h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

VERY impressive.

*LSSM glows with appreciation and eyes Bluebottle speculatively, (through the monocle)
*walks back 200 yards, careers towards the polish again and....
*3 backflips, 2 somersaults, several cartwheels(using all three arms), hits the polish and
shoots off, out of sight, down the tunnel...
*distant thump and a howl
*races back pursued by very angry Floegratha Beast

Don't worry LSSM, the Floegratha Beasts are afraid of forward rolls. If you roll away from them, they'll be scared and leave you alone.

But you really are a STAR - definately needed for the show.

Hi, I'm back from the holidays, been to Jurassic Park and this Dinosaur keeps following me.
Can I leave it here somewhere?
You can use it for the circus, it can swallow people...

Really? That sounds like a GREAT trick Hannah!
Is it a T-Rex? Just helps if we know these details so I can feed it properly etc.

I think it's a velociraptor (?). But it's very cute!

Well, if it's cute, then it's definately a must! Just train it to only eat the customers AFTER they've paid.

*no backlog was read here, but this is happening all the same:*

*A probe, so small one can't see it (meaning it's from Pr. C. Tonks), silently hovers around. After identifying its target, it zooms infront of Hannah, and begins to emit a voice...*





*the probe flies off, but leaves a floating globe of light where it was, leading to:*
http://www.h2g2.com.A302608

I also found a invisible monster. You can't see it, touch it, smell it or hear it.
The good thing is you don't have to feed it and if you lose it, noone will notice it's gone.
When will the circus start?
I think we have enough artists and monsters now.

The dinosaur is only cute as long as it sleeps, as soon as it wakes up it's a unstopable killermachine.

An unstoppable killing machine? Sounds just what we need.
So, when do we start the circus? Well - as soon as I know that we're up and running again, as we were quite quiet for a long time. We'll begin again.
New thread for the open circus.

*being very loud*
I hope we'll be able to start soon...
(I'm running out of monsters to saw up or feed my lions and dinosaurs)

We've still plenty of McDinosolds left. They are the type of monster which hamburgers are made out of.

I've always thought hamburgers are made of rats!!
(I hope styx won't read this)

No, hamburgers aren't made of rats! That's what the sausages are made out of....

*red eyes glow from side channel*

OK I visit with rats in sewers? Need instructions to avoid monster reservation.

*arrives breathless, takes out Golden Arches sign with blue laser beams from eyes just to practise and to remind everyone of the onboard weaponry*

OK, I'm here. Gives us a clue as to the whereabouts of your monsters, BB, or there won't be many left for your circus.

*grins at Styx*

The monsters are just generally about everywhere...
Keep checking down all the long, dark, gothic and dripping tunnels...

*red eyes glow irritated*
*sees a small rat signalling from mouth of narrow pipe open into main sewer some distance ahead*

Ant, this way.
*Scurries to pipe and ducks in*

Some information would be nice, BB. We're only trying to protect your monsters.

*removes knife from its sheath in her left welly - just in case*

*follows Rat*

I'm right behind you, Styx.

Most of them are in Pipe 42 - which is a very long and twisty pipe that loops around pretty much all of h2g2, yet never actually seems to have that much liquid waste in.
That doesn't mean that it doesn't smell, though.