h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Affy5-*Ignoring NYC's arrival completely* Krylma? Bah! He's nothing compared to me, even in this Universe of yours. I once held the fabric of your time continuum in my hands! Almost reshaped it in my own image, as well! I can do it again with or without your help, but it would be much more convenient with.

*Affy5 glances at NYC*

And you to! I want all the help I can get. And believe me, it's better to be at the Devil's side than in his raging path!

FACE's Voice-EVERYONE, PLEASE STAY WHERE YOU ARE FOR AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING THE GAME!

*As he says this, a large monitor pops up, revealing FACE at his Pan-Dimensional pad, cheered on in the background by several other Pan-Dimensional entities. Even in the Pan-Dimension, he just looks like a giant floating head*

*Affy5 glances at this*

Affy5-FACE? What is going on here???

*Kudos is brought back to reality, and wonders the same thing as "Affy5", but is frightened by the menacing, all-encompassing evil aura coming from this creature, very much unlike his own evil. He shudders and hopes FACE has some good news.*

*Corrupt rushes in, almost dry. She, however, takes immediate displeasure in her surroundings and the implications of them (the half of which she's unaware of), and says nothing.*

*NYC doesn't much like playing second fiddle in the whole "rule the universe" game...

...and who is this FACE?...

...but in any case, he keeps his weapon at the ready. NYC remembers his days back in Supervillian training, especially the classes in beginning pyromania (a 100 level course), applied thermodynamics and induced entropy (a 300 level course), and that seminar hosted by Chaos himself. Mmm.*

How about no?

Affy5-*Glances at Corrupt an nods in recognition* You people don't know what you're messing with. Does this NYC speak for all of you? CASKLY NYC!

*So saying, Affy5 points at NYC and a wave of dark magic shoots at NYC. Should it hit, NYC will transform into some form of amphibian such as a newt or frog*

*NYC dodges the magical blast, and gets winged from the full brunt. He turns into a human-sized anthropomorphic lizard, still in overcoat, but the gas mask snaps off*

Hiss!

*NYC lets loose with a torrent from his flamethrower, which, being an amphibian, quickly dries out his skin and makes it ashy, but also turns out the rest of the room in a nice big glow.*

*Affy5 sees the incoming flame and easily dodges. While backflipping out of the way, he reads his spell book to find the two spells that he knows he'll need the most*

FACE-It's time for the final part of the show! There are two categories of winning here: who has found who, and who has who in their party at the moment.

*Cheers from the Pan-Dimensional beings*

Sixth place goes to Bass and Treble for being the ones to find Trinstar in Sartasmus' Crypt!

*The monitor briefly switches to show Bass and Treble (see below for a URL)*

Fifth place goes to Garius Lupus for finding Affy4!

*The monitor briefly switches to show Garius Lupus at the Mesa (see below for the URL)*

Fourth place goes to The Salonistas for being in posession of the frozen body of Trinstar!

*The monitor briefly switches to a view of the Mesa at F125887?thread=338388 where everyone is waiting inside The Ancient One*

Third place goes to YK for being in the same party as Affy4, Afgncaap5's descendant. Affy4 is very close to Affy5 in DNA and principles.

*The monitor briefly switches to a view of the Maximummer Security Brig at F127150?thread=349843 where YK and Affy4 would be seen were it not for the dense tear gas*

Second place goes to Kudos, who not only *found* the anti-Affy5, but also has anti-Affy5 in his group. Being an exact likeness to the DNA of Affy5, this is as close as one could be without actually finding Affy!

*The monitor briefly switches to a view of Level 5 at F127150?thread=347531 *

And finally, first place goes to....Oh, I can't read it!

*Groans and death threats come from the other Pan-Dimensional entities*

Okay, fine. The winner of the first place position....who will also win the fate of the real Afgncaap5, Minos Krylma, The Philosopher's Stone, the Elixir Of Life, and a Vegimatic is....is....now where did I put that envelope....

*The various entities begin powering up for an attack*

Ah, here it is! First prize goes to....AMPTON, the head of security at CLI who has both found Afgncaap5 *AND* has Afgncaap5 in his current location!

*The monitor briefly switches to show Ampton, a bound and gagged Affy5, and a laughing Guru all at F26840?thread=311611 where Ampton looks very, very surprised*

*The assembled pan-dimensional entities power down and begin cheering*

Well, that's all for now! Head home, everyone. Sorry if you're in an unusual predicament at the moment, but I'm bound by rules that prevent me from, say, just letting the good-guys win. You've gotta get home on your own. See ya!


*The monitor vanishes*

*NYC-lizard continues to hose the scene down, following Affy5's dodgings, and set most the room ablaze. He glances at Corrupt, who motions towards the elevator. The plank of wood blocking it has since turned to ash and she's holding the door open. NYC backs towards the elevator*

*Corrupt sticks her staff in the door (trust me, it's *made* not to burn) and grabs Kudos, who is becoming increasingly charred, not to mention angry at not getting the chance of several lifetimes. She shoves him in the elevator and ducks into it herself.*

*NYC stops firing long enough to duck into the elevator and press the "close door" button...

...why won't it CLOSE fast enough?!*

*Anti-Affy5 lands, having memorized the two spells that he needs from his spell book. He holds his hands upwards and gestures at the entire environment around him*

Affy5-KRAK!

*Time drastically slows down. The elevator doors begin to close, but Affy5 has more than enough time. The only problem would be the fire between him and the door*

Affy5-GONDAR!

*The fires all die down. Affy5 steps into the Elevator with the villains*

*Time resumes its normal pace*

Affy5-Greetingage. Care to rethink my offer?

I say we continue this convo in the elevator forum

Agreed.