h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*NYC yells upward* Yeah, that's nice, but with what weapons?!

*moment of inspiration*

Hey, robot, gimme inflatable squids!

Stupid Little Robot-Eh? Um....AAAHHHH!!!!

*The Stupid Little Robot stares blankly at the wall for a few seconds. His voice drops an octave and takes on the inflections of a skilled radio announcer*

Stupid Little Robot-Have you ever wanted a new party favor? Tired of balloons? Pointed hats not your thing? Then try CLI's "Inflatable Squid!" That's right, the Inflatable Squid is the perfect party favor that comes in a variety of sizes and colors! More festive than a shellfish, three out of nine doctors realize how fun it is! Available in a variety of sizes, colors, and species, the inflatable squid is your ticket to party popularity! The CLI Inflatable Squid! Now available at Crater Toys and other locations where CLI products are sold!

*The robot's eyes blink a few times and he resumes his previously manic persona*

Stupid Little Robot-Yeah, they never took squids! I've got big ones and small ones and a Giant Squid, but that one takes a while to inflate without a pump. I have a pump, of course, but that's no fun, it takes too short, and I like the time to pass when I do something that takes this long. Which is why it doesn't.

*Hands a tiny inflatable squid to NYC*

KineSphere-I need no weapons.

You ARE a weapon.

*NYC stares inquisitively at the miniscule toy, prodding and squeezing it tentatively*

Can I have more?

Stupid Little Robot-Only if you dance.

Corrupt: He wouldn't.



Well... maaaaaybe he would...

-_-;...

That's it; tiiiiime for robot dissection!

*NYC plants his foot squarely on the robot's side and starts prying at the panels*

Stupid Little Robot-Tango! Two to tango! Just like Tom Lehrer was talking about!

*The Stupid Little Robot twirls NYC into the closest wall at such a force and angle that it ricochets him off of it and back into the cell of the disgusting little monster thing that NYC was disgusted by*

Stupid Little Robot-I can dance too! I know the Charleston! But my feet aren't good at tap dancing now, just wait,...

*The robot seems to gain roughly half an inch as spikey-looking "taps" emerge from the base of his feet*

Stupid Little Robot-My tap-cleets! I can do the Moon Walk on the Ceiling with these things!

I don't believe it. He danced.

KineSphere-Save it for the battle. I want to leave this place.

*NYC impacts the creature and sends both sliding into the far wall. Sensing that nothing is broken but his pride and merely three or four extraneous ribs, NYC lies there for a few seconds and rethinks his strategy. Angelica would not be happy with the resulting thoughts*

*The Stupid Little Robot buffaloes over to NYC and throws three inflatable squids at him. The Robot shave-and-a-hair-cuts away*

*cough* thankee...

*NYC starts blowing up the squids*

...when are these supposed enemies coming along?

Do you still want out of here?

*Thinks about this*

Wait, I heard what you were thinking!

*Instead of using her powers, she kicks NYC in that all sensitive boy-spot. He keels over in pain.*

Just as effective! So, do you still want out of here?

*NYC, on the floor, which increasingly appears to be the only party in this scene that doesn't attack others without provocation*

...No, no... I think I'll just lie here for a while, thank you.

*With a reckless disregard for the niceties of the rolling-dive-with-weapons-up-dismount with which she should be entering unknown territory, Sol strides in looking vauguely around.*

Ah. New people. Any of you know where Affy is?

*Enters behind Sol, takes a look around.*

Oh, look at the cute little tap-dancing bot!

And a little girl! What is a nice little girl like you doing in a place like this? Are you lost?

It does seem a bit fluffier in here than expected. *Studiously ignores the entity rolling around on the floor in pain*

Would you like a nice bit of candy, little girl? No, wait, that's not my line, is it?

*NYC looks up from the floor to notice the non-prisoner character hovering above him*

You wouldn't be one of those entities I'm to destroy, would you? Would you be willing to part with that weaponry? Well, maybe "willing" is too strong a word...

*NYC swipes out with his leg, with the intent of knocking Solnushka off her feet*

*KineSphere sees the newly arrived adventurers and ceases to hover. He bounces on the floor, each bounce sending him higher and higher at a faster speed. Soon, KineSphere hits the ceiling and begins bouncing around the corridor at incredible speeds, hoping to slam into a protagonist with all of the force that a bouncy-ball travelling at incredible speeds can muster*

Stupid Little Robot-Affy? AFFY!!! *Turns towards Sol* SLOOOOOOOOWLY I turned! *Methodically walks in Sol's direction* STEP BY STEP, INCH BY INCH! *Stops just a foot from Sol* Who's Affy?

[Bass and Treble materialize behind Sol, weapons at the ready.]


[Vegeta] Hey, wait a minute! Someone /else/ is MSTing this!