h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oops. Well, that thing could shock SLR just as easily if it's Kudos and it's mad...

*Stupid Little Robot's seemingly infinite luck seems to momentarily lapse. As soon as he hears the theremin, he looks up in the sky*

Stupid Little Robot-AAAAHHHH!!!!! They're INVADING! SAVE THE COWS!!! READ UP ON GORT'S CODE WORDS!!! XYZZY!!! GET GIANT CLIPPERS TO CUT THE STRINGS THAT'RE HOLDING THEIR SHIPS UP!!! HEAD FOR THE BOMB SHELTER!!!

*Stupid Little Robot runs to the end of the hall and begins pushing the access code buttons on the elevator, and begins randomly pushing buttons on the keypad, hoping to get it correct*

*Kudos painfully regenerates himself, and the sound dies away, though SLR doesn't seem to notice (at least at the moment). He glares at NYC Student, and then realizes who it is. He calms down... /marginally/.*

I know you. What're you doing here? You're not on the Quest!!

Quest? I'm a more "get imprisoned for evil, manic deeds and then commit evil, manic deeds to escape" guy. What's this quest? And why shouldn't I be braining you right now?

*At this moment the Arithmancer and Dr. Harvey finally, finally, finally step into the corridor*

Harvey-Sounds like the fighting's died down....

*The two look around and see NYC and Kudos angrily bantering against each other, a somewhat stupid little robot frantically pushing buttons on an elevator's security lock, a rubber ball just kind of rolling around on the ground, and everyone else awkwardly trying to make sense of the whole thing*

Arithmancer-You people've been fighting, right? Those noises were fighting sounds, right?

What you actually heard were the distinctly unique sounds of slapstick. However, I can see how you could get them confused.

If Stu gets that lift activated, should we take a ride?

Harvey-You mean the robot? Sure. Can't see any other way out of this hall.

[Bass] [raising his arm cannon] I don't suppose blasting it will make it any easier to get through?


[Trunks] No.

Harvey-Try it and see.

[Bass] Okay, then ...


[Vegeta] [as Bass] "Wait, was that being sarcastic?"


[Bass fires at the doors.]

*The dorr is only lightly singed. Stupid Little Robot, however, is very surprised, squeals, and jumps back*

Stupid Little Robot-Darn! I'd almost gone through every one of those, too! Only five more possible combinations! Which ones'd I been saving for last again? Ummmm,....

*NYC looks on with mild frustration; he sticks his tongue out at Bass*

Right, well, on to MY idea for escape...

*NYC starts Binary Blasting the walls... and Kudos again for good measure*

*The walls seem impervious to the attack, probably due to the power-resistant safeguards used when constructing this prison. As for Kudos, we'll just see*

[Bass] ... Hmph. If /I/ couldn't do anything against it, what makes /you/ think /you/ have a chance?

Harvey-Well, he was aiming at the walls while you were aiming at the doors. It isn't an unheard of oversight in some citadels to reinforce the doors but to forget about the walls.

Arithmancer-Also, judging by his weapon (which I simply must get a look at, by the way), it looked like the effect was different. He was intending to dissasemble the reality of the wall, whereas you were trying to blast things.

Stupid Little Robot-Ooh! Ooh! Lemme see the Zerone Gun! *Pointing at the binary blaster*

Yeah, well...

*NYC zaps Bass into a large pile of binary. Bass's arm-cannon clatters to the floor*

And while I'm thinking about it, time to meet your END, robot!

*NYC fires at the SLR, but this time the charge does nothing but fizzle on the dense hull of the stubby little robot*

Nooo! You can't live! Are there so few neurons firing in that cavernous hole where your AI should be that you coudn't devolve if you wanted to? Why won't you DIE? This HAD to work! Why didn't it?!

*NYC inspects the binary blaster with celerity. On the pistol grip is a little LCD screen flashing a battery sign and an X crossing it out. NYC throws the binary blaster at the SLR*

*With a touch of dark sarcasm metamorphosing her sensible boots into decidedly sensible shoes* Well, and I'm sure I can't see why you got put in this place at all.

*mutters* I dunno, if I've told them once, I've told them a thousand times: play nice and don't break each other. Or each other's toys. Or at least wait until he gets through the door.

*Stupid Little Robot picks up the Binary Blaster and whistles. He removes its battery, pulls a battery-shaped extension cord from his back, and plugs the Binary Blaster into himself*

Stupid Little Robot-Two is less than ten, I think,....

*Stupid Little Robot shoots at the keypad that locks the elevator door. The keypad changes from one with eleven buttons (0 through 9 and ENTER) into one with three buttons (0 through 1 and ENTER). Stupid Little Robot squeals with glee, unplugs the Binary Blaster and tosses it back to Kudos*

Stupid Little Robot-Let's see now. Enter 0....

*He presses 0 and pushes ENTER. A buzz indicates that this isn't the proper code*

Stupid Little Robot-Maybe 1....

*1, ENTER, buzz*

Stupid Little Robot-10?

*10, ENTER, buzz*

Stupid Little Robot-01?

*01, ENTER buzz*

Stupid Little Robot-11?

*11, ENTER, buzz*

Stupid Little Robot-00?

*00, ENTER, ding. The locking mechanism turns off and the doors open*

Stupid Little Robot-REZROV! Opens even locked or enchanted objects! The Zerone Gun is a slow Rezrover! That's a cool gun, I wanna play with it again later.

*Stupid Little Robot starts to tap dance directly in front of the door of the elevator, blocking the entrance*

*Kudos reassembles himself with a groan, and groans even more when he sees NYC staring dumbfoundedly at the tap-dancing robot.*

*Why* did I ever leave the Cube Zone...?

*Beams* Splendid. Good work Stu. Now does anyone have any idea of whether we should be going up? Or down? Always assuming Stu feels like letting us in the elevator at all, of course. Perhaps strategic distraction?

*Comes close, but not to close to STR and proffers chocolate. Ot's a bit melted, but the silver wrapping looks nice*