A Conversation for The Manifesto for the Campaign to rename Thursday, "Thing"
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Chronos Posted Dec 21, 2007
Items needed:
1. lots of booze
2. a few butlers
3. a twist of lemon
4. and the powdered essence of fourteen dead message boards
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. Posted Dec 21, 2007
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Chronos Posted Dec 22, 2007
What the butlers or the message boards???
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG Posted Dec 22, 2007
I needed to kill some butlers just so that I could enjoy the suffering more.
*pulls arms off of butler*
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Galigan Posted Dec 29, 2007
*watches from the executive balcony as his delicately crafted plans are flagrantly ignored by the ignoramuses below. Shakes head in despair and turns to go, resolving not to return unless and until things start to pick up around here, and people stop thinking that slaughtering all the butlers is cool*
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG Posted Dec 31, 2007
No, I'm pretty much done for a while, I just had to thin out some of the numbers so they don't die.
Wait, what? WHY?
...
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Phaid the Deranged (and silly) Posted Jan 16, 2008
Phaid wanders in, mutters under his breath "incumbered by idjets, we pressed on", and proceeds to shoot Cosmic in the leg for missing a very vital point.
"You might want to get that looked at. AND START ACTING LIKE PEOPLE WITH A PLAN, YOU NITS!!! You do have a plan, don't you? WELL, YOU SHOULD BY NOW!"
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG Posted Jan 16, 2008
Nah, I'm fine, and I forgot what we should be planning.
I do have a general plan: Plan for something insufficiently, send others to do it, and blame the failure on their failure to account for my lack of respect for their lives.
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Phaid the Deranged (and silly) Posted Jan 18, 2008
"For the love of...!!!" Phaid reverses his grip on his very heavy pistol, beats the bejeezus out of cosmic (who has lost all sense of proportion and direction), does it AGAIN with EMPHASIS, and turns his attention to Galigan, waiting in the wings, and begins to both scream and throw very heavy (and possibly explosive) things in his direction.
"What in the HE...CK have you been doing?! Someone has got to keep these idiots in line!!! I go away for awhile, and you let thing run amok. What would Douglas think? They'd all be dead by now! Pay attention, boy!"
Phaid draws his very fine pistols and starts shooting (just to get things back on track, don't you know!)
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG Posted Jan 18, 2008
I think I purposely blocked those so I would get enhanced other senses.
Now I don't know what to do with them.
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Galigan Posted Jan 19, 2008
Cosmic, no-one has the foggiest what you are banging on about. Do something productive or shut the hell up.
*considers the explosives coming his way for a moment. He counts 10, and smiles wickedly. With a deft flick of his hands a pair of revolvers emerge from somewhere in the depths of his sleeves, and taking careful aim detonates each of the airborne explosives with a deadly accurate bullet. The air around the edge of the executive balcony is now filled with smoke and falling debris, not to mention flames. From the centre of these flames shoots a shape shrouded in a long cloak or coat, which upon approaching the floor unfolds to reveal Galigan who, after the most controlled and elegant of commando rolls as he hits the floor, leaps for the centre of the boardroom table and brandishes one revolver each at Cosmic and at Phaid.*
Now boys, if you can count to 10 you'll have noticed how many shots I've fired. And if you know anything about revolvers you'll know that 2 of them hold 12 bullets. Simple maths, though for you it may be quite difficult, should inform you that there are 2 bullets left, one in each gun. Now, who's feeling lucky, and who wants to come up with a new plan of action for the boardroom before I redecorate the wood panelling with the insides of their head?
*Galigan's gaze shifts from Phaid to Cosmic*
And Cosmic, if you ignore my cleverly thought through schemes again I shall show you that a man can be forced to eat his own face. Believe me, it's not a pretty sight.
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG Posted Jan 20, 2008
I don't ignore them! I just don't notice them!
Blame my bong! Not me!
Let's see, evil, mayhem, how about trying to come up with a way for Uwe Boll to make 3 times the horrible video game-based movies?
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Galigan Posted Jan 20, 2008
*weighs the revolver in his hand as he considers Cosmic's idea*
Hmmm... implanting mindless violence into the minds of today's youth via videogames. It's been done, but unintentionally. I see an opening here for some serious mind manipulation and a nice amount of resulting lawsuits... actually that's not your idea that's mine, but the inspiration came from you. Most pleasing. As for your movie idea, if could work but let it take a back seat, I grow weary of rubbish films in the cinema.
*Galigan lowers his revolver*
How do we find these sick minded people that make these games? Actually we can provide the sickmindedness. Butler, find me a programmer!
*A butler hurries off to find a phone book and a phone, and Galigan considers him as he leaves.*
Although I don't approve of uncreative and unproductive butler slaughter... that could be a good basis for our first gaming venture. And researching it would be very amusing.
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Phaid the Deranged (and silly) Posted Jan 23, 2008
Well, good. At least there's something going on. Though I would caution against once again losing all focus on wanton butler maiming. Good idea for a game, though. And we could do two versions! In one, the player could be destroying butlers and wreaking havoc. In the other, the player could be the butler, and everyone is out to kill him! Both would have heavy subliminal messages in them, of course. We could give the latter version to world leaders! Wouldn't that be a hoot? Have all of the leaders of major countries around the world suddenly become completely paranoid that everyone is out to get them? Think of the CHAOS!!! Mwahhaha!
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Galigan Posted Jan 23, 2008
I like the idea of implanting paranoia into the minds of the world leaders. Could result in all sorts of funzies. I reckon if we get into the spy kit business first, and possible the weapons supply business too, then we could make a killing if any war results from that. And if it doesn't we could just start a war ourselves and blame it on Iran, America'll jump on that bandwagon faster than a fat kid on an ice cream truck.
Or failing that we just give the weapons to kids on the street, promoting street violence and chaos in the home. Mustn't forget our roots after all.
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG Posted Jan 24, 2008
Would we at least put Thingite propaganda in it?
We are on a Thingite thread, why not further two causes with one DVD?
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Phaid the Deranged (and silly) Posted Jan 25, 2008
The only problem I see with advertising ourselves is making ourselves a target. No, I think it better to stay behind the scenes.
As for the idea of getting into the weapons market, kudos to you Galigan! Fantastic idea! Were we to start investing in them now, selling them to both major countries AND kids on the street, I think our game will play out in a much more spectacular fashion in the long run. Wonderful!
I'll start talking to my contacts in the former USSR, you guys see what you can do around here. I'm sure I can come up with some really great toys!
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Galigan Posted Jan 25, 2008
Also we can do a game/product tie in, so the kids can slaughter butlers in the game with a particular weapon, then go and buy said weapon from a street vendor and use it in real life against their friends. Brilliant.
As for Thingite propaganda, acknowledging that it could lead people back to us there is still scope for subliminal propagandering. At the least we could have all the characters in the game say the word 'thing' a lot.
And on another topic I've been listening to Russell Brand recently and he's both popular and revolutionist. While some of his ideals may be a little too... bohemian for our goals, those of the Boardroom I mean, for the less extreme of the Thingites he could be a good vehicle for promoting Thingite lore. I'll get my contacts to liase with his.
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Phaid the Deranged (and silly) Posted Jan 25, 2008
Excellent idea! Matching fictional weapons with ones in real life. Perhaps, by way of branding, all of our weapons (both in the game and in real life) could have an logo. I do like the subliminal idea, as well. As for saying thing a lot, perhaps it could be used in place of certain profanity words, or as an exclamation of victory. That would put the idea in their heads linking "things" with victory. As more people buy the game and start to exhibit proper (Thingite) behavior, we could put out a new version. At moments of victory, the character could exclaim "Thingite", and in another version later on, "I am a Thingite"
Conversely, all of the people in the "adult" version could be doing the exact opposite, therefore instilling fear that "The Thingites are Coming!"
We might want to recruit a few new members, though.
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG Posted Jan 25, 2008
Please don't shoot me for making this remark, but having the words "adult version" and "coming" in the same sentence makes me think something else...
Key: Complain about this post
The Boardroom of E-vil, Plotting and General Mayhem
- 17501: Chronos (Dec 21, 2007)
- 17502: Clive the flying ostrich: Amateur Polymath | Chief Heretic. (Dec 21, 2007)
- 17503: Chronos (Dec 22, 2007)
- 17504: Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG (Dec 22, 2007)
- 17505: Galigan (Dec 29, 2007)
- 17506: Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG (Dec 31, 2007)
- 17507: Phaid the Deranged (and silly) (Jan 16, 2008)
- 17508: Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG (Jan 16, 2008)
- 17509: Phaid the Deranged (and silly) (Jan 18, 2008)
- 17510: Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG (Jan 18, 2008)
- 17511: Galigan (Jan 19, 2008)
- 17512: Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG (Jan 20, 2008)
- 17513: Galigan (Jan 20, 2008)
- 17514: Phaid the Deranged (and silly) (Jan 23, 2008)
- 17515: Galigan (Jan 23, 2008)
- 17516: Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG (Jan 24, 2008)
- 17517: Phaid the Deranged (and silly) (Jan 25, 2008)
- 17518: Galigan (Jan 25, 2008)
- 17519: Phaid the Deranged (and silly) (Jan 25, 2008)
- 17520: Cosmicdudeman-Thingite Minister of Certain Substances, LFG (Jan 25, 2008)
More Conversations for The Manifesto for the Campaign to rename Thursday, "Thing"
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."