talkin' about the good stuff, how 'bout havin' a wee one?

Et tu, Redders? Oh well, there's all the more for me then.

Well maybe just for *ahem* experimentation purposes then old gel

That's the spirit!