h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sequesters the rocket fuel from the drinks cabinet and borrows it for use in The Strand Underpass*

I've an idea.....

*gets out a car jack and inserts it under the rock*

*starts pumping on it to raise the rock*

*runs down into the basement, and using a discarded chainsaw, saws around Aximill's indentation in the ceiling.*

With a small shower of rubble and debris, Aximili is released, mostly intact.

*Aximili falls flat on his face*

Ow...I think I broke something...

*Reaches underhim and pulls out a snapped carrot that he'd had in his pocket. There is, for some reason, canned laughter and a'wah wah waaaah' sound effect.*


That was...odd.

Yes it was..I didn't realise they was any fuel left in this thing. Maybe it runs on mouse droppings....

the rock which I had been generously trying to release Axi from under rolls off the car jack and onto my foot....



OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

*pulls foot out (Thank goodness for steel toe-capped boots ) and hop around the room a bit*

*&%* *^%*

If you need anything amputated we now have a chainsaw....

No thanks Clive...my foot is much better now...

*forces self to stop limping*

Sure? It's quick and painless.

*watches Johnny carefully*


Are you practicing to join the Ministry of Silly Walks? I must say, yours is very good.

Clive YES I'm sure it dosen't hurt a bit *supreses wince*

Axi - NO, it's jsut that using your foot to stop a 1/2 tonne boulder damaging the BoE is a *tad* painful...

The cure for almost everything: amputation at neck level.

only *almost* everything CD...?

It doesn't necessarily cure death.

And to think I missed all that.

Yeah. It's a damn shame.

Seems to be a dead thread lately? We have 4 dozen butlers, and none of them are dead.

*Shoots a Butler*

Correction 47 Butlers

That's better.

*pulls out chainsaw*

Let the party begin!