h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, that was a compliment, Hannah,
Hmm... what monster have we here???

I dunno but I like it.
Talking ................is a bit ................................difficult.

"checks the bait....not taken, but there's time yet"
"slopes off home to chew on a few old bones & a rat or two while waiting"

I like that guy.
*wonders if she could get a piece of its rat*
Hey, IATM, do you want to take part in our circus?
I could saw you up and try putting you together again.
(I confess it never worked out before but you never know)

Circussssssss !!!!!!!.............sssssssssaaw me up ????????????

but if you like rats I have lots of those , at home,.... drop by and help yourself.

I think I'll stick to the elefant swallowing thing.
*wonders what that slimy thing on her arm is*

i can't swallow elephants, they're tough, tusks stick
i live on nightmares
if i eat elephants i can't ssslide between the cracks in the roof dripping ssslime
you could train the rats for this circus, or kebab them for this popcorn you want, slugs and snails too
i have lotsss of them......i'll trade you....in return for a nightmare......jussst one....

I like the idea of kebabs...
One nightmare, what sort of nightmares are you looking for?
I've got pretty neat nightmares about class mates, but also some about monsters.
What do snails taste like?

snails? a bit like slugs. sslimy, ssalty...you let them sslither down your throat like oysters. that's when they're raw , if you kebab them they'll be chewy
i liked your nightmare ... i like all sorts of nightmares ... i have nightmares about humans...humans with saws

Do you have nightmares about monsters with saws?

That's not a nightmare,....that's carpentry.

Is it just saws that you have nightmares about?
No fears of flamethrowers, atomic bombs, or anything else?

Just Hannahs with saws i think, and getting caught and used as a circus tent. Thats not an attractive idea, speaking as a monster.

i did have one nightmare tho' about the village being bombed and set fire to. That was after calling at our nearby "secret bunker", now a tourist attraction.

i only went to see if the rumours about fluorescent rats there were true of course.

Hannahs with saws??
Funny idea.
I wouldn't use you as tent, but that's a nice idea.
I have nightmares about all people picking on me.
Oh wait, that's reality
BTW I found a pink elefant.
Now I have to find a monster to swallow it.
*looking at the Sewer Monster*

"looks consideringly at pink elefant"
"shoots out long sticky tongue which wraps round elefant, hauls it into its mouth and swallows it whole"
"looks at Hannah"

Well done.
*gives Sewer Monster a hug*

"sewer monster turns pink"

What color did you have before?

*gives Sewer monster some chocolate to cure it*

Black, with occasional glints of livid green.

"eats chocolate and turns brown"

*gives the less scary sewer monster one of her burned cookies (which are black, of course) and adds some green slime*

*curious*