h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Be careful Styx - you never know what you may find!

He's a very beautiful rat, isn't he. What a splendid collar!

We'll keep the surveillance cameras on to make sure nothing untoward happens to him.

*shakes blue stars out of eyes and spots CCTV*

Boo yourself.

*flashes toothy grimace at camera and sqeezes through drain to lower levels where no one has been for years. Not even CCTV engineers*

*listens for SadRat, no sound except the drip from the drain and a faint slithering noise*

heh heh heh
Sewer full of tourists, heh heh, right place
*lopes along following scent of fresh air*
Ho! Other rats! *stops to greet a band of about a dozen rats, all much smaller than him* Be careful. Monster eats rats. kitties catch rats. Ants shoot some birds, work for other birds, don't trust ant.

*evaliates surroundings*
*shimmies up very thin stalacmite, too thin for monsters and jumps to access hole to higher level*

*makes face at camera and sprints, following movement of air*
runnn to the hills, heh heh

*the sewer suddenly turns into a pipe sticking out the side of a bank and dirty water pours out the pipe into the stream below. a wire mesh covers the end of the pipe but Styx worries ata rusted staple till it give way and leaps out*

*falls into water and swims to opposite bank then grooms while sniffing the air*

Salt water that way. People swimming other way. Oak trees THAT way!

*scampers into forest*

Hmmm. I had better go and report this to BB.

Thanks for letting me know, Amy.
Be wary, Styx - we know what you are up to, and we have monsters ready to take you out if neccesary, so I wouldn't try anything...

I'm back!!!!!

*realizing noone seems to happy about that*
hmm...

I'm happy you're back - and so is the rare Arglesnegglish monster, which has such an unusually large nose that the females tie their nose hairs in plats...

And we now have a pictuer of a monster on the mainpage

Good Evening - I appear to be lost I was looking for the Underground - are you by any chance an Underground Movement?

Well, we are underground, and occasionally we move... so on the whole... Yes.
Afterall, looking after rare monsters isn't popular these days...

If you are an underground trainer, where would I find an underground train?

Looking after monsters must be a difficult occupation - do they not tend to block most of the view

Yes, they definately do block the view
As for the train... well, we don't really have one.
There are some articles ABOUT trains, though, such as at
http://www.h2g2.com/A304237

Much Obliged

I seem to have found a connection a New York

*tips bowler hat and leaves

ALways happy to help.

*picks up tea leaves, brushes off the dirt and stuffs back into bowler hat

Sorry about the leaves - give my regards to the monsters!

TTFN

Will do - thanks for dropping by - don't get eaten!

*surfs in from the lower levels on wave of sea water backwash caused by a distant sunami*
*falls off surf board*

Hey, who's been tipping leaves around here? Think this is some sort of commuter rat run?

* Lipsbury appears on a Monocyle

* Produces a brush and dustpan and sweeps up any remaining leaves

* Gives the sewer a quick polish to restore to its former state

Sorry - won't happen again

* Gives a cheery wave and cycles off

Thanks Lipsbury.
Is that a momocycle or a unicycle? I've never heard of a monocycle before... must be unique. Could you train any Floegratha Beasts to ride one?

*peers through monocle at the polished bit of floor*
*steps back 100 yards, takes a run and skids, 100mph, over the polish past Bluebottle*

How about that then, trainer!