h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well well well. So, you can have them as household pets? I wonder if we could sell a few from the gift shop, as well as a leaflet telling the owners how to properly look after them?

Leberknoedeluses live longer if you put pianos not on them, but next to them.

This is the top reason Leberknoedeluses die.

Okay, we'll have to remember that.
I'll remind the Treblecleftinities about that. They are our resident piano-playing monsters, but they're quite friendly, as long as you play "chopsticks" in a duet with them when they ask. If you don't, well... I won't tell you what happens, but they get very hurt, upset, and angry.

What if I can't play piano?

That's okay, they teach you. They will allow you to play as slowly as 1 note per minute, and show you which not to play next. So, as long as you don't say "no" everyone remains happy.

Phew, that's good.
BTW, I haven't seen Photographus for a while, where is he?

Photgraphus is down the chemists getting some photos developed. He bought a mirror and some cameras, and took lots of shots of himself, and now he plans to paste them over the walls.

I'm always having a camera with me now, I think I'm getting used to the sewer. (which scares me a bit)
Back to the circus, do we have the date of the premiere (spel?) ?

Well, the answer is we need a few more acts yet, I think, before we can open. Plus you need to be able to saw your monsters in half AND put them back together. Once you've practiced enough, then we can book a date.

Do they have to be alive after that?

Urm, yes. I know it's a little fussy, but yes, they should stay alive.

You should have told me earlier, so many monsters had to die so senseless.
Maybe I should sell Popcorn instead...

That's an idea, popcorn is always popular...
Or you could try training some more monsters. What monster is that you're stroking? I can't see in this light.

The Golden Megavienniese Double Monster.(two-headed)
Train them?
Is it enough to learn them breathing?

Mmmm, Popcorn

Well, I was hoping for something a bit more visual than breathing....
Any ideas?

Can you get ones that juggle?

Or do sword swallowing?

What about a monster that juggles other monsters?
Or swallows an elefant?

Yes, they would be VERY visual and exciting - as long as it got the elephant back out again.

You are always making it so difficult for me!
We could take a SECOND elefant and pretend that one was the swallowed one.