h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I fear I startled the old boys somewhat, poppin' into last sanctuary and retreat like a whatyoucallit. Mustn‘t startle old boys. Not the done thing, you know.
Sink down into armchair quietly, adoptin‘ passively ornamental attitude and have drop of something. Several drops. Splendid.
Become part of club tradition in good time. No hurry. Have another. Oh quite.All sedate.The times, they are NOT a-changin. That is, not very much.

Here's to stagnation!

Right you are, old chap, i'll gladly drink to that. A double whiskey and not too bloodymuch soda. Here is to not stirring any waters, hate a stir.

I know i'm only a girl but Iwas just thinking you ought to have an old boys tie shouldn't you and a motto.Old hootonians and all that what.

I have one. *indignant glare* It may look like a chewed piece of string, but is the genuine bogus article nonetheless. Motto, oh yes, motto, i thought that was selfunderstood. VVV! What else!

Yes, and this is not a vomit stain down the front of my shirt, though it may look like one.
The paisley's faded a bit but the maroon stripes still have their dazzling hue.

Proud to say most of the chaps are Old Harrumphians.

*harrumphs*

Indeed!

HarrrRRRRRrrrr-UMPH!!!

Haaarrrrrrrrumph!

*hat falls orf*

Haaaaaarrrrrrumph !!!

That feels a lot better.

Splendid

Pip pip.

i say, im back. what? what? WHAT?

That's perfectly rippin' old man.

Don't know the chap from Adam, but what the heck.

*urgently whispers to everyone in a panic*

My Gord ..... it's bally Unkkers ..... the bally sports car is parked outside with the remains of a Spit embedded in it .....

*swears mightily*

im on the run from some bolivian chappies...dont quite know why. something to do with a chihuahua and a diamond studded appendix, what? id awfully like to lie low at the club, what?

now chihuahuas are perfectly pukka company, but consorting with dagos is a blackballing offence, what? Unless, unless ... How big are the diamonds?

Would love to accommodate you old Chap but you see someone has raised the thorny topic of your political persuasion. Don't believe it meself but apparrently you're a Leftie, doncherknow.

Anyhow old man to cut to the chase and all that perhaps you'd make your way over to the Membership Committee at F82982?thread=261483&latest=1 and have a chin wag with a few of the Top Chaps and we can get all this sorted out in a tick or two.

Splendid - that's that straigthened out then.

Yes, take your political differences to the other room. No row. Hate row. Said so before. Leave the diamonds here with me. That's the ticket!

Yes and do something with those chihuahua's will you - one of the little blighters has run orf with a best cuban of mine that that Clinton chappie who tried to join the Club gave me. Odd fellah - desperate to join but obviously not quite the rite type for this fellowship!

Still damn good cigar .... strange stains on it though as I seem to recall !

Where is that damn Dog !